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FATALITY! The 4 most brutal "finishing moves" in the Bible!
FATALITY! 4 Biblical finishing moves more brutal than anything in Mortal Kombat or God of War!
Hey kids! Think Kratos is the baddest dude in the world? He's rough all right, and his finishing moves sure are "gnarly", but the most action-packed scenes of butt-kicking aren't in some video game, they're in a rectangular box of solid AWESOME called THE BIBLE:
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15And thou shalt have great sickness by disease of thy bowels, until thy bowels fall out by reason of the sickness day by day. - 2 Chronicles 21:14-15
THREAT CARRIED OUT: Bloody dysentry has killed countless millions of sinners, young and old.
This picture is from a refugee camp in Zaire, where God smites Catholic and Anglican Rwandans with dysentry in such numbers that only heavy equipment can move them all. Note that these machines are probably the only products of the industrial revolution you'll find in Central Africa.
THE CLOSEST VIDEO GAMES CAME: Oregon Trail
A good effort, but it doesn't come close to capturing the horror of children crapping their intestines out.
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THREAT CARRIED OUT: It's hard to know how many people have been killed by wild animals, because the victims tend to be illiterate back-woods villagers who don't keep statistics. Between 1800 and 1900, it is estimated that tigers had killed over 10,000 Hindus and Muslims in India alone!
"Hello kitty! AAAARG!" *Chomp* *chomp*
In the case of sharks, people lost at sea simply dissappear:
"Please God, save me from the teeth of beasts!" "DENIED" *CHOMP*
Even worse, before the Great Deluge, getting eaten by dinosaurs must have been the most common form of death.
THE CLOSEST VIDEO GAMES CAME: I can't think of any video games where children are ripped apart by the teeth of beasts.
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THREAT CARRIED OUT: About 75% of people conceived are killed by God while still in the womb. I guess when you're locked in a room for 9 months with nothing to do but masturbate, a lot of people fall into temption. Since it is estimated that about 100 Billion people have been born in history, that's about 300,000,000,000 babies killed by God - before they even left the "starting gate", so to speak.
THE CLOSEST VIDEO GAMES CAME: In The Sims characters can get pregnant, but I've never heard of miscarriages, let alone miscarriages due to complications while being ripped to pieces by the LORD.
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flashing swords
and glittering spears!
Many casualties,
piles of dead,
bodies without number,
people stumbling over the corpses-
all because of the wanton lust of a harlot...
"I am against you," declares the LORD Almighty.
"I will lift your skirts over your face.
I will show the nations your nakedness
and the kingdoms your shame.
I will pelt you with filth...("I will cast abominable filth upon thee" - King James Version)
Her infants were dashed to pieces
at the head of every street. - Nahum 3
I know this is a King-James-Version-only church, but I'm posting the New International Version here in hopes that a heavy metal band is inspired to use it as lyrics for a song.
THREAT CARRIED OUT: Abu Graib, baby.
THE CLOSEST VIDEO GAMES CAME: In Bully there's a poo-flinging mini-game, but still no baby-smashing.
Hey kids! Think Kratos is the baddest dude in the world? He's rough all right, and his finishing moves sure are "gnarly", but the most action-packed scenes of butt-kicking aren't in some video game, they're in a rectangular box of solid AWESOME called THE BIBLE:
.
GOD'S DEATH THREAT: "I will make your children crap their intestines out"
14Behold, with a great plague will the LORD smite thy people, and thy children, and thy wives, and all thy goods: 15And thou shalt have great sickness by disease of thy bowels, until thy bowels fall out by reason of the sickness day by day. - 2 Chronicles 21:14-15
THREAT CARRIED OUT: Bloody dysentry has killed countless millions of sinners, young and old.
This picture is from a refugee camp in Zaire, where God smites Catholic and Anglican Rwandans with dysentry in such numbers that only heavy equipment can move them all. Note that these machines are probably the only products of the industrial revolution you'll find in Central Africa.
THE CLOSEST VIDEO GAMES CAME: Oregon Trail
A good effort, but it doesn't come close to capturing the horror of children crapping their intestines out.
.
GOD'S DEATH THREAT: The TEETH OF BEASTS will rip your children apart
Deuteronomy 32:17-25: "For a fire is kindled in mine anger, and shall burn unto the lowest hell, and shall consume the earth with her increase, and set on fire the foundations of the mountains. I will heap mischiefs upon them; I will spend mine arrows upon them. They shall be burnt with hunger, and devoured with burning heat, and with bitter destruction: I will also send the teeth of beasts upon them, with the poison of serpents of the dust. The sword without, and terror within, shall destroy both the young man and the virgin, the suckling also with the man of gray hairs”THREAT CARRIED OUT: It's hard to know how many people have been killed by wild animals, because the victims tend to be illiterate back-woods villagers who don't keep statistics. Between 1800 and 1900, it is estimated that tigers had killed over 10,000 Hindus and Muslims in India alone!
"Hello kitty! AAAARG!" *Chomp* *chomp*
In the case of sharks, people lost at sea simply dissappear:
"Please God, save me from the teeth of beasts!" "DENIED" *CHOMP*Even worse, before the Great Deluge, getting eaten by dinosaurs must have been the most common form of death.
THE CLOSEST VIDEO GAMES CAME: I can't think of any video games where children are ripped apart by the teeth of beasts.
.
GOD'S DEATH THREAT: "I will rip babies from their wombs and smash them to pieces":
Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up -Hosea 13:16 THREAT CARRIED OUT: About 75% of people conceived are killed by God while still in the womb. I guess when you're locked in a room for 9 months with nothing to do but masturbate, a lot of people fall into temption. Since it is estimated that about 100 Billion people have been born in history, that's about 300,000,000,000 babies killed by God - before they even left the "starting gate", so to speak.
THE CLOSEST VIDEO GAMES CAME: In The Sims characters can get pregnant, but I've never heard of miscarriages, let alone miscarriages due to complications while being ripped to pieces by the LORD.
.
GOD'S DEATH THREAT:"You slut, I will strip you naked, pelt you with poop, then smash your babies to pieces"
Charging cavalry, flashing swords
and glittering spears!
Many casualties,
piles of dead,
bodies without number,
people stumbling over the corpses-
all because of the wanton lust of a harlot...
"I am against you," declares the LORD Almighty.
"I will lift your skirts over your face.
I will show the nations your nakedness
and the kingdoms your shame.
I will pelt you with filth...("I will cast abominable filth upon thee" - King James Version)
Her infants were dashed to pieces
at the head of every street. - Nahum 3
I know this is a King-James-Version-only church, but I'm posting the New International Version here in hopes that a heavy metal band is inspired to use it as lyrics for a song.
THREAT CARRIED OUT: Abu Graib, baby.
THE CLOSEST VIDEO GAMES CAME: In Bully there's a poo-flinging mini-game, but still no baby-smashing.
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