[Deaner]

Re: Are you guys for real?

... he may have seen fit to give you other comely and shapely virtues.

Christ I hope so. How's about a wee peek at your cunt then? Jesus says I'm not allowed unless I rape or marry you.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Are you guys for real?

Deaner, my goodness, why on Earth would you want to look upon a woman's private parts? No good will come of this, my brother, no good at all!

[Deaner]

Re: Are you guys for real?

Deaner, my goodness, why on Earth would you want to look upon a woman's private parts? No good will come of this, my brother, no good at all!

It's the stench that gets me.

[Deaner]

Re: Are you guys for real?

Where did that come from? It is completely illogical- My parents taught me to be accepting of others and respectful, so that means I am ok with murder, terrorism and paedophilia? I am respectful of others peoples beliefs that are not harmful to others. I do not respect Muslims who want to launch another terrorist attack and I hope they will be jailed before they do harm, but that does not mean I don't respect all the other Muslims. Muslims are following their religion and believe it is right, and you are doing the same for your belief. Why can't you accept your differences and move on?

Plus the biggest profile of child molesters in Britain are priests who have sex with little boys. Does your Bible say anything about how it is ok for a man of God to do that to a child?

Alright Caitlin, Professor of the Bible and all things wise; if you are so well read and deem yourself an excellent critic of the Bible, what did the talking donkey from Balamm have to do with the king of the Moabites?

The king of the Moabites wouldn't take no for an answer so he sent more messengers to Balaam promising him a great reward if he would just come and curse the Israelites. The promise of great riches enticed Balaam so he prayed to God once again to see if God would change his mind. God had already told Balaam what to do so this prayer was an insult to God. So God told Balaam to go with Balak's messengers. When morning came, Balaam left with Balak's messengers making God very angry with Balaam. God had decided to kill Balaam for his disobedience using an angel to carry out the death sentence.

What was the angels name??

[SickSadWorld]

Re: Are you guys for real?

I joined for the exact same reason, Caitlyn. I want to learn about this fascinating religion that I actually had no idea existed.

I definitely do not agree with the ideals of this religion (in that case, I do not agree with the ideals of the Bible) but at the same time it's all so damn fascinating!

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Are you guys for real?

I joined for the exact same reason, Caitlyn. I want to learn about this fascinating religion that I actually had no idea existed.

I definitely do not agree with the ideals of this religion (in that case, I do not agree with the ideals of the Bible) but at the same time it's all so damn fascinating!

You had no idea Christianity existed? Now I know you're just trolling with stupid. It's been the biggest force for social justice in history. All we need to do is stand firm and proud against the forces of wishy washy liberalism trying to dilute God's message of loving eternal punishment for people who don't obey Him.

It's like they think people just reasoning things out can come up with a better system than God who made everything. I know, crazy, right!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Are you guys for real?

I definitely do not agree with the ideals of this religion (in that case, I do not agree with the ideals of the Bible)

At last, a newcomer gets it. The ideals of Landover Baptist Church and the ideals of God's Word are one and the same — praise His glorious name! So many liberal false Christian bliss ninnies come here to rebuke us for not following some "teachings of Christ" that they make up as they go along and that bear as much resemblance to the actual teachings of Christ as a Hellyweird movie "based on a true story" bears to actual history.

[Sammy The Penitent]

Re: Are you guys for real?

Christ I hope so. How's about a wee peek at your cunt then? Jesus says I'm not allowed unless I rape or marry you.

I think it is very Christian of Deaner to offer to check Caitlin's stinky place to make sure she is pure and free from sin.

YIC

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Are you guys for real?

I think it is very Christian of Deaner to offer to check Caitlin's stinky place to make sure she is pure and free from sin.

YIC

Of course it is. Brother Deaner is a True Christian™ man and close, personal friend to the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. If the Holy Spirit calls him to help in some unconventional way, it means the Good Lord knows He can count on Mr. Deaner to do the job and to do it right. See, if God thinks marching around a city seven times and blowing trumpets is a good way to destroy an entire city, then who knows what jobs He may have in store for Brother Deaner.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Are you guys for real?

I'm sorry, but I don't think Deaner should have anything to do with this painted woman. I think she's giving him ideas.

[Deaner]

Re: Are you guys for real?

Of course it is. Brother Deaner is a True Christian™ man and close, personal friend to the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. If the Holy Spirit calls him to help in some unconventional way, it means the Good Lord knows He can count on Mr. Deaner to do the job and to do it right. See, if God thinks marching around a city seven times and blowing trumpets is a good way to destroy an entire city, then who knows what jobs He may have in store for Brother Deaner.

You just made me cry Sister Mary (sniff). Thank you.

[Deaner]

Re: Are you guys for real?

I joined for the exact same reason, Caitlyn. I want to learn about this fascinating religion that I actually had no idea existed.

I definitely do not agree with the ideals of this religion

What are our ideals (just to make sure you were paying attention)? Quickly now, it's almost time for Pastor Zeke's sermon, cookies and bourbon. You should be in bed by around 4am unless you are called to Pastor Zeke's private chambers for quizzing.