New Member

[Paul Cooper]

Hello fellow believers. My family and I recently moved here, and boy do I have a horror story for you. I asked some neighbors about local churches and because I am black they must have thought I was negroidal, they recommended New Christ Fellowship. I should have been tipped off by the name. New Christ??? Nothing is wrong with Christ, he doesn't need anything new.

When we got to the coven of heathens, they spent 35 minutes singing like maniac and gyrating like epileptics! The next 5 minutes were agonizing. A teenage hoodlum rapper about his love for the Lord. Everyone knows that rap is evil, why would you commit such sacrilege? Finally we got to the sermon and the "preacher," only preached for 20 minutes!!! He only quoted the bible once. The next hour was spent with these heathens fraternizing.

I heard the "preacher," tell a woman that God would want her to accept her faggot son. I would have informed this woman that her son is going to Hell, but it was obvious that everyone there was going to Hell.

I found my kids talking to a couple of negroidalchildren named Shaniqua and Deyvon. That's when I took my family and stormed out of there. My children are named Mary and David. The Bible has all the names a good Christian needs, not made up names that sound like the growlings of Satan himself.

When we got home, I enrolled my children for counseling. I have no idea how badly this trip affected my family, but I'm not letting my children become Godless negro. I thank the Almighty that I was adopted and raised by true God-loving Christians who raised me to be a true believer and an upright American citizen. Praise the Lord that my family and I have found Landover Baptist Church!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: New Member

What church do you go to, dear? What is your favorite Bible verse, and how did you come to find Jesus?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: New Member

Welcome to God's favorite forum, boy. You'll do fine here as long as you know your place. All of our nigras know their place.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: New Member

Welcome to Landover Brother Cooper. You seem like an articulate and bright and clean and nice-looking guy (to echo the words of Joe Biden). I can tell from your photo that the Holy Spirit has infused you and brought you to Landover. I can see that the Holy Spirit has started lightening your skin, unlike that disease that Michael Jackson had.

I can truly sympathize with your plight. The nigra has been exploited in the churches with all kinds of James Brown shucking and jiving - why I've even witnessed them tossing around watermelons in the sanctuary.

Praise Jesus - you have come to the right place.

You might want to check out Landover's very own Remy Lebeau and his Ex-Negro ministry.

Ask an Ex-Negro

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=60

[TheLordSavedMe]

Re: New Member

Hi Paul!

It's really great to meet a black guy that isn't a rapist, a gang banger, or a pie thief.

I'm sorry GOD made you be born a black.

But it's totallllllly OK, cuz you can become a ex-black guy here!

And when you do, you'll be able to get SAVED and everything!

Oh, I almost forgot to ask. Are you a pimp?








Tammi

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: New Member

When we got home, I enrolled my children for counseling.

Hello Mr Cooper. I hope you chose a Christian counsellor - many of those other freaks are in lock step with secularist agendaniks recommending activities certain to consolidate any foothold the devil may have gotten in your family and it's a fact that they celebrate each and every new demon introduced into a "client" with the utmost depravity - obviously no Christian would do such a thing.

Perhaps if you mentioned your situation to a Pastor after you've settled the tithing plan he would be able to confirm whether you've chosen wisely.

Welcome to our friendly forum, praising Jesus for His Lovingkindness shown over the millennia to those who love Him.

PSALM 63
3—4 Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee. Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.
5b-6a…my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips: When I remember thee upon my bed
11b but the mouth of them that speak lies shall be stopped.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . KJV .whole Psalm. . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

[Faith_Machine]

Re: New Member

Paul, I'm sorry you had this experience. I've noticed that people do this sort of thing to blacks all the time, assuming they'll like certain things just because they're black. For instance, how about those election officials down South, assuming you all wanted to keep your Sunday voting and your extended poll hours? Unbelievable. Good thing the elected leaders down there listened to the will of the people and got rid of that nonsense.

[Paul Cooper]

Re: New Member

Thank you my friends for considering for your flock despite my physical condition. I am actually one of a set of quints that was given into state custody by my drug addicted mother.

To address some of your points, I am not a pimp, I am a lawyer for the prosecution for the great state of Iowa, but after my brothers and I re-found each other, I learned that my brother Tito was indeed a pimp. He is a disgrace as well as my brother Muhammad Ali Ak-Riba. He was adopted by people who wanted to exploit government benefits and didn't get a fine Christian education. In a lack of faith decided he would pick up the Koran and decided that Steve was an uncool name and renamed himself into something Islamic standing and has to apparently pray to the East because he is ignorant that Christ is the true Lord and not a "prophet."

My last church was the First Baptist Church of Dallas where my kids learned Godly lessons and not things like how to hide your IPad while pretending you're at a church. My last church experience in Landover has kept me so mad but now that I have been enlightened by the rest of my flock, I won't speak poorly about them because we are all God's children and God doesn't want us to speak so poorly about the deluded Idol heathens.

Proverbs 21:21 is one of my favorite Bible verses. I seriously worry about my physical condition but I was raised by a loving family. This proves to me that I won't be damned because I am both righteous and kind. I thank the Lord that missionaries go to Godforsaken parts of Africa in order to spread the word.

My wife Sarah, took a lot of slack for dating and marrying me due to my condition. We now have strange Brown haired blue eyed children but they have been raised to love the Lord.

I would love to get my children into counseling with the esteemed Pastors of this church. The recommendations that my insurance gave me all ended with people with last names ended with -stein Wow, they can't understand what a good Christian wants for their family. I scheduled them for an appointment with a woman named Smith and I'm hoping she isn't a liberal who has been designed to accept the leftist side that Hollywood sells everyone.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: New Member

Thank you my friends for considering for your flock despite my physical condition. I am actually one of a set of quints that was given into state custody by my drug addicted mother.

To address some of your points, I am not a pimp, I am a lawyer for the prosecution for the great state of Iowa, but after my brothers and I re-found each other, I learned that my brother Tito was indeed a pimp. He is a disgrace as well as my brother Muhammad Ali Ak-Riba. He was adopted by people who wanted to exploit government benefits and didn't get a fine Christian education. In a lack of faith decided he would pick up the Koran and decided that Steve was an uncool name and renamed himself into something Islamic standing and has to apparently pray to the East because he is ignorant that Christ is the true Lord and not a "prophet."

My last church was the First Baptist Church of Dallas where my kids learned Godly lessons and not things like how to hide your IPad while pretending you're at a church. My last church experience in Landover has kept me so mad but now that I have been enlightened by the rest of my flock, I won't speak poorly about them because we are all God's children and God doesn't want us to speak so poorly about the deluded Idol heathens.

Proverbs 21:21 is one of my favorite Bible verses. I seriously worry about my physical condition but I was raised by a loving family. This proves to me that I won't be damned because I am both righteous and kind. I thank the Lord that missionaries go to Godforsaken parts of Africa in order to spread the word.

My wife Sarah, took a lot of slack for dating and marrying me due to my condition. We now have strange Brown haired blue eyed children but they have been raised to love the Lord.

I would love to get my children into counseling with the esteemed Pastors of this church. The recommendations that my insurance gave me all ended with people with last names ended with -stein Wow, they can't understand what a good Christian wants for their family. I scheduled them for an appointment with a woman named Smith and I'm hoping she isn't a liberal who has been designed to accept the leftist side that Hollywood sells everyone.

Moses regarded Jesus as a prophet. We know what Moses meant because Jesus explains:

John 5:46 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. KJV

What did Moses write? This:

Deuteronomy 18:13-15 Thou shalt be perfect with the LORD thy God. For these nations, which thou shalt possess, hearkened unto observers of times, and unto diviners: but as for thee, the LORD thy God hath not suffered thee so to do. The LORD thy God will raise up unto thee a Prophet from the midst of thee, of thy brethren, like unto me; unto him ye shall hearken; KJV

The Bible is clear then, Jesus is not just a prophet.

[Paul Cooper]

Re: New Member

I wasn't talking about Jesus, I know he is our one true savior I was talking about my brother's love of Muhammed. Man I hate that guy that's what he looks like to me. Jesus is true savior. I am so happy that I am blessed by him.

[James Hutchins]

Re: New Member

Welcome Paul, I do not recall you from the shine state at the Freehold Airport, did you just migrate over from nigerian?

I am sad to hear you are full of hate. Please do not shoot me because I am White man.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: New Member

Congratulations on wanting to repent of your nigra ways. It warms my heart to see someone wanting to be with Jesus instead of the servile race of Ham.

[Holly Graham]

Re: New Member

Hi Negro Paul,

I know that because I'm a white woman, you probably want to rape me, so I'll make this short!

Welcome to LBC. You seem like you might fit in well here, and you are quite articulate for a negro. I suppose your ancestors worked in "The Big House" as opposed to being in the fields. Too bad they had it easy, and you didn't get to join the Underground Railroad. I bet that makes you sad.

I hope you love Jesus as much as I do. My Godly husband, Mr. Graham (who is always very close and has instructed my boys in how to use a gun, just FYI), and I have 18 children of our own, and are expecting our 19th soon. We are hoping that God loves us more than Michelle Duggar, and gives us more kids than her.

Again, welcome! Keep quoting Scripture! It is the perfect Word of God.
(2 Timothy 3:16)

[Paul Cooper]

Re: New Member

Brother James, I was born in Texas, but that is mostly Mexican country by now. God Bless the border patrol, that state is getting overrun.

Reformed Papist, I maybe a nigral but I'm a bit weary of Catholics...that must have been tough for you man. Keep putting on the good fight. I hope you have truly reformed from your former ways and have come to see God through the correct Baptist way.

Congratulations Holly! The 19th child must truly be a blessing. I can understand your fears of me and they're not without founding.

My wife is a lovely white woman herself. I'm not sure why she chose to marry me, even I advised against it. However, we have produced two lovely children that can call out any racial group for their idiocy because they're mixed.

My ancestors actually were house slaves, lol! They were actually valued by their masters for being less negrodial looking than the other slaves, so their master's could actually eat dinner while they were around.

Speaking of guns, I love mine! I especially love gun shows. You can meet a great number of respectable Republican officials by attending them. I especially love the literature provided at such events. When they come to take my guns away, I know exactly how to hide in the woods and not be found.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: New Member

Where did this boy get a gun?

And doesn't it know what God thinks of race-mixers?