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This Sunday, when you put your credit card on the collection plate, for the first time you will be asked "Would you like to Supersize™ your blessings?" *
By choosing to supersize™ your blessing, your donation will be increased by 30%, and as a thank-you gift for your refusal to rob God of his tithes and offerings (Malachi 3:8) we will give your name to our Veteran Prayer-Warriors, who have survived long tours of duty on the front-line of spiritual warfare in the Presidential Prayer Team.
As a special bonus, even if you do not choose to Supersize™ Your Faith this Sunday, will will give you a free gift of a free-of-charge no-cost prayer for your soul. Our spirtual-battle-scarred prayer warriors will pray for your vile soul to be spared the horrific tortures you deserve, in this world and the next, for robbing God of His property.
Malachi 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.
Psalm 24:1 The earth is the LORD'S, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.
Haggai 2:8 The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the LORD of hosts.
If you have any other questions, before asking them here I recommend you consult the tithing FAQ.
*(Wait, you're saying, isn't McDonald's going to sue us for trademarking their own already trademarked "supersize™"? No, they won't. In case you've not been to a McDonald's lately, they no longer supersize™ their meals. They now only "Largesize™" them.)
By choosing to supersize™ your blessing, your donation will be increased by 30%, and as a thank-you gift for your refusal to rob God of his tithes and offerings (Malachi 3:8) we will give your name to our Veteran Prayer-Warriors, who have survived long tours of duty on the front-line of spiritual warfare in the Presidential Prayer Team.
As a special bonus, even if you do not choose to Supersize™ Your Faith this Sunday, will will give you a free gift of a free-of-charge no-cost prayer for your soul. Our spirtual-battle-scarred prayer warriors will pray for your vile soul to be spared the horrific tortures you deserve, in this world and the next, for robbing God of His property.
Malachi 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.
Psalm 24:1 The earth is the LORD'S, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.
Haggai 2:8 The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the LORD of hosts.
If you have any other questions, before asking them here I recommend you consult the tithing FAQ.
*(Wait, you're saying, isn't McDonald's going to sue us for trademarking their own already trademarked "supersize™"? No, they won't. In case you've not been to a McDonald's lately, they no longer supersize™ their meals. They now only "Largesize™" them.)
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