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I am here to observe
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Re: "Introduction"
Well, you're not doing a very good job so far.
Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.
If you're going to observe, you need to read. Unless you're blind.1 John 2:22 Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son.
23:Whosoever denieth the Son, the same hath not the Father: he that acknowledgeth the Son hath the Father also. -
Re: "Introduction"
I really didn't think it would be relevant, considering how I am a nihilist. There is no church of nihilism. I don't have a favorite bible verse and I don't yet know Jesus; that's why I'm here. Show me the value in what you people believe, and maybe that will all change. Or not. That's your call.Comment
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Re: "Introduction"
Maybe it wasn't the worst introduction ever, but you're pretty close.Originally posted by Kachina View Post
Well, if you really want to learn, then just sit quietly and read the Bible, and all of our threads here. If you have questions which have not been answered yet, please do.Originally posted by Kachina View PostGod created fossils to test our faith.
* * *
My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.Comment
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Re: "Introduction"
With (coming up on) 1.1 MILLION posts on this forum, I'd be amazed.Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
And as any student of the Prime Directive (or Schrödinger) knows, interaction negates observation.
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Re: "Introduction"
Terrific.Originally posted by Kachina View Post
Why did you feel the need to announce it? Obviously, you are going to ignore our pleads to become Saved(c) and most likely, all efforts will be poorly rebuked by some half baked psych 101 comment (they always are, no offense)Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
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Re: "Introduction"
I was personally instructed to make an introduction post, and I did. I made the simplest, most straightforward post I possibly could. I don't know what else you want from me.Comment
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Re: "Introduction"
Well, generally we like to know what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Since you hate all that is decent and moral, I guess you might as well let us know what church failed you, which Bible verse makes you feel most guilty, and why you rejected the temporary sacrifice ofOriginally posted by Kachina View Post
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Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: "Introduction"
Baloney.Originally posted by Kachina View Post
Your very first post here was a feeble attempt to tell us about the Bible, a book you are evidently utterly unfamiliar with.
Yours in Christ,
Z. SmythsigpicComment
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Re: "Introduction"
No, you're not.Originally posted by Kachina View Post
You were either sent here by Jesus, or you were sent here by satan. You can try and hide, but sooner or later, the truth will out.
If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.
If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.
You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.
Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: "Introduction"
If you were happy to observe, you'd merely lurk and not sign up.Comment
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Re: "Introduction"
I'd keep an eye on this one Pastor - "Kachina" is one of those voodoo injun religions. They make things called "Kachina Dolls" and stick pins in them. That's one of the reasons we put them all on reservations.Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View PostNo, you're not.
You were either sent here by Jesus, or you were sent here by satan. You can try and hide, but sooner or later, the truth will out.
...Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawnsigpicComment
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Re: "Introduction"
Don't worry, my dearest darling brothers in Christ. The good lord is working his magic on me as we speak.Comment
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Re: "Introduction"
God doesn't deal in "magick" my friend.Originally posted by Kachina View Post
(Revelation 18:23) "And the light of a candle shall shine no more at all in thee; and the voice of the bridegroom and of the bride shall be heard no more at all in thee: for thy merchants were the great men of the earth; for by thy sorceries were all nations deceived."
Yours in Christ (NOT HARRY JOO-DINI),
Z. SmythsigpicComment
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Re: "Introduction"
I call shenanigans or poor educationOriginally posted by Kachina View Post
If you really were a nihilist you would not care about our beliefs.
The very fact that you are here indicates you are not a nihilist and either a liar or uneducated. If you are simply uneducated please stick around!
Matthew 6:25 "Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?"
Being uneducated or ignorant of the actual meaning of words is no bar to Christianity.
But if you are a liar you will be cast into the Lake of Fire
Revelation 21:8 "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."
God bless.1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.Comment
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