X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Redecorating for Christmas, Jesus is Truly the Light of the World!

    Brethren,

    I do not have much savings but by eating helping at the local charity I'll be able to provide plentiful Christmas presents for my family with KJV Bibles for my children and a BIG surprise for the woman. I've promised to redecorate. As this is notoriously expensive, I've decided to concentrate on turning our home into a veritable nest of True Christian™ paraphernalia.

    The thing is to ask the Bible, i.e., Jesus for advice, and I stumbled upon John. Light. Jesus is the Light of the World! How to remember this every single waking moment of our daily lives, how to be reminded of it in a constant never failing manner when spending time at home with the woman and the family? The answer is: Light switches! Relatively cheap and - I do not wish to boast - I am something of an electrician and I am sure I can do the necessary wiring myself after adequate prayer (Matthew 7:8).

    Here's the product:



    With this device, every single act of switching the light on becomes a little prayer. With this act we call the name of Jesus and suddenly it feels like a Heavenly Home!

    Picture this: You are at home, it is 4 am. It is time to start your prayer duties. It is dark and you stumble against the wall in darkness. You hand hits the switch of this new design, and...

    Psalms 18:28
    For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness.

    Isaiah 9:2
    The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined.




    You can feel the face of Jesus and how He protects us, His chosen ones with His arms against the swarms of sodomy and eventually beams us up into Heaven when the Time is Ripe (1 Thessalonians 4:17). Now I can hear His voice, it's like an angel sighing. I remember how it was when Jesus came into my life. Suddenly I had no choice, I heard His voice. It felt like flying (1 Thessalonians 4:17).

    John 5:35
    He was a burning and a shining light: and ye were willing for a season to rejoice in his light.


    I turn the switch on. I turn Jesus on. He's my Light!

    Matthew 5:14
    Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.


    As long as electricity flows it is transformed into the very being of Jesus. The bulbs shine with His presence. It is the mystery of Life, no longer am I standing alone. I'm with Jesus Christ!

    John 12:46
    I am come a light into the world, that whosoever believeth on me should not abide in darkness.

    John 1:4
    In him was life; and the life was the light of men.


    Oh, glorious ecstasy of being with Jesus. Now, please do not be alarmed. I do know that eventually night falls again the lights are switched off.



    It can be like leaving Jesus. You may feel terrible and abandoned. You close your eyes, you pray for God. You think you're falling out of the sky. You close your eyes. You ask for help. AND it is there, always!

    Acts 26:18
    To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me.


    Jesus is there always. Open your Spiritual eyes. Turn the Light on! The Light is always there, not only for Christmas, not only during the waking hours with the lights on. This switch is a powerful device to remind us of that. I am sure my wife will be quite pleased with the superb gift I'm giving her in a few days for Jesus' Birthday.

    Glory!



    Yours in Christ,

    Elmer
    2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



    PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
    Check out our Research in Creation Science:

  • #2
    Re: Redecorating for Christmas, Jesus is Truly the Light of the World!

    you need a life my friend, I can not name many people who care for your light switch.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Redecorating for Christmas, Jesus is Truly the Light of the World!

      That is beautiful, Brother Elmer. Your taste in interior décor is exquisite.

      I hope you will not mind if I have these light switches installed in the Freehold City Hall and in all the Freehold schools.

      Let the light of Jesus shine.
      Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Redecorating for Christmas, Jesus is Truly the Light of the World!

        Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
        That is beautiful, Brother Elmer. Your taste in interior décor is exquisite.

        I hope you will not mind if I have these light switches installed in the Freehold City Hall and in all the Freehold schools.

        Let the light of Jesus shine.
        Mr. Mayor,

        It would obviously be an honor to have my ideas distributed in the Godliest City in the whole World. In addition, I think that this could be a nice Christmas gift for Pastor Ezekiel to install in his future Gospel-spreading Jet Airplane.

        In addition to the model I refered to earlier (below)...



        ...there is also another design(see below)...



        ...perhaps suitable for the jet's cock pit and for the many devices that are used during flight (music, TV screens, dinner service). These functions could thus basically be controlled by turning Jesus on. I'm positive pastor Ezekiel would be thrilled!

        1 John 1:5
        This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.



        This is going to be a well-illuminated Christmas and I think that this will also help us to perform our evangelizing duties.


        Yours in Christ,

        Elmer
        2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



        PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
        Check out our Research in Creation Science:

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Redecorating for Christmas, Jesus is Truly the Light of the World!

          Originally posted by Elmer G. White View Post

          I think I prefer the first design, Brother Elmer. On the second one, Our seems to have a little bit strenuous look, as if the action of moving His switch up was somehow difficult for Him.
          God created fossils to test our faith.

          * * *

          My favorite LBC sermons:
          True Christians are Perfect!
          True Christian™ Love.
          Salvation™ made Easy!
          You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
          Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
          Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
          Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
          Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
          The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
          Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
          God HATES Rational Thinking!
          True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

          Comment

          Working...
          X