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  • MilitantImbecile
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    • Feb 2013
    • 95

    #1

    Greetings

    Hello Landover,

    I've been a long time lurker and decided to join because of all of the polarization I see on this board. Perhaps I can bring some moderation into the discussions.

    I live on the outskirts of Vancouver BC, Canada, and no I don't do drugs. I'm a practitioner of Zen and Brad Warner is my favourite living ripoche. I don't go to a "church" because most Zen centres in Vancouver are the modern Hippie version of Buddhism.

    My favourite Bible verse? Well I love the entire book of Ecclesiastes. Some of my favourites out of that book are

    Ecclesiastes 1:14 I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.

    Ecclesiastes 2:11 Then I looked on all the works that my hands had wrought, and on the labour that I had laboured to do: and, behold, all was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was no profit under the sun.

    Ecclesiastes 2:15 Then said I in my heart, As it happeneth to the fool, so it happeneth even to me; and why was I then more wise? Then I said in my heart, that this also is vanity.

    Ecclesiastes 3:19 For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity.

    Ecclesiastes 5:10 He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this is also vanity.

    Ecclesiastes 8:14 There is a vanity which is done upon the earth; that there be just men, unto whom it happeneth according to the work of the wicked; again, there be wicked men, to whom it happeneth according to the work of the righteous: I said that this also is vanity.

    Such a beautiful book that gets ignored way too much. I love the "all is vanity" theme of the entire book.

    I don't believe in Jesus, in fact I don't even believe that the Jesus of the Bible ever existed, if he did, he seems to have suffered from severe schizophrenia. I'm not saying that to be mean, but one minute he's saying blessed are the meek, the next he's cursing a fig tree for not bearing fruit out of season.

    I will give you guys props for using the KJV Bible. It's a beautifully written book. The poetic images found in the Elizabethan English is lost in the modern translations. I also agree with you regarding the NIV, that thing is nothing more than an attempt to twist Christianity into modern ethics. Oh, we don't like that the Bible has mythological animals in it? Well we'll just change those words to animals that really exist. Don't like it when Jesus is mean? Well we'll just change that.

    I wonder what it's going to look like in 50 years.
  • Dr Laurence Niles
    Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
     
    • Jan 2012
    • 9063

    #2
    Re: Greetings

    I don't believe in Jesus, in fact I don't even believe that the Jesus of the Bible ever existed, if he did, he seems to have suffered from severe schizophrenia. I'm not saying that to be mean, but one minute he's saying blessed are the meek, the next he's cursing a fig tree for not bearing fruit out of season.
    So if a father teaches his children to be well mannered but also burns down some poison ivy growing up the barn wall he is crazy.

    Give me a break.

    YIC
    1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

    Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

    Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

    Comment

    • MilitantImbecile
      Confirmed Enemy of God
      • Feb 2013
      • 95

      #3
      Re: Greetings

      I'm sorry, was I supposed to use the form? I didn't see anyone else use it, but I want to follow your forum rules.

      Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
      This is not directed at those of you who have come here with a sincere desire to fellowship with Christians and seek answers to Biblical questions. This is for those of you who think it's funny to come here and try to get a rise out of us.

      Just to make your lives easier, here is a form letter you can fill out. Simply fill in the blanks, put a check mark next to the appropriate options, and you'll have your introductory troll post all squared away:


      _Hello,
      _Namaste,
      _Blessed Be,
      _Word Up,
      _Orale Vato,
      X Greetings,

      My name is [COLOR="rgb(153, 50, 204)"]MilitantModerate[/COLOR] and I am a

      _false Christian
      [COLOR="rgb(153, 50, 204)"]X Buddhist[/COLOR]
      _Wiccan
      _Satanist
      _"Free Thinker"
      _Unitarian
      _Mormon
      _mormon
      _idolator
      _homosexual
      _drug addict
      _hippie
      _Lutheran
      _European
      _"1337 haxxor"
      _Methodist
      _Feminazi

      (check all that apply)

      _I attend _____________ (enter name of non-existent Church)
      _I attend _____________ (enter name of church you found in the Yellow Pages)
      _I do not belong to any church or believe in organized religion.
      [COLOR="rgb(153, 50, 204)"]X The Earth and the trees are my church.[/COLOR]


      _My favorite Bible verse is [COLOR="rgb(153, 50, 204)"]Mentioned above[/COLOR]
      (Copy and paste random verse from NIV Life Application Study Bible)

      _I have [COLOR="rgb(153, 50, 204)"]_0[/COLOR] children.

      I am

      [COLOR="rgb(153, 50, 204)"]X unmarried.[/COLOR]
      _married to a man.
      _married to a woman.
      _married to a toaster.
      _married to several men.
      _married to several women.
      _married to several men and women.
      _married to several men, women, and toasters.

      (check all that apply)

      I am here to

      _waste your time.
      _amuse myself.
      _lie to you.
      _use circumlocution to obfuscate the fact that I am a moral relativist.
      _use misinterpretations of scripture to create the false impression of the Bible contradicting itself.
      _horrify you.
      _flaunt my gay "lifestyle."
      _lead you astray.
      _flame you.
      _make you feel sorry for me.
      _get you all worked up.
      _send my unsolicited "dick pics" to Forum Members or True Christians with whom I'd like to have "cyber-sex."

      (check all that apply)


      [COLOR="rgb(153, 50, 204)"]None of the above? [/COLOR]

      When my initial post doesn't get the reaction I was hoping for, I will

      _take things up a notch.
      _play dumb.
      _drop my thin veneer of civility.
      _act like a baby.
      _copy and paste meaningless garbage from Wikipedia.
      _copy and paste meaningless garbage from "scientific" publications.
      _get on my high horse.
      _say I feel sorry for all of you.
      _accuse you of being racists.
      _accuse you of being homophobic.
      _accuse you of being xenophobic.
      _decry your blatant misogyny.
      _insist that I understand the Bible better than you.

      (check all that apply)



      [COLOR="rgb(153, 50, 204)"]None of the above?[/COLOR]

      Well there you have it, new trolls. I suppose with all the time this form has saved you, you'll be able to spend more time doing the things that really matter to you, like getting high, downloading pornography, and listening to NPR.

      YOU'RE WELCOME!
      I don't think I'm a "troll", I don't get high, I don't download pornography, and I don't listen to NPR.

      Comment

      • MilitantImbecile
        Confirmed Enemy of God
        • Feb 2013
        • 95

        #4
        Re: Greetings

        Originally posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
        So if a father teaches his children to be well mannered but also burns down some poison ivy growing up the barn wall he is crazy.

        Give me a break.

        YIC
        Not quite sure what poison ivy has to do with fig trees that aren't in season.

        I think a more apt example would be burning down your orchard because there's no apples in February.

        Comment

        • Redeemed Papist
          Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light(c)
          True Christian™
          • Jul 2011
          • 10409

          #5
          Re: Greetings

          So what did Jesus do to cause you to hate Him and become a liar?
          1 John 5:10 He that believeth on the Son of God hath the witness in himself: he that believeth not God hath made him a liar; because he believeth not the record that God gave of his Son.
          He died (temporarily) so He doesn't have to burn you forever, you know!
          sigpic
          Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

          John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

          Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
          The truth about volcanos
          Sex and debauchery in public schools
          Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
          God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
          Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

          Comment

          • MilitantImbecile
            Confirmed Enemy of God
            • Feb 2013
            • 95

            #6
            Re: Greetings

            Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
            So what did Jesus do to cause you to hate Him and become a liar?
            1 John 5:10 He that believeth on the Son of God hath the witness in himself: he that believeth not God hath made him a liar; because he believeth not the record that God gave of his Son.
            He died (temporarily) so He doesn't have to burn you forever, you know!
            I can't say that Jesus "did anything" as I mentioned above, I don't believe Jesus existed. Sure there were a lot of Jesus' running around, but it was a popular name. Sort of like it is in Mexico.

            Yes, I know that if I'm wrong I'll end up in Hell. But to follow the Buddhist creed, if that's my fate, so be it. Perhaps I'll be able to ease suffering down there.

            Of course threatening an atheist (yes I'm an atheist Buddhist) with Hell is like threatening an adult with coal in their stocking at Christmas. It's not much of a threat if you don't believe.

            Anyway, doesn't the Bible say that God has already chosen who's going to heaven and who's going to hell? Maybe I'm just one of those destined for hell. I don't know. All I do know is that I tried all sorts of churches trying to find my place and I never felt the "holy spirit", never the "presence of God". So, in my opinion, either the Christian god doesn't exist, or he doesn't want to talk to me.

            Comment

            • Redeemed Papist
              Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light(c)
              True Christian™
              • Jul 2011
              • 10409

              #7
              Re: Greetings

              Originally posted by MilitantModerate View Post
              I can't say that Jesus "did anything" blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
              You don't need to. The Bible does it for you. You people and your arrogance that you have all the answers and they aren't in the Bible make me want to puke.

              Well we do have all the answers. And they're in the Bible.
              sigpic
              Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

              John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

              Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
              The truth about volcanos
              Sex and debauchery in public schools
              Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
              God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
              Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

              Comment

              • MilitantImbecile
                Confirmed Enemy of God
                • Feb 2013
                • 95

                #8
                Re: Greetings

                Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
                You don't need to. The Bible does it for you. You people and your arrogance that you have all the answers and they aren't in the Bible make me want to puke.
                Hey, thanks for reading the rest of my post. That makes for such an educated discussion.

                Well we do have all the answers. And they're in the Bible.
                Okay, since you guys love the Bible so much I'll repeat what I said with KJV Scripture. And yes, I've read the Bible, I also read the NIV and tossed it in the trash. That should count for something around here.

                Yes, I know that if I'm wrong I'll end up in Hell

                How can I put this to you. If I threaten that if you're not nice to me that Santa won't bring you any presents, would you consider that a threat? Of course not, because you don't believe in Santa. Therefore threatening me with Hell doesn't have much affect because I don't believe.

                the Bible say that God has already chosen who's going to heaven and who's going to hell? Maybe I'm just one of those destined for hell.

                John
                12:38 That the saying of Esaias the prophet might be fulfilled, which he spake, Lord, who hath believed our report? and to whom hath the arm of the Lord been revealed?
                12:39 Therefore they could not believe, because that Esaias said again,
                12:40 He hath blinded their eyes, and hardened their heart; that they should not see with their eyes, nor understand with their heart, and be converted, and I should heal them.

                2 Thessalonians
                2:11 And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie:

                If your God doesn't want me to believe in him, who are you to argue?

                I never felt the "holy spirit", never the "presence of God". So, in my opinion, either the Christian god doesn't exist, or he doesn't want to talk to me.

                I know, as I go further into the threads, I'll read about you people feeling God inside of you. Well it's never happened to me. I've tried, I've prayed, I've worked hard at it, but nothing.

                If the Christian god exists, then I think the Calvinists are right.

                Comment

                • MilitantImbecile
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  • Feb 2013
                  • 95

                  #9
                  Re: Greetings

                  On a related subject. I was looking through your "noobs read this first" thread, and came across the "do you think we're racist" post.

                  Okay, so you have a pretty good argument for Ham (although I'm not 100% sure on who or how it was decided which son became which race) Also, how did Noah have 3 kids of three different races? But I digress.

                  I see a lot of racism against the Asians on this board. According to you Shem is the father of Asians, well I looked up Shem and the Bible doesn't say much about him other than Japheth will sleep in his tents. In fact the "Blessed be the LORD God of Shem" in verse 27 seems to say that Shem is god's favourite. If it was whites, wouldn't it read "the LORD God of Japheth"?

                  And the sons of Noah, that went forth of the ark, were Shem, [Father of Asians] and Ham, [father of blacks] and Japheth [father of Whites]: and Ham is the father of Canaan. These are the three sons of Noah: and of them was the whole earth overspread.
                  And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
                  And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.
                  And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.
                  And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.
                  And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.
                  And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants ("The lowest of slaves - New International Version) shall he be unto his brethren.
                  And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
                  God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
                  And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren. And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant. - Genesis 9:18-27

                  Comment

                  • MilitantImbecile
                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                    • Feb 2013
                    • 95

                    #10
                    Re: Greetings

                    Oh, and I know you like avatars, I've uploaded one, but it's not showing up. Can one of the mods see what's happening?

                    Comment

                    • Redeemed Papist
                      Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light(c)
                      True Christian™
                      • Jul 2011
                      • 10409

                      #11
                      Re: Greetings

                      So... why did you hate Jesus and reject His glorious sacrifice to save you from eternal damnation again? You seem to have neglected to mention what Jesus did to upset you when He died to save you.
                      sigpic
                      Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                      John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                      Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                      The truth about volcanos
                      Sex and debauchery in public schools
                      Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                      God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                      Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                      Comment

                      • James Hutchins
                        True Christian™
                        Just a Regular Nice Guy
                         
                        • Jun 2009
                        • 29453

                        #12
                        Re: Greetings

                        Welcome friend, tell me, why all the hate. You know, God put us together to work for Him, not against Him. Why do you think you know better than Jesus?
                        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                        Comment

                        • MilitantImbecile
                          Confirmed Enemy of God
                          • Feb 2013
                          • 95

                          #13
                          Re: Greetings

                          Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
                          So... why did you hate Jesus and reject His glorious sacrifice to save you from eternal damnation again? You seem to have neglected to mention what Jesus did to upset you when He died to save you.
                          I'm not sure how to put this clearer. If Jesus did anything to "upset" me, it was that he ignored me. I tried to be Christian, I tried really hard, I prayed I fasted, but nothing, nadda. So I gave up.

                          Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                          Welcome friend, tell me, why all the hate. You know, God put us together to work for Him, not against Him. Why do you think you know better than Jesus?
                          Because Jesus is as mythological as Hercules? Tell you what, the Bible says that if 2 or 3 of you pray together that God will grant what you want. Why don't you pray for him to open the hearts of all the atheists on this board.

                          Comment

                          • Rev. Edward Clement
                            True Christian™
                            True Christian™
                            • Jan 2010
                            • 1654

                            #14
                            Re: Greetings

                            Originally posted by MilitantModerate View Post
                            I never felt the "holy spirit", never the "presence of God". So, in my opinion, either the Christian god doesn't exist, or he doesn't want to talk to me.
                            Hello friend, I must first enlighten you of the fact that this is not a debate forum. Nevertheless, if you would but read the Bible you would see that, we do not walk by feelings nor by sight, we walk by Faith that was provided by the Sacrifice of Jesus for our sins to Himself.

                            2 Corinthians
                            5:7 (For we walk by faith, not by sight).

                            Also, the Lord Speaks through His Word©.

                            2 Timothy
                            3:15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

                            1 Samuel
                            3:21
                            And the LORD appeared again in Shiloh: for the LORD revealed himself to Samuel in Shiloh by the word of the LORD.
                            sigpic

                            Psalm 50:22 Now consider this, ye that forget God, lest I tear you in pieces, and there be none to deliver.
                            Deuteronomy32:35 To me belongeth vengeance and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.
                            Jerimiah 13:14 And I will dash them one against another, even the fathers and the sons together, saith the LORD: I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them.
                            Numbers 32:23 But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will find you out.
                            Leviticus24:14 Bring forth him that hath cursed without the camp; and let all that heard him lay their hands upon his head, and let all the congregation stone him.
                            Ephesians5:5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.5:6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. 5:7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them.

                            Comment

                            • MilitantImbecile
                              Confirmed Enemy of God
                              • Feb 2013
                              • 95

                              #15
                              Re: Greetings

                              Originally posted by Rev. Edward Clement View Post
                              Hello friend, I must first enlighten you of the fact that this is not a debate forum. Nevertheless, if you would but read the Bible you would see that, we do not walk by feelings nor by sight, we walk by Faith that was provided by the Sacrifice of Jesus for our sins to Himself.

                              2 Corinthians
                              5:7 (For we walk by faith, not by sight).

                              Also, the Lord Speaks through His Word©.

                              2 Timothy
                              3:15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

                              1 Samuel
                              3:21
                              And the LORD appeared again in Shiloh: for the LORD revealed himself to Samuel in Shiloh by the word of the LORD.
                              Yet I see you guys going on all the time about how you felt the power of god, or felt god working through you yet I have never felt anything no matter how much I tried.

                              So I have to assume one of two things
                              1) god doesn't exist
                              2) god has already condemned me to hell and doesn't want to hear from me.

                              Comment

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