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I am a Major Malfunction
Hello I not much in speaking skills. teh devil touched my brain when i sinned in womb. yEs I am Mentnly retardid. But i tink with enough of Gods devine love and care I can makes it into hevan.
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Re: I am a Major Malfunction
God has truly graced us with your presence. Tell me friend, how are you planning to repent for your egregious mistakes?Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. -
Re: I am a Major Malfunction
I seak repentence though the bible King james.
Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing.Comment
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Re: I am a Major Malfunction
Sorry friend, no one speaks retard here. Please speak in American.
I appreciate the 2 Corinthians 7:9 copy and paste though. I guess the baby sitter did not shake you quite hard enough.Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
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Re: I am a Major Malfunction
Well yes, God can cure you. You just need to read the KJV Bible, believe it, follow it to the letter, and then have the faith of a mustard seed and God will grant you anything that you wish. Well except for wishes that are covetous in nature, I came across that one a few days ago, and now it's slipped my mind as to where it was.Originally posted by Hello1 View Post
Note to self, Only attempt to read Bible when children are tied to their beds.
Ephesian 5:5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Colossians 3:5 Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
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Re: I am a Major Malfunction
i speka retard. HE SAYS that he beleeves theOriginally posted by James Hutchins View Post
and he is repenting for hIS SINS 
For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. (1 Corinthians 11:6)Comment
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Re: I am a Major Malfunction
Ask it if it's got any money.Originally posted by Betty Sue View Posti speka retard. HE SAYS that he beleeves the and he is repenting for hIS SINS 
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: I am a Major Malfunction
i Have not mu ch in way of money. sitter nice person . not shake me at all. she gifs alowunce which i offer to church eech sundey in hope God will have mercee an forgive my sins. if Godforgiv my sins will my retarddnes be cure?Comment
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Re: I am a Major Malfunction
mother tell me retardadness fault mine ever since i young. say it my sinful thougts that made her drink while i stil in tumy. An god punishe me that why i retardaded an no longer think sinful thougts.Comment
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Re: I am a Major Malfunction
Hey there, are you a boy or a girl? Why don't you upload a photo of yourself? It's always nice being able to put a face to the name!WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.Comment
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Re: I am a Major Malfunction
Which means you are a gay sheep?Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Jesus loves you seriously bigtime. He’d hug you until your eyeballs exploded out of your skull if he ever met you. He’d windsurf across oceans of dead Nazis which he personally slaughtered just to tell you that your new haircut is the bee’s knees. Jesus is like the monster truck of love and you are an old Geo Metro which he will roar his massive engine over and crush your pathetic fiberglass frame into a crumpled heap. Praise Jesus, especially when it’s sunny outside because Jesus would totally be cool with you praising while you get a nice tan.
- Ecclesiastes xii.7Comment
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Re: I am a Major Malfunction
You shut your mouth, whore.Originally posted by Dutch Girl View PostWhich means you are a gay sheep?
YIC1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.Comment
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Re: I am a Major Malfunction
Ditch Girl, this thread is not about your fantasies.Originally posted by Dutch Girl View PostWhich means you are a gay sheep?
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Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Re: I am a Major Malfunction
shitter help i upload best foto of myself in morning after i sing praises to Lord and beg forgivnes for sinsComment
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Re: I am a Major Malfunction
The Lord has provided many ways to enter The Kingdom of Heaven. In your case, we can discount anything other than a simple and very basic understanding of His Son, Jesus Christ.
Following rules may therefore be difficult for you. So I will give you a verse to ponder: Mat:19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.sigpic
Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
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