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The official deity bodycount -
09-02-2007, 08:43 AM
We all know that being God-fearing is a good thing. Our creation scientists have completed an epic research project that statistically proves once and for all that the truly God-fearing become Christians - because the most fearsome deity is ours:
The Official Deity Bodycount:
Jesus
Taiping Rebellion (1851- 1864)
20,000,000 - 40,000,000
American Indians killed
20,000,000
AIDS 1981-98
11,700,000
By keeping condoms away from sinners. Catholic Priests have 4 times more AIDS cases than the regular population. Does that mean Jesus gets 3 quarters of AIDS smitings?
The Thirty Years War (1618-48)
8,000,000
Saracens slaughtered in Spain
7,000,000
Jews killed in Holocaust
6,000,000  
France: Catholic vs. Huguenot (1562-1598)
2,000,000 - 4,000,000
Saxons and Scandinavian pagans killed
2,000,000
Rwanda and Burundi (1959-95)
1 350 000
Bush's Crusade in Iraq
1,200,000+ (God told him to do it!)
People killed under the orders of God in the Bible
1,283,000
Spanish Inquisition (1478-1834)
350,000
Ivan the Terrible, Russia, (r.1533-84)
200,000
Bosnia and Herzegovina (1992-95):
175 000
Poland (1648-54) Jews slaughtered
150,000-200,000
Witch Hunts (1400-1800)
100,000
Peasants' War, Germany (1524-25)
100,000
Vlad The Impaler, Wallachia (r.1456-1462)
50,000-100,000
Munster Rebellion
Many thousands
Jews killed as scapegoats for Black Death, West Europe (1348)
20,000+
US Lynchings, first wave (1865-76)

3,500 - 20,000
Lisbon (1506) Converted Jews killed
2,000-4,000
US Lynchings, second wave (1900-50)
1,986
INVISIBLE HAND 
Smoking, 20th century
90,000,000
Victorian Imperial Famines (1876-1900)
31,700,000 - 61,300,000
French Equatorial Africa (1900-40)
12,000,000
Congo Free State (1886-1908)
8 000 000 - 21,500,000
Slave trade (Christian)
15,000,000 - 20,000,000
Slave trade (Islamic)
19,000,000
Shock Therapy, Russia 1992+
3,200,000 - 10,000,000 (sources for Low Estimate and High estimate)
Climate Change, 1999-2019
6,000,000
Ireland, Famine (1845-48)
750,000
Destruction of Amazonian Indians (1900-99)
500,000
Forced laborers worked to death in Portuguese colonies (1900-25):
325 000
Rubber companies in Peru and Brazil, worker deaths (1900-12):
250 000
Karl Marx
Red Holocaust: ~ 100,000,000
Also, this dog:
ALLAH    
Chinese Muslim Rebellion, (1862-1877)
8,000,000 - 12,000,000
Timur Lenk (1369-1405)
5,000,000
Sudan (1983 et seq.)
1 900 000
East Pakistan: Massacres 1971
1,250,000
Iran-Iraq War (Sunni VS Shia) 1980-88
1,000,000
Arab conquest
698,200
Algeria (1954-62)
675 000
Hindus killed, India, (1366)
500,000
India-Pakistan Partition 1947
250,000
Lebanon 1976-2000
150,000
Syria's Shia(Alawite) vs Sunni civil war (in progress)
100,000
Algeria: Islamic fundamentalist insurrection (1992-2002)
100 000
War Between Christians and Druses, Lebanon (1860)
30,000
Persia (1848-54)
20,000 Babis (Baha'is) massacred.
India, Sepoy Mutiny (1857)
15,000
Massacre of Armenians (1895-96)
5,000 - 75,000
Israeli War of Independence 1948
11,000
Bengali War of Independence 1971
11,000
2nd Indo-Pak War 1965
7,000
Shinto God-emperor 
Pacific war, 1933-1945
24,000,000
HINDU GODS
Thuggee human sacrifices
9,100,000
India-Pakistan Partition 1947
250,000
Widow Burning
62,400 per century until 1829
India, Sepoy Mutiny (1857)
5,000 - 75,000
PAGAN
Mongol Crusades
40,000,000
Human sacrifices during dedication of a temple of Huitzilopochtli in Tenochtitlan by Aztec king Ahuitzotl (1487)
80,000
South Africa, Xhosa self-destruction (1857)
40,000 starved
China, human sacrifices 750-1050
13,000
BUDDAH and company
Taoist Yellow Turban Rebellion
3,000,000 - 7,000,000
Boxer Rebellion 
115,000
Vietnam, Persecution of Christians (ca. 1832-1887)
40,000
Satan:
10
Conclusion:
I have not worked out the precise numbers but it seems Jesus is easily the most fearsome, with about one hundred million smitings to his credit before you even count His Invisible Hand, at which point it adds up to a quarter-billion confirmed kills.
The Pagan deity that sent Ghengis Khan crusading gets second place. After all, many of his Mongol warriors were Christians.
Karl Marx gets the bronze medal. I'm sure he'd prefer everybody get a bronze medal with him, since he thought everybody should get equal results regardless of productivity.
Allah and the Hindu gods seem to be tied for fourth with about dozen million victims, Allah wins the bronze though, because his number is doubled if you count slavery in the Islamic world.
The Hindu gods used to do a lot of sacrifices in prehistoric times, but unless they nuke Pakistan soon they'll become a historical footnote among the God-fearing.
Non-Mongol Pagans seem to be the same story as the Hindus, though at least the pagan gods have the excuse that they hardly have any believers to do the smiting for them.
Buddah is pathetic, no wonder he's so fat, having not gotten off his butt to do a single smiting for an entire century now.
Got that, God-fearers?
THE GOD-FEARING FEAR JESUS!
Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 09-10-2019 at 10:02 PM.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
09-02-2007, 09:43 AM
Some body count you xtians have got there!
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
09-03-2007, 05:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Some body count you xtians have got there!
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So, I take it that you're finally converting?
OK, let's start with tithing information, VISA, Mastercard, or American Express?
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Scientific Advisor
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
09-03-2007, 03:28 PM
What a pleasure serving such a Kickass™ God!
Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
09-04-2007, 02:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
So, I take it that you're finally converting?
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Where on Earth did you get that idea?
Quote:
OK, let's start with tithing information, VISA, Mastercard, or American Express?
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Let's not.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
09-04-2007, 06:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Where on Earth did you get that idea?
Let's not. 
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Dear Ms. Van Buttspring! Our JOO lawyers have completed an accounting review of the people who use the forum most but haven't ponied up. Your share comes to US$8,621.66. Please remit the amount, in full, within the next week.
Thanks
Pastor Al.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
09-04-2007, 06:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Dear Ms. Van Buttspring! Our JOO lawyers have completed an accounting review of the people who use the forum most but haven't ponied up. Your share comes to US$8,621.66. Please remit the amount, in full, within the next week.
Thanks
Pastor Al.
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Lo siento, sir, pero no entiendo inglés. No puedo entender las implicaciones de estas figuras numéricas que has presentado aquí. ¿Aparece ser una piña atada a una parte muy inconveniente de tu anatomía, no?
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
09-04-2007, 12:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Lo siento, sir, pero no entiendo inglés. No puedo entender las implicaciones de estas figuras numéricas que has presentado aquí. ¿Aparece ser una piña atada a una parte muy inconveniente de tu anatomía, no?
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What's that? You're looking for a job now? You can cook, clean and do other maid duties, wink wink? We don't hire people to wink here!
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
09-04-2007, 11:17 PM
Actually, I was asking the good Pastor if his grouchiness is related to a pineapple stuck.....never mind.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
09-27-2007, 04:38 PM
Thanks to Jesus choosing to bless us with Google translation:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
I feel it, to sir, but I do not understand English. I cannot understand the implications of these numerical figures that you have presented/displayed here. Aparece to be a fragmentation hand grenade tied to a very inconvenient part of your anatomy, no?
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Rache, your writing skills are even worse than Hitoshi's. You don't understand the numerical figures? Their message is clear: Jesus has had his followers kill a quarter-BILLION (that's with a B, Rache) people who displeased him. And now you want to displease him enough to be number 250,000,001?
You think your money is too good for Him?
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
09-27-2007, 11:51 PM
What???
What awful online translator did you use? 
There was nothing about hand grenade in the original, it couldn't distinguish pineapple from hand grenade??? Eesh!
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
10-01-2007, 06:50 AM
Unfortunatly Hitler was an occultic satanist so we may not be able to count those. Too bad, alot of jews in there. I was wondering also if you can break that count down by denomination. Seems like the catholics have pulled way ahead. Got any ideas how we baptists could ever catch up.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
10-01-2007, 07:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Al Shipton
Unfortunatly Hitler was an occultic satanist so we may not be able to count those. Too bad, alot of jews in there. I was wondering also if you can break that count down by denomination. Seems like the catholics have pulled way ahead. Got any ideas how we baptists could ever catch up.
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The book of Revelations holds the answer to that question. Praise Jesus! God is a killer. Jesus will return as a warrior. Look at the Book of Revelations and you'll find out that Jesus is going to come back as a killer. And don't you forget that. God will kill a third of the population, a third of the earth.
Quote:
Revelations 19:12 His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself.
19:13 And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God.
19:14 And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean.
19:15 And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.
19:16 And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS.
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Now THAT gets an AMEN! Shout it at the top of your lungs boy! AMEN!!!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
10-09-2007, 06:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Dear Ms. Van Buttspring! Our JOO lawyers have completed an accounting review of the people who use the forum most but haven't ponied up. Your share comes to US$8,621.66. Please remit the amount, in full, within the next week.
Thanks
Pastor Al.
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Oooh how much do i owe?
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
10-09-2007, 08:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cavinaugh17
Oooh how much do i owe?
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Depends. You've already blasphemed the Holy Spirit, right? That's the one unforgivable sin, so if you've done it there's no salvation for you.
How much do the unsavable unsaved owe us? Once Biblical Law is returned to America, we will be providing faith-based services to heathens, services that will be paid for by user fees. How much will those fees be? Well, that depends if they stand still, or insist on being a moving target. Bullets are getting expensive these days, and for obvious reasons we will need payment in advance.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
10-09-2007, 08:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Lo siento, sir, pero no entiendo inglés. No puedo entender las implicaciones de estas figuras numéricas que has presentado aquí. ¿Aparece ser una piña atada a una parte muy inconveniente de tu anatomía, no?
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I have no idea how I missed this!
I don't care if you don't speak English, you tart; I'll be happy to explain the amount you owe in any language you like, and SHOVE A GODDAMN PINEAPPLE UP YOUR OWN ASS!  
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
01-05-2008, 10:34 PM
The recent persecution we're suffering under the hordes of Japanese-brainwashed game addicts as made we realize that I forgot to include Shintoism on this list.
In world war 2 The Shinto god, Emperor Hirohito, smote 20,000,000 Chinese, 1,000,000 vietnamese, 2,680,000 japanese and maybe half a million others. I'll round it off at 24,000,000, 24 million smitings.
Thus, the Japanese are almost exactly one tenth as God-fearing as Christians are.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
01-06-2008, 07:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Obey
Only those who love the peace of Jesus deserve to live.
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So why exactly is it that you're against Catholics?
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
01-06-2008, 07:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Dragon
So why exactly is it that you're against Catholics? 
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Because they are satanists. Take a look at THIS.
Now maybe you can tell us why exactly you hate Jesus?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: The official deity bodycount -
05-24-2008, 02:42 PM
But surely, fellow christains, this means that we are losing the war. only a quarter of a billion people killed in our lords name in history and yet more heathens than that live today. Shouldwe not step up the crusade in the name of the lord and take the fight to the heathens
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allah, anabaptists, bodycounts, chinks japs and gooks, communism, emocaust: millions dead, free markets = freedom, god’s wrath, hindus and their monkey gods, history, holocaust, jesus, jews and their damn lies, paganism, red holocaust, shoah: teach the controversy, statistics, taiping rebellion  |
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