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You will have noted that in the New Testament teeth get gnashed and not much else. It is a well-known Biblical fact that if you were around at the time of Jesus, you were pretty much assured of having a good set of teeth. Jesus never went to a dentist and Jesus did no “tooth” miracles.
This does not mean that God is a little light on teeth. If He can raise the dead, cure leprosy, and madness, teeth are nothing to Him.
We see that God has given His enemies bad teeth. In the Old Testament, there is
“Psalms:3:7: Arise, O LORD; save me, O my God: for thou hast smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly.”
We see that God warns us that our enemies have sharp teeth
Proverb:30:14: There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.
We see that God recognizes toothache and sensitive teeth.
Jer:31:29: In those days they shall say no more, The fathers have eaten a sour grape, and the children's teeth are set on edge.
Jer:31:30: But every one shall die for his own iniquity: every man that eateth the sour grape, his teeth shall be set on edge.
We see that God shows His Power by giving people toothache
La:3:16: He hath also broken my teeth with gravel stones, he hath covered me with ashes.
God did go into dentistry, but it was not a success:
Am:4:6: And I also have given you cleanness of teeth in all your cities, and want of bread in all your places: yet have ye not returned unto me, saith the LORD.
However, if there is one thing that God is good at, it is forgiving. Thousands of years have passed since those Words were recorded by Amos and, having prayed last night, God has told me that He is again willing to give Dentistry a chance. And this is good news!
Landover now has an unbeatable dentistry plan. Here’s how it pans out:
Cherubim Plan - $50 per month – Landover Prayer Warriors (LPW) include you on a list of names with tooth problems: At times of need, LPWs will say powerful prayers, specially written by Pastor Zeke himself, for at least an hour a day for up to 7 days in any one calendar month. Coverage inside the contiguous US.
Angel Plan - $85 per month – As above but includes the family and up to 14 days in any one calendar month. You are also allowed 2 special, dedicated, individual prayers per year for you or your loved ones. Also includes coverage of the whole of the US.
Archangel Plan - $106 per month. - As above but includes focused prayers for orthodontics, wisdom teeth, all emergencies, gum disease and prayers for the successful outcome of a filling, crown or cap. Also includes Canada, Mexico, The Bahamas and most of South America (Not Venezuela.)
Deity Plan - $240 per month – As above but all prayers are led by Pastor Zeke (or in his absence a Senior Pastor), 24/7 callout for LPWs, includes all non-Christian countries. One performance Of Handel’s Messiah by Landover Baptist Church Choir. Also includes prayers for dental implants.
This does not mean that God is a little light on teeth. If He can raise the dead, cure leprosy, and madness, teeth are nothing to Him.
We see that God has given His enemies bad teeth. In the Old Testament, there is
“Psalms:3:7: Arise, O LORD; save me, O my God: for thou hast smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly.”
We see that God warns us that our enemies have sharp teeth
Proverb:30:14: There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.
We see that God recognizes toothache and sensitive teeth.
Jer:31:29: In those days they shall say no more, The fathers have eaten a sour grape, and the children's teeth are set on edge.
Jer:31:30: But every one shall die for his own iniquity: every man that eateth the sour grape, his teeth shall be set on edge.
We see that God shows His Power by giving people toothache
La:3:16: He hath also broken my teeth with gravel stones, he hath covered me with ashes.
God did go into dentistry, but it was not a success:
Am:4:6: And I also have given you cleanness of teeth in all your cities, and want of bread in all your places: yet have ye not returned unto me, saith the LORD.
However, if there is one thing that God is good at, it is forgiving. Thousands of years have passed since those Words were recorded by Amos and, having prayed last night, God has told me that He is again willing to give Dentistry a chance. And this is good news!
Landover now has an unbeatable dentistry plan. Here’s how it pans out:
Cherubim Plan - $50 per month – Landover Prayer Warriors (LPW) include you on a list of names with tooth problems: At times of need, LPWs will say powerful prayers, specially written by Pastor Zeke himself, for at least an hour a day for up to 7 days in any one calendar month. Coverage inside the contiguous US.
Angel Plan - $85 per month – As above but includes the family and up to 14 days in any one calendar month. You are also allowed 2 special, dedicated, individual prayers per year for you or your loved ones. Also includes coverage of the whole of the US.
Archangel Plan - $106 per month. - As above but includes focused prayers for orthodontics, wisdom teeth, all emergencies, gum disease and prayers for the successful outcome of a filling, crown or cap. Also includes Canada, Mexico, The Bahamas and most of South America (Not Venezuela.)
Deity Plan - $240 per month – As above but all prayers are led by Pastor Zeke (or in his absence a Senior Pastor), 24/7 callout for LPWs, includes all non-Christian countries. One performance Of Handel’s Messiah by Landover Baptist Church Choir. Also includes prayers for dental implants.
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