[Free Market Fred]

Re: Jesus Destroys Haiti

Hallelujah, my prayers have been answered. As most of you know, my company got a bum rap for selling melamine-tainted milk. I say "bum rap" because I swear to this day that melamine is actually an important nutritional food supplement widely used to make counter tops, fabrics, glue, housewares and flame retardants. Nevertheless, many countries unfairly banned our Chinese-made milk powder products. As a result, we've got literally tons of this stuff stockpiled in warehouses in China, and we haven't been able to sell it. This represents a huge loss for us.

And now The Lord, bless him, sends us a disaster in Haiti. This is just what we've been waiting for. Using our carefully crafted political connections, we won the no-bid contract to supply the Haitians with disaster relief. And guess what food stuffs we will be sending them? That's right, pure nutritious milk powder! Plus some mouth-watering nourishing melamine-tainted dog food that's been sitting in the warehouse since 2007.



The Lord sure works in mysterious ways!

Praise Jesus!
Brother Fred

[Larry Lee]

Re: Jesus Destroys Haiti

Hallelujah, my prayers have been answered. As most of you know, my company got a bum rap for selling melamine-tainted milk. I say "bum rap" because I swear to this day that melamine is actually an important nutritional food supplement widely used to make counter tops, fabrics, glue, housewares and flame retardants. Nevertheless, many countries unfairly banned our Chinese-made milk powder products. As a result, we've got literally tons of this stuff stockpiled in warehouses in China, and we haven't been able to sell it. This represents a huge loss for us.

And now The Lord, bless him, sends us a disaster in Haiti. This is just what we've been waiting for. Using our carefully crafted political connections, we won the no-bid contract to supply the Haitians with disaster relief. And guess what food stuffs we will be sending them? That's right, pure nutritious milk powder! Plus some mouth-watering nourishing melamine-tainted dog food that's been sitting in the warehouse since 2007.

Excellent news, Fred. Congratulations. How's that proposal coming for the RFP concerned with harvesting the perfectly good kidneys and such from the tragic, recent victims of the disaster? It's my understanding that the Haitians themselves are getting impatient for the air-freighting to Europe and North America to begin.

[TruePath]

Re: Jesus Destroys Haiti

Hallelujah, my prayers have been answered. As most of you know, my company got a bum rap for selling melamine-tainted milk. I say "bum rap" because I swear to this day that melamine is actually an important nutritional food supplement widely used to make counter tops, fabrics, glue, housewares and flame retardants. Nevertheless, many countries unfairly banned our Chinese-made milk powder products. As a result, we've got literally tons of this stuff stockpiled in warehouses in China, and we haven't been able to sell it. This represents a huge loss for us.

And now The Lord, bless him, sends us a disaster in Haiti. This is just what we've been waiting for. Using our carefully crafted political connections, we won the no-bid contract to supply the Haitians with disaster relief. And guess what food stuffs we will be sending them? That's right, pure nutritious milk powder! Plus some mouth-watering nourishing melamine-tainted dog food that's been sitting in the warehouse since 2007.



The Lord sure works in mysterious ways!

Praise Jesus!
Brother Fred

Your joking, right?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Jesus Destroys Haiti

That would be a very tasteless subject to joke about. I'm sure Fred isn't the kind of nasty man who'd say something like that for a joke.

[Christy]

Re: Jesus Destroys Haiti

As I watched Pat Robertson today I was feeling sinfully tingly. I actually put on my old knee length cheerleader uniform.

[bethany356]

Re: Jesus Destroys Haiti

I'm just curious... why do you hate black people? Aren't there alot of black Christians?

[bethany356]

Re: Jesus Destroys Haiti

And why am I automatically unsaved trash?

[Larry Lee]

Re: Jesus Destroys Haiti

And why am I automatically unsaved trash?

Jesus Himself hopes you'll prove your're not, but until then, perhaps the concept of "original sin" will ring a bell of recognition with you. Now, how do you feel about the Lord's glorious movement in Haiti?

[bethany356]

Re: Jesus Destroys Haiti

I think that it is sad. Those people don't have very much, and now they have even less. It's always sad when people die through no fault of their own.

[Larry Lee]

Re: Jesus Destroys Haiti

I think that it is sad. Those people don't have very much, and now they have even less. It's always sad when people die through no fault of their own.

Surely you're not suggesting that Jesus made a mistake in exercising his wrath against the demon-worshiping, personal hygiene avoidant Haitians, are you?

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: Jesus Destroys Haiti

I think that it is sad. Those people don't have very much, and now they have even less. It's always sad when people die through no fault of their own.

I would think it is horrible, if not for the fact that Jesus did it. In fact, God knew this was going to happen from the moment he decided to create the universe! The Lord works in mysterious ways, no?

[bethany356]

Re: Jesus Destroys Haiti

There are Christian Hatians, and they're unhygenic because they're poor. Hati is the poorest country in the western hemisphere, because of a corrupt government. Why should the people be punished for what a corrupt and unmanageable government does?

[Larry Lee]

Re: Jesus Destroys Haiti

There are Christian Hatians, and they're unhygenic because they're poor. Hati is the poorest country in the western hemisphere, because of a corrupt government. Why should the people be punished for what a corrupt and unmanageable government does?

You didn't listen to Pat Robinson's Godly commentary on the Haitians' pack with Satan.

[bethany356]

Re: Jesus Destroys Haiti

No, I'm sorry.

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: Jesus Destroys Haiti

CNN is even poking fun at Haiti right now! Here is an ACTUAL SCREEN SHOT I took about 2 minutes agao of CNN's home page... Note that even the Nyquil add looke like a dead Haitian!

Go check it out for yourself!