Ex-Atheist scumbag

[Back ye heathen]

Greetings True Christians, I come before you as a ex-heathen and a sinner. The Lord decided, in his infinite wisdom to finally bitchslap me into reality after my years of murder, child abuse, drug addiction, alcoholism, shrimp eating, mixed fabric wearing, homosexual defending and thinking that human logic was above the Lord God's. I was so blind and defiant.

He died for our sins. Praise the Lord!

[Basilissa]

Re: Ex-Atheist scumbag

Greetings True Christians, I come before you as a ex-heathen and a sinner. The Lord decided, in his infinite wisdom to finally bitchslap me into reality after my years of murder, child abuse, drug addiction, alcoholism, shrimp eating, mixed fabric wearing, homosexual defending and thinking that human logic was above the Lord God's. I was so blind and defiant.

He died for our sins. Praise the Lord!

A cautious hello to you, too. When you have a chance, look over the directions for posting proper introduction on the top of this page. I'll be lenient and I'll give you 1 out of 4 points for your first post.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Ex-Atheist scumbag

Of all the things you've done, eating shrimp is the nastiest. Did you realize you are eating their fecal matter?



Where do you go to church, friend?

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Back ye heathen]

Re: Ex-Atheist scumbag

Of all the things you've done, eating shrimp is the nastiest. Did you realize you are eating their fecal matter?



Where do you go to church, friend?

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

I go to Lincoln Baptist Church of New Zealand.

[Basilissa]

Re: Ex-Atheist scumbag

I go to Lincoln Baptist Church of New Zealand.

I see, you cannot follow the directions hidden on top of this page, we have to pull each question from you separately.

So that was 2 out of 4.

You still haven't said what is your favorite Bible verse and how did you find Jesus.

[see_the_light]

Re: Ex-Atheist scumbag

Might as well present a very formal and reserved welcome.

Was expecting to find the required information for a presentation but maybe by tomorrow you might have finished.

PRAISE THE LORD!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Ex-Atheist scumbag

Greetings True Christians, I come before you as a ex-heathen and a sinner. The Lord decided, in his infinite wisdom to finally bitchslap me into reality after my years of murder, child abuse, drug addiction, alcoholism, shrimp eating, mixed fabric wearing, homosexual defending and thinking that human logic was above the Lord God's. I was so blind and defiant.

He died for our sins. Praise the Lord!

Please follow forum rules.

It's only polite.

YIC

[Back ye heathen]

Re: Ex-Atheist scumbag

My favourite Word of God Almighty would have to be:

"Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." - Psalm 30:4-5

After my years of depravity, I was drinking moonshine while driving my ride on lawnmower when a great light blinded me. A voice spoke to me saying that I was heading for the fires of hell. My mower suddenly sped up to tremendous speed, I was so scared I passed out. It must have been hours later when I awoke, high atop a mountain. Lying beside me was a bible and a wilderness survival kit, thank God's mercy!

For 3 days I had to travel through thick forest defending from wild Moa (3 metre high birds) and hypothermia. I finally came across a church where a man of God told me of Jesus.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Ex-Atheist scumbag

...For 3 days I had to travel through thick forest defending from wild Moa (3 metre high birds)...

Though they've been extinct for 600 years or more?

[Back ye heathen]

Re: Ex-Atheist scumbag

Though they've been extinct for 600 years or more?

No sir they recently discovered several groups of them. Perhaps the Lord God decided to bring them back. I used to be an evil atheist like you. I pray for you.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Ex-Atheist scumbag

A new popn of Moa Birds?

Where has this miracle happened.

Score one for spontaneous creation!

Jesus wins again!

YIC

[Back ye heathen]

Re: Ex-Atheist scumbag

A new popn of Moa Birds?

Where has this miracle happened.

Score one for spontaneous creation!

Jesus wins again!

YIC

They have appeared in forests around the country. There have been reports of atheists and muslims being found all slashed and pecked up. God works in mysterious ways.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Ex-Atheist scumbag

No sir they recently discovered several groups of them. Perhaps the Lord God decided to bring them back. I used to be an evil atheist like you. I pray for you.

So now they have internet access?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ex-Atheist scumbag

How many sheep have you buggered? And don't try and lie about it, because Jesus has been watching you each and every time you trap one in your "gumboots."

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Back ye heathen]

Re: Ex-Atheist scumbag

How many sheep have you buggered? And don't try and lie about it, because Jesus has been watching you each and every time you trap one in your "gumboots."

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

I must admit many sheep have passed my sinful lusts, 167 to be exact. I am not proud of what I did and have vowed to stone the same number of homosexuals, adulterers, shrimp eaters and burn any Wiccan I find. Perhaps the Lord will be merciful and forgive me but if not I deserve all I get.

Praise Him.