[Offcr. Albert Martin]

The GOOD COP is back!

Hello everyone! I know what you're thinking, but I am no longer on speaking terms with that vile ring-kisser of an older brother Tom!

As far as faith goes, I am a FREE AGENT right now (mainly because I found out my diocese is giving part of its donations to an Alynskian "Human Development" group). So with that, I don't know who to trust.

(side note: since I'm no longer with my old church, what would it take for me to join Officer Richards-who I apologize for insulting earlier while I was still drunk off Tom's brew-in his crusade to bring true JUSTICE back? He could use an ally in "good cop-bad cop" interrogations, anyway)

What would it take for me to study with your LBC group? I look forward to my name going up on the Wall of Converts you have in your sports-arena-sized worship space!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The GOOD COP is back!

Hello everyone! I know what you're thinking, but I am no longer on speaking terms with that vile ring-kisser of an older brother Tom!

As far as faith goes, I am a FREE AGENT right now (mainly because I found out my diocese is giving part of its donations to an Alynskian "Human Development" group). So with that, I don't know who to trust.

(side note: since I'm no longer with my old church, what would it take for me to join Officer Richards-who I apologize for insulting earlier while I was still drunk off Tom's brew-in his crusade to bring true JUSTICE back? He could use an ally in "good cop-bad cop" interrogations, anyway)

What would it take for me to study with your LBC group? I look forward to my name going up on the Wall of Converts you have in your sports-arena-sized worship space!

Praise Jesus! We are happy to welcome you into God's favorite forum. I've been praying hard for you for months now, in the hope that you would break with the papist cult.

Shout Glory!!

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

Sweet JESUS. Here's "Fatha" Hines, masquerading as an Officer of the Law again.



A bit early for Hellyween, isn't it, Fatha?

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

Well THIS is a surprise. What happened? Did you actually grow a pair of testicles?

The FPD isn't like your sissy precincts in the other parts of the country. Vigorous training and grueling memorization of scripture are required to pass. Think you can handle that, maggot?

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

PETITION FOR SUSPENSION OF OFFICER BORDERS

Hi everyone, I am circulating this petition around Freehold and the FPD to get Officer Borders suspended without pay for advocating divorce as a legitimate fix for broken relationships.

During his last domestic disturbance call, Borders told an arguing couple who had verbally attacked one another that it might be a good time to consider "working out a compromise, or getting a divorce."

This is cleary against 1 Corinthians 7:10-11:

10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:



11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.


Officer Borders did not even tell them not to remarry if they DID get divorced, which they shouldn't.


We, the people and guardians of Freehold hereby demand that Officer Borders be suspended for no less than four weeks without pay.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Policing Freehold

I for one am proud to have signed the petition to suspend Officer Borders. I'll have you know too that at our Breakfast Buffet we had after our morning services today, I had no less than 200 of our fellow Landover Baptist Church members sign it. Ever since that fiasco at the CVS where he let that meth-making lady go scot-free, Officer Borders has proven himself time and time again that he is inept doing police work and not Christian enough for the job.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

I don't know Officer Borders personally, but all I can say is that I don't want some bleeding-heart liberal on the force who is afraid to use his nightstick and taser, or waterboard prisoners during interrogations. It's time we stopped coddling criminals. Thanks to the commie Supreme Court, criminals think that they got "rights." Well, far as I'm concerned, the only "right" they got is to choose between the gas chamber, electric chair or a firing squad! What our whole country needs is a crackdown/cleanup campaign. It's time we started getting tough with fags, beaners, darkies and other terrorists. As Ronald Reagan used to say, "You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs."

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Policing Freehold

I don't know Officer Borders personally, but all I can say is that I don't want some bleeding-heart liberal on the force who is afraid to use his nightstick and taser, or waterboard prisoners during interrogations. It's time we stopped coddling criminals. Thanks to the commie Supreme Court, criminals think that they got "rights." Well, far as I'm concerned, the only "right" they got is to choose between the gas chamber, electric chair or a firing squad! What our whole country needs is a crackdown/cleanup campaign. It's time we started getting tough with fags, beaners, darkies and other terrorists. As Ronald Reagan used to say, "You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs."

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

"All the animals come out at night - whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.."

From a conversation I had recently with Ofc. Richards, after his 17th cup of coffee.

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

Dear Brother Buford, are the secular Police still arresting you for driving while being "schizophrenic?"

Sickening the lengths they'll go to in attempting try and drag down a True Christian

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

Dear Brother Buford, are the secular Police still arresting you for driving while being "schizophrenic?"

Sickening the lengths they'll go to in attempting try and drag down a True Christian

Dear Sister SUV,

My schizophrenia is a blessing. It allows me to do many wonderful things, like communicate with the Lord via radio transmissions sent through the fillings in my teeth. I get messages from Rush Limbaugh and Ronald Reagan too!

But anyway, I have indeed suffered persecution, though not because of schizophrenia. Sadly, I've been harassed by liberal police (some of whom are ACORN members!) simply because I'm a Christian. Of course, these "officers" who hassle me won't say that I'm being stopped for "driving while Christian," but that's what it amounts to. They take exception to my car, and particularly the loudspeakers blasting tidings from Jesus:



It's so unfair. Atheists don't believe in freedom of speech - whenever I bring the Good News of Jesus (at 100 decibels at 2 am) they immediately call the storm troopers to persecute me! Sadly, policemen down here in Wacko, Texas, aren't all so enlightened as Officer Don. You are indeed lucky to have him in Freehold!

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 13, 2009

I was out on Malachi road again today, and I saw some nasty guy in a ratty coat picking up bottles and cans and stuffing them into a black trash bag. I chirped my siren and rolled up behind him.

It was really cold today and I didn't want to get out of my cruiser so I motioned for him to come on over where I could talk to him out of my window.

"Is something wrong officer?" he asked. When perps ask this, you know they're up to no good.

"I'm just wondering why you're walking down the road in a ratty old coat stuffing crap into a trash bag." I said.

"I'm gathering up bottles and cans to take to the recycling center. When I make enough money recycling litter I'll buy a new coat." he said.

"You got a peddler's license?" I asked.

At this point the man became indignant and said he didn't even have a home, let alone a peddler's license.

"So you figured you'd just try and slip one past the law and peddle your wares to the recycling center without applying for and obtaining the proper permits to do so, huh?"

He became hostile at this point and I had to threaten him with the tazer to put his hands behind his back and stand on tippy-toes with his back to my car window so I could get the cuffs on him without getting out, and then had him open the backseat car door and get in.

I was on my way back to the station with him when I realized he had left his trash bag on the side of the road, so I had to add an additional fine for littering.

After it was all said and done, he was jailed for vagrancy, conducting business without a peddler's license, public profanity (he said the F-word), and littering.

Some people just don't want to grow up and live productive lives.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

After it was all said and done, he was jailed for vagrancy, conducting business without a peddler's license, public profanity (he said the F-word), and littering.

Some people just don't want to grow up and live productive lives.

Good job, Officer Don! That's one more criminal who won't be walking the streets endangering the lives of good white Christian folks. You probably should have charged him as a sex criminal as well, seeing how he was exposing his dirty clothes and vagrant lifestyle in full view of children!

I just don't understand these homeless people. Do they realize that if they'd just borrowed $500,000 dollars from a good subprime lender like Countrywide Financial, they could have bought a McMansion in an exclusive sururban area? Their payments would be really low for the first two years before the loan resets.

Then, if they can't pay the monthly mortgage at the new quadruple rates after the reset, all they'd have to do is take out a home equity loan and use that money to pay the original mortgage.

After they've exhausted the money from the home equity loan, then they could apply for a credit card from their bank. The credit card can be used pay the monthly mortgage at an interest rate of only 30% annually. And once that source of funds has dried up, they can apply for a new credit card from Capital One. That's a really great company - they once pre-approved a credit card for my dog, even after the dog died! Anyway, they can use the Capital One credit card to pay off the other credit card, plus the home equity loan and the original subprime loan. Plus they might put a little money aside to short the stocks of companies like Countrywide and Capital One.

Using the above Ponzi financial techniques, one could live very well indeed for at least five years before becoming homeless.

America has the greatest financial system in the world. The geniuses on Wall Street who created it certainly deserve the government-financed mega-bonuses that they are receiving. Just makes me so proud to be an American!


What's in your pocket?

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Policing Freehold

Not to change the subject entirely, but it looks like the literacy tests for gun permits are starting to pay off, especially the country music and golf trivia questions.

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

they could have bought a McMansion in an exclusive sururban area?

And they come in the most Attractive shades of Vinyl, too! Let's see: Tan, Beige, Gray....my GOD, I just can't think of them all!

Of course the large (also Vinyl) non-functioning shutters come in dark colors to accentuate it

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

And they come in the most Attractive shades of Vinyl, too! Let's see: Tan, Beige, Gray....my GOD, I just can't think of them all!

Of course the large (also Vinyl) non-functioning shutters come in dark colors to accentuate it

That's the great thing about these McMansions. They look good enough to sell for ultra-high prices (and profits!), but won't last long enough for anybody to actually pay off the mortgage. But that's OK, since nobody these days pays off the mortgage. The idea is to use financial innovation to flip the house for a profit, then get out and leave it as an abandoned foreclosed property. Then, it can become free housing for vagrants (who says we Christians don't want to help the poor!), before being gutted for plumbing fixtures and wiring, condemned, and torn down at government expense.

It's a sure winner for the buyer, who walks away after five years after turning the keys over to the bank. It's a sure winner for the banks too, who turn the mortgages into mortgage-backed securities. These junk-grade investments are then rated Triple-AAA by ratings agencies and sold to pensions funds, municipalities and even foreign banks. I especially like the idea of selling them to foreign banks - boy, I'd love to see the look on the faces of them retarded Chinese and Euroweenie CEOs when they finally discover what worthless crap they've bought!

"Financial innovation" - it's made America rich, loved and respected throughout the world.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford