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Hello out there in cyber land. I have a friend who spends a lot of time on this sight and I thought I would see if there is as much whit as he says there is. I'm not really sure how much I should reveal about myself until I can begin to understand how things work here. From what he says I will be opening myself up for torential torment. (between the lines that is.) I am a Christain and have been for 41 years. Was 24 years old when I gave my life to Christ and have lived for Him every since. My whole life is dedicated to leading others to Christ, but most all my resources and time go to places where people are hungry for the Word and the Gospel Message. I don't waste much of my time or treasure for those who want nothing to do with Christ. I shake the dust off my feet and leave them to thier own demise. My log in name is Moklisto and it is the word for "Christian" in a different language. Go easy on me..... Moklisto
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Romans 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools. -
Re: I have heard a lot about this sight. I am curious
Welcome, Moklisto. There's no wit on this forum, only Scripture. So what church do you attend? Do you have favorite Bible verse? I presume you're married with children at your age. Have many do you have?sigpic Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies -
Re: I have heard a lot about this sight. I am curious
I am 39 years married, two children, 6 grandchildren, attend an Evangelical Covenant Church and my favorate verse is Mathew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me Lord Lord will enter the kingdom of Heaven but only he who does the will of my Father in heaven." Kind of weeds out the sayers from the doers, don't you say?Romans 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools.Comment
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Re: I have heard a lot about this sight. I am curious
Welcome friend, tell me, what does the name stand for? I do not recall a reference to it in the KJV.
Why did God allow you to only have two children? Were your wifes eggs dried out due to whoredom and cleansing with Lysol©?Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
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Re: I have heard a lot about this sight. I am curious
If I was born around 1611 you might recognize some of my comments and as far as my wife drying up...it was more like a surgical "clippeth" by my doctoreth...Romans 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools.Comment
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Re: I have heard a lot about this sight. I am curious
Not sure I follow you friend. Not many people recall anything about when they were born (for good reason too, what a terrifying event it must of been!)
Doctors? A doctor mutilated your wife? How did it happen?
1 Kings 18:24-29
24 And call ye on the name of your gods, and I will call on the name of the Lord: and the God that answereth by fire, let him be God. And all the people answered and said, It is well spoken.
25 And Elijah said unto the prophets of Baal, Choose you one bullock for yourselves, and dress it first; for ye are many; and call on the name of your gods, but put no fire under.
26 And they took the bullock which was given them, and they dressed it, and called on the name of Baal from morning even until noon, saying, O Baal, hear us. But there was no voice, nor any that answered. And they leaped upon the altar which was made.
27 And it came to pass at noon, that Elijah mocked them, and said, Cry aloud: for he is a god; either he is talking, or he is pursuing, or he is in a journey, or peradventure he sleepeth, and must be awaked.
28 And they cried aloud, and cut themselves after their manner with knives and lancets, till the blood gushed out upon them.
29 And it came to pass, when midday was past, and they prophesied until the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice, that there was neither voice, nor any to answer, nor any that regarded.
Leviticus 19:28
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.
Mark 5:2-5
2 And when he was come out of the ship, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit,
3 Who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with chains:
4 Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him.
5 And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones.
Mark 9:17-22
17 And one of the multitude answered and said, Master, I have brought unto thee my son, which hath a dumb spirit;
18 And wheresoever he taketh him, he teareth him: and he foameth, and gnasheth with his teeth, and pineth away: and I spake to thy disciples that they should cast him out; and they could not.
19 He answereth him, and saith, O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? how long shall I suffer you? bring him unto me.
20 And they brought him unto him: and when he saw him, straightway the spirit tare him; and he fell on the ground, and wallowed foaming.
21 And he asked his father, How long is it ago since this came unto him? And he said, Of a child.
22 And ofttimes it hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters, to destroy him: but if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us.Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
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Re: I have heard a lot about this sight. I am curious
Welcome to God's favorite forum. Curiosity isn't much of a reason to participate in this discussion and praise group, but I guess it's a start. Are you named after some kind of a shellfish?
If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.
If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.
You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.
Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: I have heard a lot about this sight. I am curious
Actually, I told my doctoreth that I haveth two small tubeths in mine lowereth groin area that didst offendeth me so I hadeth him plucketh them outeth.Romans 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools.Comment
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Re: I have heard a lot about this sight. I am curious
Seems your spellchecker is dead, I hope that like Lazarus it will be revived. Stick to things you know.
Le:21:17: Speak unto Aaron, saying, Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God.
Le:21:18: For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,
Le:21:19: Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded,
Le:21:20: Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;
Not much hope for you then?
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Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
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Re: I have heard a lot about this sight. I am curious
This man is an idiot.Originally posted by moklisto View Post
YBICComment
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Re: I have heard a lot about this sight. I am curious
Indeed it does. Are you saying that good works are necessary to salvation?Originally posted by mollusko View PostChristians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Re: I have heard a lot about this sight. I am curious
How witty of you making fun of the King James English. You amuse yourself getting cheap laughs off of people's treasured beliefs, don't you?Originally posted by mollusko View PostChristians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Re: I have heard a lot about this sight. I am curious
Yes, I do. King James is long dead and so is His english, unless you are over 400 years old. Are you Methusola? You don't look like you are over 400 years old in your picture. Did you use someone elses picture? If you were a little older you might use Latin ( as in the Latin Vulgate Version of the bible.)Romans 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools.Comment
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Re: I have heard a lot about this sight. I am curious
So you start off with a dead Latin name, mock the KJV because it has stood the test of time and fault a man for being given the gift of life by God to age gracefully.
I do not normally say things like this but no other terms fit. Though I know God feels the same way. Someone has to fit the description and you are it.
You are an asshole.Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
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Re: I have heard a lot about this sight. I am curious
Mr Musk Ox.Originally posted by mollusko View Post
1. Do not mock the Bible - it won't get you anywhere with God:
Galatians 6:7 - Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
2. You do not know any one here so why do you mock them. We are here to Praise the Lord not make a mockery of others. Maybe as you grow older and walk further along the path with Jesus you may gain a little wisdom.
Proverbs 1:7 - The fear of the LORD [is] the beginning of knowledge: [but] fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Isaiah 66:15
For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.Comment
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