Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

[Cranky Old Man]

All loving parents know that you have to hit a child with a rod to properly raise it.

God is very clear about that:

• Proverbs 23:13-14 "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."
• Proverbs 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

Less clear is the perfect age to start doing this. Fortunately True Christian™ science has now finally solved that mystery.

Using advanced ultrasound scans of a foetus, True Christian™ researchers have found that connections in the foetal brain are not fully formed before 24 weeks. In practical terms this means the best time to start hitting the child with a rod is about 16 weeks before it is born. Usually this is also a period in which your wife starts neglecting her duties so you can hit two birds with one stone by hitting hard with a rod on the belly of the pregnant woman. Make sure to be forceful enough, otherwise the child will not notice!

[Felicity]

Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

@Cranky Old Man I am glad my father properly raised me!

[Nobar King]

Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

If she's preggers she's going to be getting more medical attention, so do you have any suggestions on how to reduce any bruising?

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

If she's preggers she's going to be getting more medical attention, so do you have any suggestions on how to reduce any bruising?

This always works on my wife Ethel!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

how to reduce any bruising?

If there is any, it will be similar to stretch marks. Just make sure to hit parallel to the stretch marks.

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

May I suggest placing an ice-pack on the bruises? This also gives the unborn child a chill, maybe this will help their discipline once they are born.

[Brother Daniel]

Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

May I suggest placing an ice-pack on the bruises? This also gives the unborn child a chill, maybe this will help their discipline once they are born.

Be sure to reapeat the action a few times. Because the unborn child won't remember everything after the first time.

[Felicity]

Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

@Brother Daniel Welcome! I hope we can be friends!

Since you are new here please look at our please read this before posting and our your rights on this forum threads! If you already did that, just do it again. There you can learn that this forum is not about debating or unsaved opinions but about praising Jesus!

If you didn't do that yet, it would be great if you could make a thread of your own in the introductions section of the forum! That way everyone here can meet you and see how much you love Jesus!

[Brother Daniel]

Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

@Brother Daniel Welcome! I hope we can be friends!

Since you are new here please look at our please read this before posting and our your rights on this forum threads! If you already did that, just do it again. There you can learn that this forum is not about debating or unsaved opinions but about praising Jesus!

If you didn't do that yet, it would be great if you could make a thread of your own in the introductions section of the forum! That way everyone here can meet you and see how much you love Jesus!

What a nice welcome! I'm very pleased to be a member of this forum. Finaly a place True Christians can talk. Without any debate. But just to praise the lord.

[Dirk]

Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

All loving parents know that you have to hit a child with a rod to properly raise it. God is very clear about that:

Proverbs 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

Less clear is the perfect age to start doing this. Fortunately True Christian™ science has now finally solved that mystery.

Using advanced ultrasound scans of a foetus, True Christian™ researchers have found that connections in the foetal brain are not fully formed before 24 weeks. In practical terms this means the best time to start hitting the child with a rod is about 16 weeks before it is born. Usually this is also a period in which your wife starts neglecting her duties so you can hit two birds with one stone by hitting hard with a rod on the belly of the pregnant woman. Make sure to be forceful enough, otherwise the child will not notice!

Now I understand why my children were rebelious in the past.....

[Madison007]

Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

All loving parents know that you have to hit a child with a rod to properly raise it. God is very clear about that:

Proverbs 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

Less clear is the perfect age to start doing this. Fortunately True Christian™ science has now finally solved that mystery.

Using advanced ultrasound scans of a foetus, True Christian™ researchers have found that connections in the foetal brain are not fully formed before 24 weeks. In practical terms this means the best time to start hitting the child with a rod is about 16 weeks before it is born. Usually this is also a period in which your wife starts neglecting her duties so you can hit two birds with one stone by hitting hard with a rod on the belly of the pregnant woman. Make sure to be forceful enough, otherwise the child will not notice!

Oh my gosh...
This HAS to be a joke. Please tell me you people don't really beat your wives and children. PLEASE. That's abusive and illegal. What's wrong with you? I'm literally crying at the moment because I'm terrified of you psychopaths.

[Brother Daniel]

Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

Oh my gosh...
This HAS to be a joke. Please tell me you people don't really beat your wives and children. PLEASE. That's abusive and illegal. What's wrong with you? I'm literally crying at the moment because I'm terrified of you psychopaths.

Why would we joke about this? Raising your childeren is something serious.
I think the only thing we are trying to do is to prefend that our children are going to grow up as psychopaths. I don't really see the problem.

Is it illegal? There is no illegal for me, as no one stands above the law!
God is the law.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

Please tell me you people don't really beat your wives and children. PLEASE. That's abusive and illegal. What's wrong with you? I'm literally crying at the moment because I'm terrified of you psychopaths.

We have to beat our children! God demands this from us. If we don't hit our children they will burn in hell for all eternity!

Proverbs 23:13-14 "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

Oh my gosh...
This HAS to be a joke. Please tell me you people don't really beat your wives and children. PLEASE. That's abusive and illegal. What's wrong with you? I'm literally crying at the moment because I'm terrified of you psychopaths.

You are correct that abuse is illegal, however there is a huge difference between abuse and corrections.

[Brother Daniel]

Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

You are correct that abuse is illegal, however there is a huge difference between abuse and corrections.

Is it illegal? Yes it is.
Did god say it isn't allowed? No he didn't!

Nobody stands above the law!
And god is the law!