[Ezekiel Bathfire]

I have watched in disbelief as state after state has ignored God and approved gay marriage. But I will not sit idly by and watch our children, the flower of the nation, being created by unnatural means or handed by irresponsible judges into the hands of abominations – lesbians, queers, drag-queens, etc.

I have spoken with Pastor Zeke and he has agreed that Landover will release $2,000,000 to start the Landover Underground Railroad Initiative Division (LURID) in which those minors who are kidnapped, held, or otherwise detained in “same-sex couples’” homes will be liberated, returned to their natural parent and de-programmed.

The children will be taken by night from the homes and driven to a series of houses of sympathetic True Christians™ located throughout the USA. They will be fed and watered, given light laboring tasks to learn diligence and suffering and be read verses from Exodus and Leviticus at each opportunity. They then will be ferried on in the trunk of a car to the next staging post.

Security will mean that the time from liberation to reunification will rarely be less than two months.

At the same time, we will approach the real parent – the normal one – and arrange for him or her to be given a new identity and be relocated to a fresh address. This is where the now liberated child[ren] will arrive.

Books will be provided for homeschooling, weaponry will be provided for defense against state intervention, alarm systems throughout the property will be installed, and regular visits will be made by Landover Security.

During the first three months, and on a daily basis, de-programming will take place. Highlights from this will be such things as:
(i) Video of “daddy and daddy” having vigorous anal intercourse or mommy with an unfeasibly large “strap-on” dealing with the other mommy as their numerous cats look on.
(ii) Controlled attacks by night by actors as homo-pedophiles.
(iii) Mild electric shocks while being shown picture of cross-dressers, catholics and democrats.
(iv) Scenes from juvenile psychiatric hospitals of inmates who were not rescued or who refused treatment.
(v) Constant repetition of suitable Bible verses warning of unnatural acts, the fires of Hell and their direct correlation.
all while under a regime of restricted calorie intake and sleep- and/or sensory-deprivation*

Thereafter, quarterly assessments will be made to see if the subject and parent are spiritually resilient enough to be able to leave the protected environment and, if they are, the new normal family will be ready to be introduced to a chosen partner OF THE OPPOSITE SEX from among the columns of Landover Christian Lonely Hearts.

Earlier, more stringent de-programming proved successful but with some collateral damage to the child or parent. This new Utopian system of making families American again is much improved and gives us every confidence that the problems have been ironed out.

Prices start as low as $10,000 and offer to opportunity to purchase advantageous options that increase the likelihood of success.

We regret at the moment we are unable to deal with ‘people of color’ as they are not as amenable to learning.

Please contact me or Pastor Zeke at the usual address and make sure you pass this offer on to friends, relatives and those in need. (We are aslo are interested in dealing with any children at all in this dreadful position even if you don't know them particularly well.)

YIC

E Bathfire.




*in trials, we have found this to be the most effective methods as previous trials with various drugs, etc, seemed to have distracted the subjects’ concentration.

[Mary Etheldreda]

I thank you, Pastor, and I pray for you, that Satan would not target you specifically for thwarting his evil agenda. Your work isn't just for the children (but no one thinks of the children any more), but for everyone who values Freedom and Liberty and opposes Tyranny and Communism. Fewer and fewer people will stand up to the Gay Agenda Bully Machine, and fewer still will do anything helpful. Landover Underground Railroad is a blessing to all children everywhere. It offers hope where there is now only tears and sodomy.

Thank you! From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

LGBTQXYZ-friendly store worn down by Big Sodomy displays clothing with
the modern definition of love and family as celebrated by "same sex marriages."

This is what we're fighting against, people!

[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda

...

Does that come in XXXXL? 80k is coming up soon.

[Witch Hammer]

I actually agree with that sentiment, as it applies to the deep love shared between God the Father and His son, Jesus.
Luke 22:69

Hereafter shall the Son of man sit on the right hand of the power of God.

But the homers like to twist anything pure and true into filth to be used as grist for the Big Sodomy mill.

[WWJDnow]

We'd better do exorcisms on these poor kids before we place them in good True Christian™ homes. Remember a few years ago when we accidentally loosed that homosexual demon on a community of unsuspecting Mennonites? There were horse parts scattered across half of Pennsylvania. I still have nighmares over that one.

[alooneymormon]

Any of you good people ever looked up the legal definition of kidnapping?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by WWJDnow

We'd better do exorcisms on these poor kids before we place them in good True Christian™ homes. Remember a few years ago when we accidentally loosed that homosexual demon on a community of unsuspecting Mennonites? There were horse parts scattered across half of Pennsylvania. I still have nighmares over that one.

Good point. Our crack team of Landover Ladies Prayer Warrior Brides of Christ are beginning to pencil in Prayer Attack dates on the calendar now.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

I'm in California, and will happily help you out; there are so many lezbeans here in the forsaken state, and a child's saved soul is worth the cost! "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." Galations 6:7