New Zealand President Nearly Eaten by Abo Cannibals

[Pastor Ezekiel]

I sure don't claim to understand foreign politics, but THIS situation seems like it was a close call. I hate to see a White man eaten by knuckle-dragging savages, even if he is a damned foreigner.

New Zealand PM roasted over cannibalism joke

New Zealand Prime Minister John Key found himself in hot water Thursday after joking about an indigenous tribe eating him for dinner.

Key has been at loggerheads with a Maori tribe, the Tuhoe, over negotiations to settle their grievances over land confiscations by European settlers in the 19th century.

During a speech to a tourism conference Thursday, Key joked about having dinner with the neighbouring Ngati Porou tribe, or iwi.

"The good news is that I was having dinner with Ngati Porou as opposed to their neighbouring iwi which is Tuhoe, in which case I would have been dinner, which wouldn't have been quite so attractive," Key said.

A settlement negotiator with the Tuhoe tribe, Tamati Kruger, told Radio New Zealand the joke was in poor taste.

"I'm just astounded that the prime minister can make light of what we regard as a very, very serious situation (over the negotiations)," Kruger said.

"I don't think it's becoming at all of a prime minister."

An MP for the Maori Party, which supports Key's government and has two leaders serving as government ministers, said the joke was unfortunate.

"Well the first thing to say is, it's probably correct, and the second thing is (it's) probably not wise in the current climate," said Te Ururoa Flavell.

Cannibalism remains a sensitive subject in New Zealand, where Maori warriors sometimes eat their defeated enemies...

*Note to self: Cancel Mission trip to New Zealand.

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: New Zealand President Nearly Eaten by Abo Cannibals

*Note to self: Cancel Mission trip to New Zealand.

A wise decision, Pastor. The Maoris love American meat more than any other, especially your brand of clean-living, well-exercised American meat. Maori gangs (known as "iwi") congregate at international airports: the moment you had stepped onto the tarmac they would have clubbed you over the head, bunged you into a burger and used your fingers as a side order of fries.

[handmaiden]

Re: New Zealand President Nearly Eaten by Abo Cannibals

Honestly, it's the 21 st century.

Have they learned nothing about the dangers of cholesterol ?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: New Zealand President Nearly Eaten by Abo Cannibals

It's amazing how every time you think New Zealand hits rock bottom they find a way to sink even deeper.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: New Zealand President Nearly Eaten by Abo Cannibals

What’s the Abos’ problem? Have they never read the Bible? (That’s a rhetorical question, the Abo brain is incapable of learning to read.)

Gal. 4:16: Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/maori/news...ectid=10462390

Pre-European Maori practised cannibalism but not to consume a dead enemy's mana, says a historian and author.

Professor Paul Moon, who is writing a book on cannibalism, believes the practice had more to do with what he calls "post-battle rage".

In his inaugural address as a professor at Auckland University of Technology he said some believe cannibalism never took place in New Zealand.

They put the eye-witness accounts by early Europeans down to an attempt to justify atrocities carried out.

But if this were true all the whalers, traders, missionaries, settlers and others who came here would have been part of a big conspiracy.

A combination of eye witness accounts, tribal oral histories and archaeological evidence, in which human bones sometimes turn up in middens along with fish and bird bones and other remnants of meals, all leave no doubt in his mind cannibalism took place.

Of course, cannibalism is not necessarily a bad thing but God does lay down sensible rules to be followed before you kill and eat your children or wife.

"And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat." -- Leviticus 26:29

"And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters." -- Deuteronomy 28:53

"And toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them." -- Deuteronomy 28:57

"Through the wrath of the LORD of hosts is the land darkened, and the people shall be as the fuel of the fire: no man shall spare his brother. And he shall snatch on the right hand, and be hungry; and he shall eat on the left hand, and they shall not be satisfied: they shall eat every man the flesh of his own arm." -- Isaiah 9:19-20

"And I will feed them that oppress thee with their own flesh; and they shall be drunken with their own blood, as with sweet wine." -- Isaiah 49:26

"And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend." -- Jeremiah 19:9

"Therefore the fathers shall eat the sons in the midst of thee, and the sons shall eat their fathers." -- Ezekiel 5:10

"I will not feed you: that that dieth, let it die; and that that is to be cut off, let it be cut off; and let the rest eat every one the flesh of another." -- Zechariah 11:9

And, indeed mentions such recipes as:

"This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him to day, and we will eat my son to morrow. So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him." 2 Kings 6:28-29

"The hands of the pitiful women have sodden their own children: they were their meat." -- Lamentations 4:10

"Who pluck off their skin from off them, and their flesh from off their bones; Who also eat the flesh of my people, and flay their skin from off them; and they break their bones, and chop them in pieces, as for the pot, and as flesh within the caldron." -- Micah 3:2-3

"Heap on wood, kindle the fire, consume the flesh, and spice it well, and let the bones be burned. Then set it empty upon the coals thereof, that the brass of it may be hot, and may burn, and that the filthiness of it may be molten in it, that the scum of it may be consumed. She hath wearied herself with lies, and her great scum went not forth out of her: her scum shall be in the fire. -- Ezekiel 24:10-12

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Re: New Zealand President Nearly Eaten by Abo Cannibals

Honestly, it's the 21 st century.

Have they learned nothing about the dangers of cholesterol ?

If you are insinuating Pastor Ezekiel is anything other than 100% blessed nutrition you are sadly mistaken. Not that anyone should consume him, but if they did, he could in no way be tainted or unhealthful.

I note the gist of the Scripture regarding cannibalism is that the practice is a curse from God, presumably for excessive sinfulness. This implies the Maori sensitivity to the topic probably stems from them being aware they are an accursed race, and not that they as a result crave human flesh.

[Nobar King]

Re: New Zealand President Nearly Eaten by Abo Cannibals

Is roasting the preferred way to cook human meat?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: New Zealand President Nearly Eaten by Abo Cannibals

Boiled Micah 3:2-3

[Dirk]

Re: New Zealand President Nearly Eaten by Abo Cannibals

This is an obamination

[handmaiden]

Re: New Zealand President Nearly Eaten by Abo Cannibals

If you are insinuating Pastor Ezekiel is anything other than 100% blessed nutrition you are sadly mistaken. Not that anyone should consume him, but if they did, he could in no way be tainted or unhealthful.

Oh, no, no! Pastor Zeke would make a tasty treat!


It's those other stringy,liberal politicians that are nothing but skin (which is the unhealthy part) and putrid, poison-for-marrow bones, that I wouldn't trust anywhere close to my gut! Don't ever try to boil one down for Liberal Soup, unless you're looking for something to kill boll weavils.


Lip Smackingly Yours,

Handmaiden