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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Lightbulb Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 09-26-2007, 11:40 PM

Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/docs...A000000264.cfm
...the boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son...He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger.
That's right. Want your kid to grow up straight? Put him in an environment where he "cannot help but notice" large penises. Works every time.

James Dobson's Focus on the Family has also posted a delightful series of articles on how to instill your children with the proper "gender identification." The first piece is called "Is my child becoming a homosexual?" and it basically says that if your child exhibits "gender confusion," there's a good chance that he'll turn into a fruit:

Evidences of gender confusion or doubt in boys ages 5 to 11 may include:
1. A strong feeling that they are "different" from other boys.
So if your son is different from other boys, he's well on his way to becoming a homosexual. Make sure to stamp out his individuality at all costs, and discourage him from developing any original thoughts or ideas.
2. A tendency to cry easily, be less athletic, and dislike the roughhousing that other boys enjoy.
And make sure that Remember to make up for Timmy's lack of athleticism by screaming at him during Little League sporting events, and fighting with the other parents.

All heterosexual males enjoy sports because it involves getting hot and sweating with a bunch of guys, taking mass showers, slapping backs and et ceteras, and dominating other guys through physical abuse. Those that engage in this behavior the most are ideal examples of straightness.
3. A persistent preference to play female roles in make-believe play.
If you catch your toddler trying on mommy's shoes, slap him.
4. A strong preference to spend time in the company of girls and participate in their games and other pastimes.
Similarly, don't let your daughters hang around boys who like spending time with girls. You can read more about this in another Focus on the Family article, called "Is My Daughter Becoming a Fag Hag?"
5. A susceptibility to be bullied by other boys, who may tease them unmercifully and call them "odd," "fag" and "gay."
Pretty self-explainatory.
6. A tendency to walk, talk, dress and even "think" effeminately.
Yes, even if your son walks, talks and dresses like a man, there could be covert gayness lurking deep within his thoughts. You might want to hook him up to an E-Meter and show him pictures of Chippendale dancers to see if he gets aroused. (And if he does, seek professional help.)
7. A repeatedly stated desire to be — or insistence that he is — a girl.
If your child is experiencing several signs of gender confusion, professional help is available. It's best to seek that help before your child reaches puberty.

And definitely before he buys his first Cher album.
"By the time the adolescent hormones kick in during early adolescence, a full-blown gender identity crisis threatens to overwhelm the teenager," warns psychologist Dr. James Dobson.
To compound the problem, many of these teens experience "great waves of guilt accompanied by secret fears of divine retribution."
Fears that are completely justified, mind you: if God catches your son playing with dolls, He's liable to smack the turdloaves out of him.

In short, if your boy isn’t out there beating up on smaller children, if they get good grades and they like to try to get along with everyone, well, there're certainly gay. Boys that are bright, precocious, social and relational, and artistically talented are not only gay, they're "bottom" gay.

On the subject of lesbianism:

Focus on the Family has pointed out that girls must be supervised by men when going to the bathroom to prevent any possibility of non hetero behavior. However, there is no need to be excessively worried about girls because they can be forcibly impregnated, that being their only purpose after all.

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 10-16-2009 at 08:26 AM.
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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 09-27-2007, 12:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post

On the subject of lesbianism:

Focus on the Family has pointed out that girls must be supervised by men when going to the bathroom to prevent any possibility of non hetero behavior. However, there is no need to be excessively worried about girls because they can be forcibly impregnated, that being their only purpose after all.
Brother Jeb, I'm all over that. My daughters never get a moment alone without me being there. Or at least one of my male servants.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 09-27-2007, 12:17 AM

I've always considered Pastor Dobson to be a bit liberal, but he is dead on this time.

I am more than a little annoyed, however, that he didn't cite all his sources. This sounds all too similar to an article that Pastor Deacon Fred wrote three years ago.

Pastor Billy-Reuben


Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 09-27-2007, 12:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
4. A strong preference to spend time in the company of girls and participate in their games and other pastimes.
This is especially important, I think. When my son Joshua was thirteen, he started expressing a lot of interest in going over to girls' houses and "hanging out" with them, and I became very alarmed—I knew that having too many female friends is a big red warning sign that a boy is turning out gay. My husband and I refused to let him go near them and made him join the wrestling team so he wouldn't have any spare time during which he might be tempted to gossip about George Clooney. Then, one night, he came home from practice holding hands and chatting amicably with a girl from his class. I felt like I'd been shot—surely this was one of the "fag hags" our pastor had warned us about. We sat there stunned, trying to decide how to deal with this, while they went upstairs. After regaining our composure, we followed them up to Josh's room and heard them giggling together inside, probably ogling a center spread of Matthew McConaughey or some other "hunk." Gary smashed down the door and told the Jezebel to get off his property by the count of ten or else he'd strangle her (he has a way of exaggerating sometimes ). As she ran screaming from the room, Gary ripped off Joshua's gym shorts and boxers, gagged him with a tube sock, and pinned him down stomach-first on the carpet, then straddled him and started whipping his rear end with a leather belt. I quietly tiptoed downstairs and put the pepper steak on—Gary stayed up there and disciplined him for the next three or so hours.

Thanks to my husband's tough but tender love, we're pretty sure Joshua is going to turn out as straight and well-adjusted as one of Landover's pastors. Thank God!


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17 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
1 Thess 4:16-17
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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 09-27-2007, 02:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
I've always considered Pastor Dobson to be a bit liberal, but he is dead on this time. Pastor Billy-Reuben
My thoughts exactly, but I would add that corporal punishment should be the focal point of the process. Although Focus on the Family is a competitor of ours, I think we should share our "Spanked Straight" program with them.


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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 09-27-2007, 08:38 PM

Homosexuality is a disease... as contagious as polio... as infectious as syphilis... as virulent as the bubonic plague... as debilitating as the AIDS.... as annoying as Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS)... attacking one, but affecting all. Ah, but curable!
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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 09-27-2007, 09:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by the linked article
A number of them had traits that could be considered gifts: bright, precocious, social and relational and artistically talented.
Such things are cause for concern in themselves, not just because they are linked to sodomy. Bright and precocious people tend to want to think for themselves, something that the Bible forbids and that has an alarming tendency to lead to apostasy.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 09-28-2007, 04:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Brother Jeb, I'm all over that. My daughters never get a moment alone without me being there. Or at least one of my male servants.
Amen. There very wrong on this point. We have always watched are little girls in the bathrooms at out church. We even go to the extreme of helping them clean themselves, lest they learn to love virgina. By not letting them "play" with themselves, or more importantly another girls, we have never had a girl in the church go "lezzie". I truly think that by early introduction of what they should be playing with, they grow up knowing what they are suppose to become. A loving, obediant christian wife.

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 09-28-2007 at 06:59 PM. Reason: Typo fixed
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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 09-29-2007, 08:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lord warrior View Post
We even go to the extreme of helping them clean themselves, lest they learn to love virgina.
I've always taken this approach with my sons. The last thing America needs is more males discovering the pleasures of butt-rubbing. Pity my prototype rectal chastity belts keep having wardrobe malfunctions. Sphincters are the main front of the War On Terror, if you ask me.
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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 11-03-2007, 04:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
I've always taken this approach with my sons. The last thing America needs is more males discovering the pleasures of butt-rubbing. Pity my prototype rectal chastity belts keep having wardrobe malfunctions. Sphincters are the main front of the War On Terror, if you ask me.



Why don't you just savagely whip any child who has even the slightest notions of being gay?


Oh, and are you guys against Westboro? They call every soldier gay, and hate america.
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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 11-03-2007, 05:02 PM

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Originally Posted by Celtic View Post
Why don't you just savagely whip any child who has even the slightest notions of being gay?
What makes you think we don't friend? Are you suggesting we don't love our children?

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Originally Posted by Celtic View Post
Oh, and are you guys against Westboro? They call every soldier gay, and hate america.
Westboro is right to point out homerism in the US military is losing the War of Terror for us. However that is no excuse to hate Jesus Favorite Country®.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 11-04-2007, 05:42 AM

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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
What makes you think we don't friend? Are you suggesting we don't love our children?



Westboro is right to point out homerism in the US military is losing the War of Terror for us. However that is no excuse to hate Jesus Favorite Country®.

Hmm. What vabout soldiers who've never been homos? And then they call God a terrorist.Kinda freaky cultish, I think.
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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 11-04-2007, 06:21 AM

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Originally Posted by Celtic View Post

Hmm. What vabout soldiers who've never been homos? ...
The US military is probably crawling with homers, and the ones that aren't are being exposed to the danger, like a disease! This can't be good for the country, young man!


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 11-04-2007, 06:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Noddy View Post
The US military is probably crawling with homers, and the ones that aren't are being exposed to the danger, like a disease! This can't be good for the country, young man!


I'm a girl.-blink-
But I've heard of soldiers letting the homos in the army get "accidentally" shot while in battle.

JHFHGFGH

Hey, will those jerks outside setting off fireworks be sent to hell?
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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 11-04-2007, 07:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Celtic View Post

I'm a girl.-blink-
But I've heard of soldiers letting the homos in the army get "accidentally" shot while in battle.

JHFHGFGH

Hey, will those jerks outside setting off fireworks be sent to hell?
Oh so you're saying you're a girl? Sorry, I stand corrected! What does 'meep' in your signature stand for? I see you are from Canada, so what would you know about homers in the US military, missy?


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 11-04-2007, 07:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Noddy View Post
Oh so you're saying you're a girl? Sorry, I stand corrected! What does 'meep' in your signature stand for? I see you are from Canada, so what would you know about homers in the US military, missy?
She knows because in Godless cannuckistan, 100% of their "army" are french queers.

Can you name even one cannuck war hero? Even one cannuck war victory?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 11-04-2007, 04:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Celtic View Post
Hey, will those jerks outside setting off fireworks be sent to hell?
They're letting off fireworks to celebrate the death of a Catholic, so if they are, it'll be for something unrelated.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 11-04-2007, 06:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Celtic View Post

Oh, and are you guys against Westboro? They call every soldier gay, and hate america.
They do not call soldiers gay, they simply point out that soldiers fight in defense of a corrupted, sodomite-dominated, liberalized nation. They believe that True Christians should desert the military rather than bleed and die for the homosexual agenda.

They are ahead of their time. Bush is still President, and soldiers are still crusaders. If God punishes our sins by allowing Hillary to become president, THEN desertion will be mandatory, and all soldiers will indeed be sent to hell for defending sodomy.

Phelps is a bit of a renegate, that's for sure, he keeps straying far from GOP talking points, second-guessing the leadership of Karl Rove. Freedom of speech means freedom to express republican opinions in your own way, to a certain extent, and Phelps crosses the line. Yes, we agree he shold be muzzled for the time being, whether by mobs attacking them or people sueing them.

That doesn't mean we disagree with their opinions. Their opinions are solidly Bible-based. It's their timing, and their failure to be a team player within the conservative movement, that we are against.
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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 11-04-2007, 09:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
They do not call soldiers gay, they simply point out that soldiers fight in defense of a corrupted, sodomite-dominated, liberalized nation. They believe that True Christians should desert the military rather than bleed and die for the homosexual agenda.

They are ahead of their time. Bush is still President, and soldiers are still crusaders. If God punishes our sins by allowing Hillary to become president, THEN desertion will be mandatory, and all soldiers will indeed be sent to hell for defending sodomy.

Phelps is a bit of a renegate, that's for sure, he keeps straying far from GOP talking points, second-guessing the leadership of Karl Rove. Freedom of speech means freedom to express republican opinions in your own way, to a certain extent, and Phelps crosses the line. Yes, we agree he shold be muzzled for the time being, whether by mobs attacking them or people sueing them.

That doesn't mean we disagree with their opinions. Their opinions are solidly Bible-based. It's their timing, and their failure to be a team player within the conservative movement, that we are against.


Ohhh. Thanks for explaining.
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Default Re: Focus on the Family: how to cure your gay son - 11-05-2007, 02:35 AM

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Originally Posted by Sister Noddy View Post
Oh so you're saying you're a girl? Sorry, I stand corrected! What does 'meep' in your signature stand for? I see you are from Canada, so what would you know about homers in the US military, missy?

Meep.. well, nothing. I just put it there cause I was bored.
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