Upsurge in Perversions Plague Godless U.K.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Stories like THIS one make me scratch my head and wonder just what satan is playing at these days. England has long been shunned by Jesus for a long list of reasons, but this latest spurt of fornicators with inanimate objects just throws me for a loop.

Man arrested for 'having sex with lamp-post'

A 32-year-old man has been arrested in Wiltshire for allegedly simulating a sex act with a lamp-post.

The incident is the latest in a spate of bizarre sex crimes involving inanimate objects.

A police spokesman said officers were called to a road in the town of Westbury on February 16 after they received a report of a man acting indecently outside a block of flats "occupied by several young women".

When they arrived they arrested him on suspicion of outraging public decency.

The man was released on bail, but following an investigation into the incident and several interviews with witnesses - including children - he was recalled for questioning. He has since been re-released pending further inquiries.

The Wiltshire police spokesman said: "We are awaiting a decision as to whether there should be a prosecution".

The incident echoes a similar case last week when a Polish contractor was caught on his knees with a vacuum cleaner in a hospital staff canteen.

A security guard walked in on the man in the middle of a compromising act with the Henry Hoover appliance. He later claimed he was cleaning his underpants. He has now been fired.

Last year, Robert Stewart was placed on probation for three years after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

The 51-year-old was naked from the waist down when two cleaners walked in on him at the Aberley House Hostel in south west Scotland.

He paused only to ask, "What is it, hen?", before continuing to "move his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex".

In 1993, Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs.

I'm not sure what that last sentence translates into in American (God's favorite language), but I'm sure it's some vile degeneracy.

Is it any wonder that God hates England?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Upsurge in Perversions Plague Godless U.K.

What the heck is wrong with those Islanders? If they are not having sex with pavements or bikes they are fornicating with lampposts.

I know the KJV - Leviticus - doesn't talk about "he who lies with lampposts as he lies with a woman" - I presume he was standing anyway - but this makes Baby Jesus cry on his new shoes.

What's next? Sex with snooker tables? Dartboards? Curling discs? Cricket bats? Sex in orderly queues? Sex with Captain Hook? The Queen mum?

Makes me want to throw up, that's what!

[Wide-Open]

Re: Upsurge in Perversions Plague Godless U.K.

Follow up: what do you expect from a country where the public TV station is really into blasphemy?

Just as no one will ever produce proof for the existence of God, the question of Jesus's colour may always be a matter for personal belief.
Was he white, white-ish, olive-skinned, swarthy, dark-skinned or black? There are people who believe he was any one of those shades, but there seem to be only two things about the debate that can be said with any degree of certainty.

First - if the past 2,000 years of Western art were the judge, Jesus would be white, handsome, probably with long hair and an ethereal glow. Second - it can almost certainly be said that Jesus would not have been white. His hair was also probably cut short.

I think it's time to put a few Joo lawyers on their case. This is slander and gossip. Sometimes I wonder if I hate the Brits more than I dislike the French.

Olive skinned. Sheesh, next thing they'll say is that Jesus was slant-eyed.

I'll stop now for my afternoon prayers. My bloodpressure...

[Nobar King]

Re: Upsurge in Perversions Plague Godless U.K.

Things are always worse than they seem:

'Pervert' strangled music teacher

Graham Coutts murdered Jane Longhurst in March 2003

A man who had a "perverted interest" in strangled women has been found guilty of murdering a teacher in Sussex.

Graham Coutts, 39, of Waterloo Street, Hove, strangled Jane Longhurst with a pair of tights before keeping her body in a storage unit for a sexual thrill.

The body of Ms Longhurst, 31, from Reading, Berkshire, was later burned at a beauty spot by Coutts.

Judge Richard Hone said he was adjourning sentence until Thursday so he could put emotion to one side.

Coutts was found guilty at a retrial after a previous murder conviction in 2004 was quashed on appeal. This case has been one of the most testing ones that, in my experience, a jury has had to try. Jurors at the Old Bailey found him guilty, by an 11 to one majority, after 13 hours of deliberations.

Ms Longhurst's relatives threw their arms in the air and there were cheers from the public gallery where her mother Liz, 76, was sitting, when the verdict was read out.

Outside the Old Bailey Mrs Longhurst welcomed the verdict but the appeal and retrial had taken a "considerable toll" on the family. She said: "I trust that we will now be able to resume our lives, safe in the knowledge that Jane's reputation is unsullied and we can remember her as the lovely person she was - gifted, caring and bringing happiness to all."

Coutts killed her in March 2003 to satisfy a "long-standing and perverted interest" in the strangling to death of women, the Old Bailey had been told.

Murderous thoughts

The jury rejected his claims that Ms Longhurst's death was the result of a tragic accident.

Philip Katz QC, prosecuting, said Coutts repeatedly visited her body at the storage unit where it was kept afterwards for a "sexual thrill".

He also said Coutts had been looking at "horrific" pornographic images the day before Ms Longhurst was killed.

A former partner of Coutts told the court he had confessed to having murderous thoughts about women.

"He actually said 'I have the feeling that I am going to murder a woman. I could strangle and murder a woman,'" she said.

Judge Richard Hone said: "This case has been one of the most testing ones that, in my experience, a jury has had to try."

'Ruthless killer'

Det Insp Chris Standard said: "Graham Coutts has been convicted of murder for the second time in the face of overwhelming and compelling evidence. He is a ruthless killer who presents a great danger to women. Our thoughts remain with Jane's mother and sister, and also Jane's partner Malcolm, who have conducted themselves with great dignity throughout two trials and a very lengthy, very disheartening appeal process."

He added: "This re-conviction should signal the end of Graham Coutt's mission to escape justice and also put an end to the misery and distress he has continued to heap upon Jane's family and loved ones."

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Upsurge in Perversions Plague Godless U.K.

Well apparently satan has been busy spreading British perversions over onto American shores in his relentless evil effort to destroy Christianity. THIS pervert will have a black mark written down on his permanent record, which will follow him around for the rest of his life.

Man Caught Having Sex with a Picnic Table

BELLEVUE, OH -- A man in central Ohio is accused of having sex with his picnic table.

The investigation began when a tipster gave police three DVDs showing Arthur Price having sexual intercourse with a metal round table on his deck.

The incidents occurred between January and March 2008.

Police say the DVDs show Price involved in a sex act in his bedroom. He walks out to his deck, tilts the table on its side and has sex with it.

Police say Price lives near an elementary school.

Price admitted that he had sex with the picnic table when police questioned him.

He confirmed to police the incidents caught on the DVDs and said he had also had sex with the table inside the home.

Price faces four counts of public indecency. He is free on a $20,000 bond.

He' s also going to face Jesus on Judgment Day, and I don't think he'll be able to wiggle his way out of this one.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Upsurge in Perversions Plague Godless U.K.

Well apparently satan has been busy spreading British perversions over onto American shores in his relentless evil effort to destroy Christianity. THIS pervert will have a black mark written down on his permanent record, which will follow him around for the rest of his life.

Pastor Ezekiel, your research into weird sexual perversions has uncovered First Bicycles, then Lampposts now Picnic tables. There is clearly a demonic force at work here. I took the alphabet a=1 to Z=26 and came up with B, L, P or 2 12 16. Clearly this refers to the 2nd book of the Bible – Exodus Chapter 12, Verse 16:

Ex:12:16: And in the first day there shall be an holy convocation, and in the seventh day there shall be an holy convocation to you; no manner of work shall be done in them, save that which every man must eat, that only may be done of you.

The “holy convocation” is clearly your research;
the Lamppost is the light you are shedding on these evil practices and
the reference to eating, i.e. a picnic table, is there for all to see in the final part of the verse.

There is something afoot here Pastor and I do not like it.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Upsurge in Perversions Plague Godless U.K.

Well apparently satan has been busy spreading British perversions over onto American shores in his relentless evil effort to destroy Christianity. THIS pervert will have a black mark written down on his permanent record, which will follow him around for the rest of his life.

He' s also going to face Jesus on Judgment Day, and I don't think he'll be able to wiggle his way out of this one.

Police say Price lives near an elementary school.

That is scary. What if the children there are eating food off underage picnic tables?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Upsurge in Perversions Plague Godless U.K.

This is what you would expect from a country run by atheists? the population so given over to drunken depravity that they are too besotted to tell the difference between a lamp post and another human being. Doubtlessly England is filled with empty churches were as we speak homosexuals perform orgies were children and animals are torn apart while Muslim terrorist plot their attacks in the next room. The sooner Jesus wipes that sinful country off the map the better.

[Brother Temperance]

Demonic Brit tries to lick GWB!

Well, just when I thought the UK couldn't get any more Godless, it manages to outdo itself again:

DEMON-POSSESSED SCOTSMAN CLAIMS OUR GLORIOUS LEADER TASTES LIKE CRUSTY POTATO!

James Wannerton, president of the UK Synaesthesia Association, explains how the condition which "mixes the senses" affects his life. He is speaking at a conference in Edinburgh where scientists and others with the condition are discussing the phenomenon.
For as long as I can remember, words, word sounds, musical instruments and certain ambient noises have produced involuntary bursts of taste on my tongue...
If I see a face I can't immediately identify my mind goes through a process of using taste recollections to effectively apply a name to the face.
Whenever I see a picture of Tony Blair I instantly get the taste of desiccated coconut.
Gordon Brown leaves me with a very strong taste of dirt and Marmite, so he shouldn't count on getting my vote.
George Bush gives me a taste similar to the crusty potato bit on top of a cottage pie.

He certainly won't be getting to enjoy the sweet taste of Easter Ham with me and Jesus in Heaven, that's for sure!