My Baby is teething.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

BIBLICAL RESEARCH FROM LANDOVER CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY HAS CONFIRMED THAT BABIES WHO ARE ‘TEETHING’ ARE ACTUALLY POSSESSED BY EVIL DEMONS SENT FROM HELL.

The study of selected verses from KJV1611 shows that screaming, waking up at night, biting, and generally being troublesome are not due to ‘incisors coming through’, but are undeniable symptoms of a dark spiritual possession by the Canaanite demon Yam accompanied by Lotan, his twisting, seven-headed serpent ally.

New mom, Mary Hogarth said: “We thought that the crying, the grumpiness, projectile vomiting, and waking up at night screaming ‘mottherpiffleers’, were all normal symptoms of teething. To discover that our baby is possessed of a malevolent force sent by Satan from the bowels of hell is something of a shock. We are hoping it’s just a phase.”

The research also points to the deluded mind of the mother during possession, Professor Doctor Elmer White said: “Mothers are in denial and love blaming stuff on teething. If it were actually teething the number of times she says “Ah… he’s teething”, then the child would have 9,328 teeth on average, whereas those possessed tend to have fewer than five. Their soul is clearly inhabited by evil force. And we must deal with this evil that infests our society if ever the Jews are going to be perfected.”

Pastor Rune Enoe, from his office on the Copenhagen campus of Landover Baptist University, said: “Parents are advised to try giving their possessed baby a pacifier...” He paused and added “Ha! Not really. You’re screwed. Maybe try praying or better still, call in a True Christian Pastor and let them deal with it.”

[BibleReader2231]

Re: My Baby is teething.

Wouldn't it be wise for at a young age to stick some rubber balls in the baby's mouth and force it to recite Romans 2 in its entirety? This is what my school would do with the retards in order to cleanse them of Satanic phrasing. Although at a baby's age, it just may as well be doomed since they can't speak well to begin with. How effective is spanking?

[Scoutman03]

Re: My Baby is teething.

It's teething. Teeth coming through the gum and skin hurts. Give him some frozen rubber to chew on, the cold helps with the pain and gives them something to do.

[Dana723]

Re: My Baby is teething.

It's teething. Teeth coming through the gum and skin hurts. Give him some frozen rubber to chew on, the cold helps with the pain and gives them something to do.

A FROZEN RUBBER? WHAT KIND OF A PERVERT ARE YOU?

[Scoutman03]

Re: My Baby is teething.

A FROZEN RUBBER? WHAT KIND OF A PERVERT ARE YOU?

???
A rubber teething ring that is frozen in the freezer.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: My Baby is teething.

???
A rubber teething ring that is frozen in the freezer.

What kind of imbecile would give a frozen chunk of rubber to a baby to chew on? No, what you want to give a teething baby is a strip of beef jerky softened in a glass of bourbon. My wife did this for all five of our children, and their teeth are just fine.

[Scoutman03]

Re: My Baby is teething.

What kind of imbecile would give a frozen chunk of rubber to a baby to chew on? No, what you want to give a teething baby is a strip of beef jerky softened in a glass of bourbon. My wife did this for all five of our children, and their teeth are just fine.

You do you. The cold just helps with the pain and the rubber is just nice to chew on. Isn't the best idea to give your baby something that is covered in bourbon, but ok, doesn't do much harm.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: My Baby is teething.

Wouldn't it be wise for at a young age to stick some rubber balls in the baby's mouth and force it to recite Romans 2 in its entirety? This is what my school would do with the retards in order to cleanse them of Satanic phrasing. Although at a baby's age, it just may as well be doomed since they can't speak well to begin with. How effective is spanking?

Spanking is very effective. Why, my babies have learned to stop crying the moment they hear my footsteps in the hall. When I come in the bedroom all noise has ceased and I am met with a blank, empty stare that shows respectful submission to authority. This is a necessary step to serving the LORD without reservation.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: My Baby is teething.

You do you.

What a foolish, un-Christian thing to say! There is only ONE way to redemption, and that is through the Lord Jesus Christ (John 14:6). He has given us many rules to follow, any deviation from which will result in eternal hellfire (James 2:10). Rest assured, "me doing me" is me following Christ, and "you doing you" is you serving Satan.


Enjoy Hell, sinner.