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Note to old people: GET A LIFE!
Last night I was at a dinner party, and was having a good time, until a decaying corpse highjacked it.
The father of the host called, saying he was bored and lonely, but he still didn't want to go to a nursing home. Why not? Because he didn't want to be surrounded by old people!
Hey buddy, I know just how you feel! Because all evening, this decripit heap of saggy skin and rotting meat was the guest of honor (in spirit), with every conversation ending up "What to do about Dad? Can he come here? How hard can changing his diapers be?" How's that for a fine evening: meatballs, chocolate ice cream for dessert, to the musical accompanyment of people talking about changing old people's diapers.
You know, we have a serious demographic problem in the civilized world - not enough young people to care for the huge amount of old people. (Or rather, to care ABOUT the huge amount of old people. We don't care what you did in the war, daddy!) Liberals use this as an excuse to import immigrants. Unless they are female and come from the Philipines, that won't help. At best the geezers will have bowel problems due to all the spicy cooking, and what's more likely is they'll have the hudcaps off their motor-scooters stolen.
I believe that people need to lead, follow, or get out of the way. Other than John McCain, they aren't leading, and they stopped following whenever belts at nipple hight was still fashionable, so all that's left for them to do is get out of the way.
Now, I'm not going to suggest that old people indulge in self-murder. The time of your death is God's decision, and if God wants you to spend decades alone, in pain, and soaking in your own feces, with nothing to look forward to but more intense pain and ever smellier feces - who are you to question the loving gifts of God?
However, if old people were encouraged to take up extreme sports, there's nothing wrong with that. I want to see reality shows where old people set off kayaking around Antartica, or trying to tame hyenas, or climbing volcanoes and so on. Of course they'll need an attractive young female co-host to guide them. And those spooky-sound-effect music scores that make absolutely any TV show become instantly interesting.
Hey, if you live, you've finally done something interesting with your life, and maybe someone will come visit and consentually listen to your stories. And it turns out that God wants you off His lawn, well, it was God's will.
The father of the host called, saying he was bored and lonely, but he still didn't want to go to a nursing home. Why not? Because he didn't want to be surrounded by old people!
Hey buddy, I know just how you feel! Because all evening, this decripit heap of saggy skin and rotting meat was the guest of honor (in spirit), with every conversation ending up "What to do about Dad? Can he come here? How hard can changing his diapers be?" How's that for a fine evening: meatballs, chocolate ice cream for dessert, to the musical accompanyment of people talking about changing old people's diapers.
You know, we have a serious demographic problem in the civilized world - not enough young people to care for the huge amount of old people. (Or rather, to care ABOUT the huge amount of old people. We don't care what you did in the war, daddy!) Liberals use this as an excuse to import immigrants. Unless they are female and come from the Philipines, that won't help. At best the geezers will have bowel problems due to all the spicy cooking, and what's more likely is they'll have the hudcaps off their motor-scooters stolen.
I believe that people need to lead, follow, or get out of the way. Other than John McCain, they aren't leading, and they stopped following whenever belts at nipple hight was still fashionable, so all that's left for them to do is get out of the way.
Now, I'm not going to suggest that old people indulge in self-murder. The time of your death is God's decision, and if God wants you to spend decades alone, in pain, and soaking in your own feces, with nothing to look forward to but more intense pain and ever smellier feces - who are you to question the loving gifts of God?
However, if old people were encouraged to take up extreme sports, there's nothing wrong with that. I want to see reality shows where old people set off kayaking around Antartica, or trying to tame hyenas, or climbing volcanoes and so on. Of course they'll need an attractive young female co-host to guide them. And those spooky-sound-effect music scores that make absolutely any TV show become instantly interesting.
Hey, if you live, you've finally done something interesting with your life, and maybe someone will come visit and consentually listen to your stories. And it turns out that God wants you off His lawn, well, it was God's will.
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