[Didymus Much]

Re: Finally Saved!!!

...we got married. I'm still a virgin.

...I was a virgin then and I still am now. My husband is not homer. I've done nothing sexual with anyone.

His name's not Gerlinde, by any chance?

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Finally Saved!!!

I was saying that I was a virgin then and I still am now. My husband is not homer. I've done nothing sexual with anyone.

Then, what is wrong with you, if your married husband thinks you are disgusting? And why did he marry you? Did you fool him someway?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Finally Saved!!!

Welcome to God's favorite forum!

I was saying that I was a virgin then and I still am now. My husband is not homer. I've done nothing sexual with anyone.

A lot of people who have had a proper Christian upbringing have no clue that sex, while horrible, is also useful. I made this for people like you: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

[see_the_light]

Re: Finally Saved!!!

I was saying that I was a virgin then and I still am now. My husband is not homer. I've done nothing sexual with anyone.

Try reading Luke 13:6-8

He spake also this parable; A certain man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard; and he came and sought fruit thereon, and found none.
Then said he unto the dresser of his vineyard, Behold, these three years I come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and find none: cut it down; ...

If no fruit rises from under the fig leaf, might as well cut it down.

PRAISE THE LORD!

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Finally Saved!!!

My husband is not homer.

How do you know?
Does he use whores?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Finally Saved!!!

I was saying that I was a virgin then and I still am now. My husband is not homer. I've done nothing sexual with anyone.

Are you homely? Have you tried a new hair style and a little color on your cheeks?

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: Finally Saved!!!

Are you sure you're 23 as per your profile? Or are you really 14?

[Miracle Hope]

Re: Finally Saved!!!

To Cranky Old Man: thanks for the advice. My husband ( well, he will be when we get Godly married next week ) enjoys it.
To Mary: I have a lovely hair style. I got it as a surprise for my partner(Johnnie). It's very layered and different. He loves it. I'm very pale as I don't get out much. But Johnnie doesn't mind.
To everyone else: I am 23. He is not homer. I'm a virgin. So calm down everyone.

[Des]

Re: Finally Saved!!!

Why any Christian male would refuse to consummate a marriage could only be a couple of things. Either he's a fanny bandit, or else you are ugly as sin and he can't stomach being face to face with you for the 4 minutes it would take.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Finally Saved!!!

Why any Christian male would refuse to consummate a marriage could only be a couple of things. Either he's a fanny bandit, or else you are ugly as sin and he can't stomach being face to face with you for the 4 minutes it would take.

I've heard of some men who get so drunk that they black out for days and weeks at a time. Perhaps this one is on a bender, which would explain the beer-goggles and why he hasn't wretched on her (can't focus long enough to really take in her hideousness).

Hope dear, you might want to follow him around until he passes out in the gutter or bar bathroom stall. He'll have a raging hangover, but you'll still be married. Maybe before he sobers up and his sight is restored completely, you can consummate the marriage and finally be with child.

[Freddy Osborne]

Re: Finally Saved!!!

The Lord will provides for even his less 'desirable' children.

Hebrews 4:16. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

[Basilissa]

Re: Finally Saved!!!

To Cranky Old Man: thanks for the advice. My husband ( well, he will be when we get Godly married next week ) enjoys it.
To Mary: I have a lovely hair style. I got it as a surprise for my partner(Johnnie). It's very layered and different. He loves it. I'm very pale as I don't get out much. But Johnnie doesn't mind.
To everyone else: I am 23. He is not homer. I'm a virgin. So calm down everyone.

Yup, you married a homo. A manly man would never ever call himself "Johnnie." There's no hope for the two of you, unless God performs a miracle.

[Miracle Hope]

Re: Finally Saved!!!

Yup, you married a homo. A manly man would never ever call himself "Johnnie." There's no hope for the two of you, unless God performs a miracle.

His parents named him that.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Finally Saved!!!

His parents named him that.

Dear Hope,

When we take the Holy KJV seriously, we have to understand that we are not only responsible for out own sins but also burdened by those our forefathers committed. This goes back to the 10th generation (Deuteronomy 23:2). The choices we make affect not only us and our immediate offspring but also future generations (probably there won't be too many in the future with RAPTURE approaching). Thus, the choices your in-laws made when naming their child with a homer name remain within the offspring unless He repents and accepts SALVATION.




It is the habit of the fallen world to accuse others and try to avoid personal responsibility. God does not accept that. You are what the choices of former generations decided. Instead of opposing and rationalizing you could try (at least try) for more humility, prayer, fasting (Daniel 10:3) and opening your heart to JESUS.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Basilissa]

Re: Finally Saved!!!

Dear Hope,

When we take the Holy KJV seriously, we have to understand that we are not only responsible for out own sins but also burdened by those our forefathers committed. This goes back to the 10th generation (Deuteronomy 23:2). The choices we make affect not only us and our immediate offspring but also future generations (probably there won't be too many in the future with RAPTURE approaching). Thus, the choices your in-laws made when naming their child with a homer name remain within the offspring unless He repents and accepts SALVATION.

Amen to that. Parents should be very careful when choosing a name for their son. I've met one time a guy whose last name is Walker. His parents named him John (I guess it explains what they were drinking at the time). He's an archaeologist now, and everybody knows that archaeologists are drunkards.