[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

TUESDAY, APRIL 13, 2010

Spring is both a blessing and a curse to the FPD. On the one hand, it makes going out on patrol a lot nicer when it's warm and sunny. On the other hand, all of the rats come out of their holes when it's warm and sunny. (Or warm and night time.)

This evening I took a swing through the park to make sure everything was in order.

Now I have been saying for years that society has gotten worse and worse off, and tonight I saw even more evidence to support my claim.

I was almost out of the park when, in my rear view mirror, I witnessed what was most certainly a rape about to take place.

A Godly Christian white girl was running for all she was worth from a savage colored boy, who was chasing her around the sand pits. I turned on my lights and sirens, skidded to a halt and slammed the cruiser into reverse.

Somehow a trash can, a barbecue grill, a planter and speed limit sign got in my way, but I did not let these badly placed items deter to pursuit.

I jumped out of my cruiser and drew my tazer. I ordered the colored boy to place his hands on the back of his head and get down on the ground. Both he and the lily white Christian girl stopped and looked at me with wide eyes. His were comically big and white.

"DO IT NOW!" I screamed. He started to cry and it was obvious that he was not going to comply so I was forced to taze him. This gave him the motivation he needed to listen to the voice of reason and assume the position on the ground.

I placed the handcuffs on him immediately, and checked to make sure the winded and red-faced lily white Christian girl was okay. She started to cry too, I know it must have been very traumatic to come face to face with a colored savage like that.

Just then, I noticed a big black mama running my way. She was screaming something about her "baby boy." I detained her and she gave me some story about how "lil' Sam and Bessy-Sue were best friends" and how they were just seven year olds playing tag.

Well, if he wasn't trying to rape her, how come the little girl's dress was dirty?

At that moment, the little girl's mother also appeared, and informed me that the two children were indeed friends who were playing tag. I still wasn't entirely convinced, but I had the word of a lily white Christian mother. So I uncuffed the boy and let him go free.

Though I did take some time to talk to the mothers about how it is generally a bad idea to let children of opposite race, gender, or religion play with each other.

Over and out.

[Isaac the Joo]

Re: Policing Freehold

TUESDAY, APRIL 13, 2010

Spring is both a blessing and a curse to the FPD. On the one hand, it makes going out on patrol a lot nicer when it's warm and sunny. On the other hand, all of the rats come out of their holes when it's warm and sunny. (Or warm and night time.)

This evening I took a swing through the park to make sure everything was in order.

Now I have been saying for years that society has gotten worse and worse off, and tonight I saw even more evidence to support my claim.

I was almost out of the park when, in my rear view mirror, I witnessed what was most certainly a rape about to take place.

A Godly Christian white girl was running for all she was worth from a savage colored boy, who was chasing her around the sand pits. I turned on my lights and sirens, skidded to a halt and slammed the cruiser into reverse.

Somehow a trash can, a barbecue grill, a planter and speed limit sign got in my way, but I did not let these badly placed items deter to pursuit.

I jumped out of my cruiser and drew my tazer. I ordered the colored boy to place his hands on the back of his head and get down on the ground. Both he and the lily white Christian girl stopped and looked at me with wide eyes. His were comically big and white.

"DO IT NOW!" I screamed. He started to cry and it was obvious that he was not going to comply so I was forced to taze him. This gave him the motivation he needed to listen to the voice of reason and assume the position on the ground.

I placed the handcuffs on him immediately, and checked to make sure the winded and red-faced lily white Christian girl was okay. She started to cry too, I know it must have been very traumatic to come face to face with a colored savage like that.

Just then, I noticed a big black mama running my way. She was screaming something about her "baby boy." I detained her and she gave me some story about how "lil' Sam and Bessy-Sue were best friends" and how they were just seven year olds playing tag.

Well, if he wasn't trying to rape her, how come the little girl's dress was dirty?

At that moment, the little girl's mother also appeared, and informed me that the two children were indeed friends who were playing tag. I still wasn't entirely convinced, but I had the word of a lily white Christian mother. So I uncuffed the boy and let him go free.

Though I did take some time to talk to the mothers about how it is generally a bad idea to let children of opposite race, gender, or religion play with each other.

Over and out.

A very gallant job, Officer Richards. It is a pity the white mother saw fit to step in and help the little coloured boy. People should learn that they do not have to be scared of being accused of discrimination in this modern world, and stand up for their rights in the face of oppression.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Policing Freehold

BRAVO and well done Officer Richards.

I have no doubt you just prevented another pre-teen pregnancy and saved the over burdened tax payers from one more future welfare recipient!

SHOUT GLORY!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Policing Freehold

Another good piece of work, Officier. We live in a dangerous society and one can never be too careful.
JJH

[Alfred King]

Re: Policing Freehold

children of opposite race

How could that ever be an issue?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Policing Freehold

How could that ever be an issue?

Why did you not leave town yet?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Policing Freehold

How could that ever be an issue?

Your people are the ones filling America's prisons.

Think about it, boy.

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

the colored boy

It was that monster SHANE, all stooped over and in "blackface." I Know® it must have been him!

Yams in Cream,

SUV

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

It was that monster SHANE, all stooped over and in "blackface." I Know® it must have been him!

Yams in Cream,

SUV

You know I hadn't thought of that until just now. I should've asked for an ID.

I am going to be keeping a lot closer eye on Shane than ever before, I hadn't taken into consideration that he was a sex pervert child molester. I wonder if he's Catholic?

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Policing Freehold

A white woman allowing her young daughter to play with a darkie - well, we shouldn't be surprised. Liberals have been advocating for years that the races should be mixed. It all started with freeing the slaves, then school busing, allowing mixed marriages - and we've got Obama as the result.

Of course, True Christians home-school their kids, which helps to avoid contact with the darker races (not to mention learning blasphemy like socialism and the global warming hoax). But if you really want to prevent your children from getting dangerous ideas, you need to take stronger action.

That's why my company recently started a juvenile boot camp. Conveniently located in the Dominican Republic (where child abuse laws are lax), your son or daughter can enjoy warm tropical weather while getting a good Christian education and strict discipline.



Our rigorous curriculum includes Bible study, Republican indoctrination, abstinence-only sex education, plus fun activities such as target shooting and water boarding. Good news: If your child suffers from obesity, we can cure that too - most of our students lose 30% of their body weight in just a few months.


Formerly obese 18-year-old
after only 3 weeks of study

Prices begin at only $3000/month, but there are discounts if you enroll 3 or more children. I hope you'll take advantage of this exciting program. I can assure you that your children will never forgive forget it!

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

I apologize for being away for so long. Over the last month I've been preparing for a court case that is taking place next Monday.

For those of you that didn't hear about it directly from me, I was on a routine patrol last month on 4/24/2010 when I saw a young man who was working on a pickup truck parked in his driveway.

At first glance nothing was out of the ordinary, but Officers of the Law can see things normal people don't. As I inspected the scene a glint caught my eye. There was an open can of beer sitting on the roof of the pickup.

I pulled over and approached the hooligan.

"I see you've got an open container there."

He responded plainly, "I'm on my own property."

"You got an ID?" I asked.

He presented me a driver's license. The DOB was 4/2/1989. I added it up in my head.

"You're too young to drink alcohol. Put your hands behind your back."

"Are you crazy?" He snapped.

"You were born on April 2nd, 1989. This is April 24, 2010. You are 20 years old."

"I turned 21 on the second of this month! That was 22 days ago!"

I added it again on my fingers just to double-check. This time I actually found out I had made an error and he was only 19!

"Nice try, but you just screwed the pooch mister. You're actually 19!"

"DUDE! What the f***!" He exclaimed. Now we had a charge of public profanity to add to the list.

He attempted to reason: "Okay look, April 2, 1989 to April 2, 1999 is how many years? 10 right? So, 1999 to 2010 is what? 11. So 10 plus 11 equals what?"

He was trying to confuse me with numbers. But it wasn't going to work. I had already figured out that 1989 to 2010 is 19 years, and he was just being argumentative. After all, what's 9 plus 10?

1989 + 2010 = 19, duh.

(I already have these equations written out on a poster board in bright red ink for Monday.)

He was resisting at this point so I had to take him down in the old Richards way. When we got back to the PD, I booked the little punk and he was given his own little cell. He demanded a lawyer, like all criminals do.

We were very busy with paper work and it was Pizza Night, and his request for a lawyer was simply forgotten. We had to let him out the next day anyway, and we just told him the phone wasn't working so he couldn't call a lawyer anyway. (That was my idea.)

However, I insisted that I get to write him a citation, and all of my friends in the locker room agreed that I should, so I did.

Now, he's taking me to court over the matter. The court date is this Monday, and I am certain that I am going to win. I expect that all my good True Christian friends will be there to cheer me on and watch me beat the false accusations and allegations of "brutality" this little queer is slandering me with.

Over and out.

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Re: Policing Freehold

I bet the punk has a GED. Make sure the judge knows that and you have a degree in law enforcement.

No need for expert witnesses, just impugn his credentials.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Policing Freehold

I can tell you, Officer Richards, the citizens of Freehold appreciate the work you do.

No one wants to live in a City where alcohol is consumed by young people who are, or are close to, being underage.

[Nathan B. Forrest]

Re: Policing Freehold

I expect that all my good True Christian friends will be there to cheer me on and watch me beat the false accusations and allegations of "brutality" this little queer is slandering me with.

Over and out.

You are darned-tootin right Officer Don!!! I and the rest of my clan will be there to cheer the good ol' Freehold PD on at this sham of a trial!!!! Keep up the good work Officer Don, all of us here appreciate the good police-work y'all do every day by keeping them queers, meth-heads, and other cathlicks out of our community!!

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

Bless all of you Mens once again for ciphering up all of those nerve-wracking mathematical calculations, Officer Don.

Why, just imagine what might happen if We Ladies were called upon to do such! JESUS!