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  • God’s Curse, The Woman and the Chinese Accent

    There are objectors who come here and accuse Landover of racism and/or intolerance merely because we assert, as is absolutely True, that the congregation of God’s favourite church are blessed above other men. They claim that a Godly curse of being a dwarf, black, or having something else wrong with you is “normal” or, at least, not The Mark of Cain. Ironically enough, if offered the same condition, they would turn it down.

    Different Languages (see the Incident at Babel in Genesis 11:1-9) are a curse and here is an example of God’s Work in the world. I don’t know what the woman did, but I suspect it was adultery and fornication (she has 2 step-daughters.) If you don’t think it is a curse, go round for a day speaking like a Slant and see what happens.


    West Country accent goes east after migraine attack

    Friends say Sarah Colwill, who has foreign accent syndrome after brain damage caused by headache, now sounds Chinese


    Friends say Sarah Colwill, who has foreign accent syndrome after brain damage caused by headache, now sounds Chinese

    A woman who suffers chronic migraines was struck with such a severe attack that it apparently left her speaking with a far eastern accent.

    Sarah Colwill, 35, lives in Devon and spoke with a West Country drawl until the acute migraine inflicted a form of brain damage.

    The headache was so painful she dialled 999 and paramedics who treated her commented that her voice sounded Chinese.

    Colwill, an IT project co-ordinator, was taken to hospital, where doctors diagnosed her with foreign accent syndrome (FAS), a rare condition that damages the part of the brain which controls speech and the way words are formed. There are only a few recorded cases in the world.

    Colwill is undergoing speech therapy to try to revert to her West Country accent. She said: "I have never been to China. It is very frustrating and I just want my own voice back but I don't know if I ever will.

    "I moved to Plymouth when I was 18 months old so I have always spoken like a local. But following one attack an ambulance crew arrived and they said I definitely sounded Chinese.

    "I spoke to my stepdaughter on the phone from hospital and she didn't recognise who I was. She said I sounded Chinese. Since then I have had my friends hanging up on me because they think I'm a hoax caller.

    "I speak in a much higher tone now, my voice is all squeaky. I'm having speech therapy but I don't know if the Chinese accent is ever going to go away."

    Colwill, who has two stepdaughters, has suffered severe headaches for a decade but was diagnosed with rare sporadic hemiplegic migraines earlier this year. The condition causes blood vessels in the brain to expand, resulting in stroke-like symptoms such as paralysis down one side of the body.

    The effects normally last for around seven days but Colwill suffered several migraine attacks at once, culminating in an excruciating attack on 20 March which caused the brain damage.

    Colwill, who lives with her husband Patrick in Plymouth, added: "The first few weeks of the accent was quite funny but to think I am stuck with this Chinese accent is getting me down. My voice has started to annoy me now. It is not my voice."

    Sarah has been contacted by Prof John Coleman, a phonetics expert who wants to study her. He conducts research into FAS and said it was a "complex" condition that causes the voice to change its intonation and emphasis.

    He added that the disorder is thought to be caused by strokes and brain injuries but the condition is so rare there is limited research into why it happens.

    "FAS is extremely diverse, and is almost certainly not caused by one thing," he said. "It is not a well-defined medical phenomenon and therefore not the kind of problem that there are any easy generalisations about."

    Experts believe there are less than 20 people in the world suffering from FAS, including a Scottish woman who in 1997 developed a South African accent. Other cases include a 46-year-old American who began speaking in a French accent following a car crash, a British man sounding Mexican, a Norwegian developing a German accent, and a Portuguese man sounding Chinese.
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    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

  • #2
    Re: God’s Curse, The Woman and the Chinese Accent

    That is actually pretty interesting.... I feel bad for her though, I mean, I can only imagine how tough that must be.
    1 Timothy 2:11-15
    Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing.

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    • #3
      Re: God’s Curse, The Woman and the Chinese Accent

      Meh! She shouldn't have sinned. It proves, of course that, if you speak with a foreign accent, you are cursed by God and are a lesser person for it. This is true for anyone who isn't normal, i.e. has an affliction.
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      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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      • #4
        Re: God’s Curse, The Woman and the Chinese Accent

        May I ask what accent is the correct answer? I mean, even america has different dialects.
        1 Timothy 2:11-15
        Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing.

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        • #5
          Re: God’s Curse, The Woman and the Chinese Accent

          Originally posted by Nolitafaerietale View Post
          May I ask what accent is the correct answer? I mean, even america has different dialects.
          With regard to the US, I believe a strong southern accent is indicative of Godliness, and is quite possibly the accent Jesus used to think His thoughts in when on earth. Now that He's in Heaven, He will be able to speak southern-accented English freely, as He is no longer confined to only thinking English thoughts with said accent.

          You see, when Jesus was on earth, He would have had to translate all His thoughts from English to Hebrew or Aramaic or some other unGodly nonsense, so that the Jooz could understand Him when He spoke to them. How He suffered!
          True Christians are Perfect!

          Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

          Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

          For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

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          • #6
            Re: God’s Curse, The Woman and the Chinese Accent

            In that case, god must love me. I'm texas raised with the accent to boot.
            1 Timothy 2:11-15
            Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: God’s Curse, The Woman and the Chinese Accent

              Colwill, who has two stepdaughters, has suffered severe headaches for a decade but was diagnosed with rare sporadic hemiplegic migraines earlier this year.
              I think God is punishing her for marrying a divorced man. Also, maybe for being British. Either way, she must've really angered the Lord for Him to dole out such a punishment onto her. I can't think of anything worse than sounding like a chink. They don't even sound human. It's like the sound of a songbird chirping mixed with someone dropping a bunch of pots and pans in a kitchen, or something.

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