Hello Everyone!

[Converter]

I just joined and I'm hoping to get to know all of you well!
Sadly, I live in a town of mostly fags and mexicans, so it's nice to have a group of normal people to speak with.

Praise Christ!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Hello Everyone!

Why are you called converter? Do you convert AC to DC? Or do you keep swapping and choosing faiths?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Hello Everyone!

Dear friend:

Welcome to God's favorite discussion board. Please tell us more about yourself. What is your favorite verse from the King James Bible? Where do you attend church? How long have you been saved?

[Converter]

Re: Hello Everyone!

At Ezekiel: I suppose I should have made that clearer... I spend a good deal of time working to convert the people in my neighborhood, as most of them are either catholic or, God forbid, gay and religiously ambiguous.
My name could be better, I guess, but I'm not too good at making screen-names.

At Pastor Peters: I can't rightly say which is the best Bible verse, as in my eyes they are all the word of God and are equally significant. I'll admit I get a bit of amusement out of reading II Kings 2:23-24, though, simply because of the horrible youths' divine punishment. It's always wonderful to see a 100% concrete act of God.
I attend church at the Trabuco Canyon Baptist Church and I've been saved all my life.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Hello Everyone!

At Ezekiel: I suppose I should have made that clearer... I spend a good deal of time working to convert the people in my neighborhood, as most of them are either catholic or, God forbid, gay and religiously ambiguous.
My name could be better, I guess, but I'm not too good at making screen-names.

At Pastor Peters: I can't rightly say which is the best Bible verse, as in my eyes they are all the word of God and are equally significant. I'll admit I get a bit of amusement out of reading II Kings 2:23-24, though, simply because of the horrible youths' divine punishment. It's always wonderful to see a 100% concrete act of God.
I attend church at the Trabuco Canyon Baptist Church and I've been saved all my life.

Good to hear friend.

So tell us

Your favorite verse from the KJV1611?

How much you have contributed to John McCain?

Do you think Obama is a Muslim plant or a dangerous radical black liberal?

[Converter]

Re: Hello Everyone!

Hmmm... Well, Luke 4:4 stresses the importance of God taking prevalence in one's life- Something that seems to be disturbingly absent from many people's minds these days. I don't know how so many people can overlook verses like that.

While I'm sure there's more to be done as the elections heat up, I did convince a couple guys to vote for him over Obama. (And I can't be sure that he's a Muslim plant, but there's no question that he's a Negro radical.)

[Nobar King]

Re: Hello Everyone!

My name could be better, I guess, but I'm not too good at making screen-names.

This sounds like a call for help. I'm sure the good pastors will come up with something appropriate for you. They have a lot of experience with this.

[Converter]

Re: Hello Everyone!

It would be very appreciated.
Oh, and who likes my new avatar?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Hello Everyone!

It would be very appreciated.
Oh, and who likes my new avatar?

Nice choice, I am sure Jesus smiles when He thinks of it.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Hello Everyone!

It would be very appreciated.
Oh, and who likes my new avatar?

Nice to see that it's a GODLY plain cross and not a sinful cathlicker one with

Our sweet Lord Jesus

still hanging on it!

Now, to do something about that, um, name of yours, converter boy!

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Hello Everyone!

Greetings, Converter, and welcome to Landover Baptist Church. Please take a few moments to review the following list and unburden your household and person of any items you may own that are on it:

American Indian artifacts (dreamcatchers, etc.), carvings, pictures
East Indian items
Paisley pattern on anything
Items from other countries, especially Africa, China, Japan
Statues/pictures of false gods/goddesses (Buddha, Krishna, et al.)
Frogs, owls, hearts, unicorns, angels, dolphins, rainbows, dragons, horseshoes
Dolls and stuffed animals (dolls originated in voodoo)
Items of clothing named after pagan idols or gods/goddesses (e.g., Nike is a Greek goddess)
Pictures of movie stars/other celebrities
Some items passed down from ancestors (the ancestor may have been cursed)
Shamrocks, clovers or any kind of good luck charm
Any items used in witchcraft
The Book of Mormon
The Satanic Bible
Any "Christian" bible other than the English King James Version 1611 (KJV1611)
Books on other religions
Rock and roll music, jazz music, etc.
Flamingos, sundials, books/tapes from false (i.e., non-Deliverance) religions
Ankhs, astrological symbols, peace symbols, tikis, Italian horns (cornutos)
Stars, wishbones, incense, fleurs-de-lis

Thank you, and I hope your time with us is blessed.

[Converter]

Re: Hello Everyone!

Nike's a Greek goddess? Well good thing I wear NewBalance...
Anyways, I don't believe I own anything of those sorts.

I do own a couple of old family heirlooms (Family Bible, Cross, etc.), but my ancestors were True Christians™, I assure you. Must I give those away?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello Everyone!

I attend church at the Trabuco Canyon Baptist Church and I've been saved all my life.

Son, I don't see that Church listed in my True Christian™ Directory. Are you talking about El Toro Baptist? Don't toy with me now boy. Your DOF file will be here any day now. Better tell the truth now before Jesus.

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Hello Everyone!

Nike's a Greek goddess? Well good thing I wear NewBalance...
Anyways, I don't believe I own anything of those sorts.

I do own a couple of old family heirlooms (Family Bible, Cross, etc.), but my ancestors were True Christians™, I assure you. Must I give those away?

Those items should be all right. However, I suggest that you pray over them using the short Spiritual Warfare prayer in my signature.