About me

[Anti Atheist]

I have joined this church because I was a sinner. I fornicated. I drank, did drugs, stole, swore, porn worship, ripped up bibles, pushed old ladies, gave wedgies to democrats, libtards and pagans, pissed in holy places, the list goes on and on.
I have since been saved, baptized at the temple of that godly Rush Limbaugh.
I now believe everything in the KJB literally and vote replubican. I now snicker at democrats and atheists knowing that the good lord filled me with his milk of love.
I no longer sin and come here looking for inspiration in fighting all that oppose the good lords teaching. May they burn in hell.
Favorite bible quote: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

[Basilissa]

Re: About me

I have joined this church because I was a sinner. I fornicated. I drank, did drugs, stole, swore, porn worship, ripped up bibles, pushed old ladies, gave wedgies to democrats, libtards and pagans, pissed in holy places, the list goes on and on.
I have since been saved, baptized at the temple of that godly Rush Limbaugh.
I now believe everything in the KJB literally and vote replubican. I now snicker at democrats and atheists knowing that the good lord filled me with his milk of love.
I no longer sin and come here looking for inspiration in fighting all that oppose the good lords teaching. May they burn in hell.
Favorite bible quote: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Welcome to our friendly forum

How did you find Jesus? What church do you go to?

Also, we usually try to actually quote the Bible, not paraphrase it freely. The quotation that you're looking for is either Matthew 7:12 or Luke 6:31.

[Didymus Much]

Re: About me

...Favorite bible quote: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

What if I'm a masochist?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: About me

What Church do you attend? Please tell us about yourself. What's your name? How old are you? How many son's have you produced for your husband?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: About me

What if I'm a masochist?

Then according to Jesus, it is perfectly alright to inflict pain on other people. Also, there is nothing wrong with rape as long as the perpetrator is sufficiently aroused. After all, a man who rapes a woman that he longs for is no hypocrite, as he would gladly receive her affection if it were offered to him.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: About me

Baptized at the temple of Rush Limbaugh? That doesn't sound at all like a Christian church to me. Enjoy burning in Hell with the rest of the idolators, buddy.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: About me

Baptized at the temple of Rush Limbaugh? That doesn't sound at all like a Christian church to me. Enjoy burning in Hell with the rest of the idolators, buddy.

I concur and share your concerns.

Rush may have some good traits (he was outspoken in his defense of Godly Jo Kony: he approved of his killing muzlims position and dedication to helping children into employment) but his wishy washy liberalism would leave Jesus turning in His grave.

This new guy needs to think about Jesus and the Bible more and left wing bleading heart over weight liberals less, I expect.

YIC

[Faith_Machine]

Re: About me

Agreed, Dr. Niles, but Limbaugh's dangerously moderate views are not the issue.

If this joker had told me he'd been baptized in the temple of Pastor Zeke himself, I'd be equally concerned. As would Pastor Zeke, who would probably sue the pants off anybody who dared put his name on a damned temple!