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  • Greetings to all!

    Hello dear users,
    My name, of course, is Lancefield, one of the many new members to this glorious site. I am so thankful to finally find a community so accepting and so supportive in the name if The Lord. So many atheist running around these days thinking that 'evolution' is the true history. The thought of how at one point in time we were apparently 'filthy apes' sickens me to my stomach. Anyway, I am an Australian who wants nothing more than to spread the good word of God. A while back I was so naive and arrogant, I thought of our God as nothing but a fairy tale. I was involved with gang crime (this country is crawling with gang crime). To top it all of, I thought I was homosexual! For 6 six, I lived like this, blinded by arrogance and stupidity. However, one day, an angel sent from God opened my eyes. As you may be aware, my saviour and best friend Corrick has recently joined these forums. I came across him one day, and ever since then he's guided me on my path to The Lord. He showed me the true side of life, and for that, I could never repay him more! Now I live happily with my wife, who I obidiently keep in line. I work for the Belair Church, however, I never stay in one location. I'm travelling all around Australia, enlightening elementary school kids in the name of The Lord, teaching them the right ways. I hope I get to know many wonderful people on this site, I would love to meet some of you!

  • #2
    Re: Greetings to all!

    I'm so happy that you decided to take my advice and join this wondrous website! You'll find everyone here quite friendly!

    It's the perfect place to discuss the Bible and the Lord, amongst friends!

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Greetings to all!

      Welcome Lancfield An ex-poofter. Well done Sir. Tell me, how many sons have you sired?
      sigpic

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Greetings to all!

        Originally posted by Jim Farmer View Post
        Welcome Lancfield An ex-poofter. Well done Sir. Tell me, how many sons have you sired?
        Glad to make your acquaintance Jim!
        I have sired 2 children with my wife, and I teach them in the way of The Lord. We are planning on siring another child in the near future!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Greetings to all!

          You three fellas seem to be getting on well: why not start a group here?

          YIC
          1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

          Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

          Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Greetings to all!

            Well, friends who pray together glorify the LORD together! We have many ex-gays here with whom you can fellowship! Welcome to our forums!
            Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Greetings to all!

              Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
              Well, friends who pray together glorify the LORD together! We have many ex-gays here with whom you can fellowship! Welcome to our forums!
              Thank you for the warm welcome! So far I feel right a home on this site!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Greetings to all!

                Originally posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
                You three fellas seem to be getting on well: why not start a group here?

                YIC
                I thank you for the suggestion, but I feel it'll more suitable for me to experience these forums a little more before I decided to form a group. Again, thank you kindly for the suggestion!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Greetings to all!

                  What's your favourite material for the gloves used to punch queers?

                  Personally I prefer leather with ground glass on the knuckles. Makes them have rainbow eyes. So ironic.
                  sigpic
                  Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                  John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                  Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                  The truth about volcanos
                  Sex and debauchery in public schools
                  Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                  God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                  Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Greetings to all!

                    Originally posted by Lancefield View Post
                    Hello dear users,
                    My name, of course, is Lancefield, one of the many new members to this glorious site. I am so thankful to finally find a community so accepting and so supportive in the name if The Lord. So many atheist running around these days thinking that 'evolution' is the true history. The thought of how at one point in time we were apparently 'filthy apes' sickens me to my stomach. Anyway, I am an Australian who wants nothing more than to spread the good word of God. A while back I was so naive and arrogant, I thought of our God as nothing but a fairy tale. I was involved with gang crime (this country is crawling with gang crime). To top it all of, I thought I was homosexual! For 6 six, I lived like this, blinded by arrogance and stupidity. However, one day, an angel sent from God opened my eyes. As you may be aware, my saviour and best friend Corrick has recently joined these forums. I came across him one day, and ever since then he's guided me on my path to The Lord. He showed me the true side of life, and for that, I could never repay him more! Now I live happily with my wife, who I obidiently keep in line. I work for the Belair Church, however, I never stay in one location. I'm travelling all around Australia, enlightening elementary school kids in the name of The Lord, teaching them the right ways. I hope I get to know many wonderful people on this site, I would love to meet some of you!
                    Australia, huh? So, are you ready to stop wandering the outback enticing feral marsupials to lick peanut butter from your scrotum, and devote yourself to a more Godly lifestyle? I'll be praying for your recovery...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Greetings to all!

                      Originally posted by Witch Hammer View Post
                      Australia, huh? So, are you ready to stop wandering the outback enticing feral marsupials to lick peanut butter from your scrotum, and devote yourself to a more Godly lifestyle? I'll be praying for your recovery...
                      I have already abandoned that disgusting way of life, and have recovered fully. Even though I cannot say that I hate Australia like most other members on these forums, I am very disappointed on how this country has fallen into the hands of the devil. It is my home country; I cannot hate it, if you understand what I mean!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Greetings to all!

                        Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
                        What's your favourite material for the gloves used to punch queers?

                        Personally I prefer leather with ground glass on the knuckles. Makes them have rainbow eyes. So ironic.
                        I prefer to use Leather. Most gay people when having sex wear gimps suits made out of tight leather. I find method ironic as well!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Greetings to all!

                          Originally posted by Lancefield View Post
                          As you may be aware, my saviour and best friend Corrick has recently joined these forums.
                          I have no idea who this Corrick is, but has he ever survived being nailed to a cross?

                          And by "survived," I mean died and been resurrected.

                          What about casting out demons?

                          Can he do that?

                          How 'bout flipping tables and driving money lenders out of a temple with a whip?

                          That last one's easy. Heck, even I could probably do that last one.

                          But has your "savior" done any of the above?

                          Mine has done all those things, and more.
                          WARNING:
                          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Greetings to all!

                            Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                            I have no idea who this Corrick is, but has he ever survived being nailed to a cross?

                            And by "survived," I mean died and been resurrected.

                            What about casting out demons?

                            Can he do that?

                            How 'bout flipping tables and driving money lenders out of a temple with a whip?

                            That last one's easy. Heck, even I could probably do that last one.

                            But has your "savior" done any of the above?



                            Mine has done all those things, and more.

                            I do not personally claim to be anyones saviour, I am merely a humble servant to the Lord, as you can see, I'm not worthy to be more than Unsaved Trash, I would think that after all the time I spent converting Lancefield, he would understand that there is only one Saviour, but perchance the fault is mine. I will certainly pray for forgiveness of this blunder, and I am sure Lancefield will do the same.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Greetings to all!

                              Now that's what I like to hear: Humility and obedience!

                              WARNING:
                              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                              Comment

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