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  • #1

    Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!

    Hello everyone, I'm sure a lot of you know who I am, but you may call me Miss Cassandra from now on.

    I grew up in Freehold, where I became a direct victim of your intolerance. Ever since I could walk, I was forced to listen every sunday to PD Fred's rants against anyone who dared to actually show some compassion to people who were not "True Christians™."
    My entire childhood, my father forced me to obey the dreadful laws of the bible. Every sunday, he sent me to Pastor Jones's poisonous sunday school teachings.
    Whenever I didn't do as he pleased, he hit me until I couldn't walk normally anymore because of the pain.

    Is that a normal way to raise a child? According to the bible, it might be, but according to basic human morals, it is depraved and despicable!

    Now I'm 19 years old, and I want to let you know that I utterly reject your evil religion!
    I've found a new one, a religion of peace, love, tolerance and love for nature. I've been initiated into a wiccan coven, right under your noses here in Freehold, and I walk under the friendly smile of the Mother Goddess.
    Though I hate your religion with my entire being, I must say I still feel a bit sorry for you, sad slaves of the bible. Though I don't show my true beliefs in the streets of Freehold, I still feel liberated.

    Hope all of you still have a slightly less hate-filled evening than usual.

    Miss Cassandra
    An it harm none, do what thou wilt.

    And therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honour and humility, mirth and reverence within you.


    Why I'm no longer a Christian: how the Landover Baptist Church ruined my life!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!

    Poor girl, we had no idea you were so upset. we'll send Bobby-Joe and a few of the boys down to proffer apologies.
    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!

      Wickers? In Freehold?

      I can't thank you enough for posting this. I've alerted the DoF and I'm sure they'll be paying you a visit very soon.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!

        Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
        Poor girl, we had no idea you were so upset. we'll send Bobby-Joe and a few of the boys down to proffer apologies.
        No doubt he'd like to, wouldn't he?

        Originally posted by Brother Enoch View Post
        Wickers? In Freehold?

        I can't thank you enough for posting this. I've alerted the DoF and I'm sure they'll be paying you a visit very soon.
        Do you really think they haven't tried that before? We're not stupid, you know. The Mother Goddess actually protects us, as she loves her daughters.
        An it harm none, do what thou wilt.

        And therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honour and humility, mirth and reverence within you.


        Why I'm no longer a Christian: how the Landover Baptist Church ruined my life!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!

          Cassie, you do realize that you and 12 stuffed toys sitting in a circle watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns is not a coven, right?

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!

            Originally posted by Brother Enoch View Post
            Cassie, you do realize that you and 12 stuffed toys sitting in a circle watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns is not a coven, right?
            Well, when I was eight, it proved to be reason enough for a certain Pastor to lecture my father about his child-raising qualities. So according to you, it seems to be.

            However, I count myself among the lucky ones who have been initiated in a true Wiccan coven. We congregate in the forest, not in a dark room with a television.
            An it harm none, do what thou wilt.

            And therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honour and humility, mirth and reverence within you.


            Why I'm no longer a Christian: how the Landover Baptist Church ruined my life!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!

              Originally posted by Miss Cassandra View Post
              Whenever I didn't do as he pleased, he hit me until I couldn't walk normally anymore because of the pain.
              This kind of abuse is one of the things that needs to be changed in Freehold. You can be sure that I will fight for that. Big cowards who hit little girls should be in jail.
              The 100% SURE winner of the Freehold 2024 election. Let's make Freehold GREAT again!
              • Godfly: "TrueChristian™ friends. Maybe the things Mr. King says are true."
              • Johny Joe Hold: "my worthy opponent may have some admirable traits"
              • C. Reconstruction: "you are sincere"
              NOT endorsed by Donald Trump!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!

                Originally posted by Alfred King View Post
                This kind of abuse is one of the things that needs to be changed in Freehold. You can be sure that I will fight for that. Big cowards who hit little girls should be in jail.
                Oh, please become mayor! I can't wait to see Pastor Zeke finally get what he deserves!

                Has the Mother Goddess sent you? You talk like a wise man. I never really expected to say that to a male person again, after Sister MM's How To Become A True Christian(tm) Housewife course.
                You are a really nice person, even though you are a christian.
                An it harm none, do what thou wilt.

                And therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honour and humility, mirth and reverence within you.


                Why I'm no longer a Christian: how the Landover Baptist Church ruined my life!

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!

                  Originally posted by Miss Cassandra View Post
                  even though you are a christian.
                  He's not. His hero is Malcom X, a Sunni mooslim.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!

                    Originally posted by Brother Enoch View Post
                    He's not. His hero is Malcom X, a Sunni mooslim.
                    I never bother to differentiate between intolerant, misogynic, bloodthirsty religions, if you don't mind.
                    An it harm none, do what thou wilt.

                    And therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honour and humility, mirth and reverence within you.


                    Why I'm no longer a Christian: how the Landover Baptist Church ruined my life!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!

                      Wow, you really are hateful! What has Jesus done to make you blaspheme His Word(tm) in such a gruesome manner? Did it ever occur to you that your father hit you out of True Biblical Love(tm)?

                      Please return to the True Faith(tm), girl.
                      Sweet Lord Jesus,
                      I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
                      Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
                      Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
                      Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
                      Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
                      Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
                      Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

                      Amen.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!

                        Originally posted by Miss Cassandra View Post
                        Hello everyone, I'm sure a lot of you know who I am, but you may call me Miss Cassandra from now on.

                        I grew up in Freehold, where I became a direct victim of your intolerance. Ever since I could walk, I was forced to listen every sunday to PD Fred's rants against anyone who dared to actually show some compassion to people who were not "True Christians™."
                        My entire childhood, my father forced me to obey the dreadful laws of the bible. Every sunday, he sent me to Pastor Jones's poisonous sunday school teachings.
                        Whenever I didn't do as he pleased, he hit me until I couldn't walk normally anymore because of the pain.

                        Is that a normal way to raise a child? According to the bible, it might be, but according to basic human morals, it is depraved and despicable!

                        Now I'm 19 years old, and I want to let you know that I utterly reject your evil religion!
                        I've found a new one, a religion of peace, love, tolerance and love for nature. I've been initiated into a wiccan coven, right under your noses here in Freehold, and I walk under the friendly smile of the Mother Goddess.
                        Though I hate your religion with my entire being, I must say I still feel a bit sorry for you, sad slaves of the bible. Though I don't show my true beliefs in the streets of Freehold, I still feel liberated.

                        Hope all of you still have a slightly less hate-filled evening than usual.

                        Miss Cassandra
                        Cassie?! Wow! I remember being friends with you back when we were kids, I had no idea you were mentally unstable and had turn against Jesus and his favorite community Freehold.

                        Your Dad was a good man, he'd never raise a daughter to be corrupt and against Jesus; he even beat me a few times to keep me in line.

                        Cassie, me and you need to get together and discuss these feelings your having, they're obviously the work of a demon possessing your soul.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!

                          Now look here miss Cassie, your father has done his level best to raise you to be a good Christian girl. I warned him years ago that you had the devil's look about you, and that letting you play with those "my little pony" dolls would corrupt your spirit.

                          Hasn't he given you everything a Christian child could ever want? He let you fetch his slippers and bring him his coffee, didn't he? He allowed you to read aloud from the Bible at home on your birthday, didn't he? He never hesitated to lay on a good Christian beating whenever he sensed that you deserved one, did he? What more could you ask for?

                          Now look, you give this witchcraft nonsense up right this minute. Turn in the members of your coven, apologize to the congregation this Sunday in church, and all will be forgiven.
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!

                            Originally posted by True Disciple View Post
                            Wow, you really are hateful! What has Jesus done to make you blaspheme His Word™ in such a gruesome manner? Did it ever occur to you that your father hit you out of True Biblical Love™?

                            Please return to the True Faith™, girl.
                            Oh no, not you. What's wrong, are you finished playing with fireworks for your silly little project?

                            Originally posted by Halleluyah Rob View Post
                            Cassie?! Wow! I remember being friends with you back when we were kids, I had no idea you were mentally unstable and had turn against Jesus and his favorite community Freehold.
                            Please, Rob, come to your senses. Have you ever wondered what it would mean if everything these people taught you was wrong? Of course not, you think you go to Hell if you do.
                            I feel sad for you.

                            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                            Now look, you give this witchcraft nonsense up right this minute. Turn in the members of your coven, apologize to the congregation this Sunday in church, and all will be forgiven.
                            Oh, look who's here! Pastor Zeke himself! I'm so glad that I'm a girl, so you never tried to "study the bible" with me in your basement!

                            Hasn't he given you everything a Christian child could ever want? He let you fetch his slippers and bring him his coffee, didn't he? He allowed you to read aloud from the Bible at home on your birthday, didn't he? He never hesitated to lay on a good Christian beating whenever he sensed that you deserved one, did he? What more could you ask for?
                            Umm...let me think...what about respect, love, education, tenderness, kindness, tolerance, joy, freedom and things like that?

                            Oh, of course, I forgot. Those things are satanic. God wants us to wail all day long:

                            Ecclesiastes 7:3:
                            Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.

                            You pathetic little man.
                            An it harm none, do what thou wilt.

                            And therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honour and humility, mirth and reverence within you.


                            Why I'm no longer a Christian: how the Landover Baptist Church ruined my life!

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Thanks, Landover, for ruining my childhood!

                              Originally posted by Miss Cassandra View Post
                              Please, Rob, come to your senses. Have you ever wondered what it would mean if everything these people taught you was wrong? Of course not, you think you go to Hell if you do.
                              I feel sad for you.
                              How can it be wrong? It's straight from the good Lord Jesus .
                              Deuteronomy 6:5- "And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might."

                              SEE, right there Cassie. It has been commanded that we love him, so we shall. It's not the good people from Freehold that are making me, it's the LORD him self. The community of Freehold is simply a median, a community of fellow True Christians™.

                              Cassie, I'm going to call your father, you need to be put in line.

                              Comment

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