No, I will not denounce Twilight for you. Not even for $20k.

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

It seems every few weeks I get an offer from some Hellyweird slime asking me to denounce their latest project.
Apparently, if they can get all the big names in Christianity to denounce their project, it acts as a promotion for it.

This latest movie I cannot get on board with denouncing. No, I don't care that you got Robertson to denounce it.

Reverend Phelps and I are huge Twilight fans!

From some femiNazi blog.

Why? Because, even though she’s the “star” of the story, she’s still in a weak position. She is the one lacking power, the one who must be rescued or saved or pursued. A hero uses his strength, talent, or wit to overcome obstacles and prove his worth (or lack of it)—in a myriad of ways, thus the many plots available for heroes. A heroine just needs to find a man. That’s why she only needs one plot, right?

Yes. Twilight teaches girls how to behave as God intended for them to!

1 Timothy 2:11-12 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

Bella is a role model for young women. She is constantly cooking and cleaning as she should be.
Edward is a Christ-like figure that is resurrected and only wants Bella's love. Just like Jesus only wants our love!

So no! I will not denounce your movie. I am here to tell all young women to go and see Twilight over and over again.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: No, I will not denounce Twilight for you. Not even for $20k.

It seems every few weeks I get an offer from some Hellyweird slime asking me to denounce their latest project.
Apparently, if they can get all the big names in Christianity to denounce their project, it acts as a promotion for it.

Brother, is this true?

They pay Christian leaders to denounce their projects? Cash money?

Well, I'm offended! Never, not once, has my congregation (The Second Baptist Church of North Salem, Indiana) denounced a project for money. Never!

Why, we've never even been asked!

Is it because we've been doing it for free? (I never knew we could charge!) Or is this the sort of thing a congregation needs an agent for? Can you recommend someone?

[Art Speir]

Re: No, I will not denounce Twilight for you. Not even for $20k.

Edward is a Christ-like figure that is resurrected and only wants Bella's love.

Edward is also a vampire. One of my sisters reads the books and watches the movies. Vampires are blood suckers much like those who worship satan.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Vampires are blood suckers much like those who worship satan.

You do know vampires are make believes, like leprechauns and elves?

Glory!
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[Art Speir]

Re: No, I will not denounce Twilight for you. Not even for $20k.

You do know vampires are make believes, like leprechauns and elves?

Glory!
Posted via Mobile Device

I do know they are I was just making a statement because several sadists believe they exist. I just wanted to point that out. So I thought that showing people movies about such things would make them believe and want to worship satan. Just like the Harry Potter books are also make believe but people still think that kind of magic is real. I figured it might be the same for Vampires.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: No, I will not denounce Twilight for you. Not even for $20k.

I do know they are I was just making a statement because several sadists believe they exist. I just wanted to point that out. So I thought that showing people movies about such things would make them believe and want to worship satan. Just like the Harry Potter books are also make believe but people still think that kind of magic is real. I figured it might be the same for Vampires.

Why are you obsessed with the occult and rambling on about it? All these fairy tales are ways to distract from the love of God.

1 Timothy 4:7 But refuse profane and old wives' fables, and exercise thyself rather unto godliness.

2 Timothy 4:4 And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.

[Didymus Much]

Re: No, I will not denounce Twilight for you. Not even for $20k.

...Just like the Harry Potter books are also make believe but people still think that kind of magic is real. I figured it might be the same for Vampires.

Are witches and magic in the Bible?

Are vampires in the Bible?

[UnSafe&UnSound]

Re: No, I will not denounce Twilight for you. Not even for $20k.

You do know that Twilight has some of the worst grammar ever, right? I could probably write something with better grammar when I was 12. Bella and Edward are Mary-Sues. End of. And Bella isn't someone I would aspire to be, not ever! She is moany, annoying, can't stand up for herself, indecisive and really, really annoying. And don't get me started on the vampires in it, I mean they sparkle, in the sun? What?

And how do you chuckle darkly? I wouldn't see Breaking Wind: Fart 2 if you paid me! Go read a half decent book, like the Hunger Games!

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: No, I will not denounce Twilight for you. Not even for $20k.

You do know that Twilight has some of the worst grammar ever, right? I could probably write something with better grammar when I was 12. Bella and Edward are Mary-Sues. End of.

Hmm, somehow I think you left out a phrase or two! You can't criticize someone's grammar and then immediately lay an egg like that!

And Bella isn't someone I would aspire to be, not ever! She is moany, annoying, can't stand up for herself, indecisive and really, really annoying.

And this is different from every other woman how, exactly?

[Bob4God]

Re: No, I will not denounce Twilight for you. Not even for $20k.

Are witches and magic in the Bible?

Are vampires in the Bible?

I don't know what you're implying, sir, but we don't call it "magic," we call it a miracle.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: No, I will not denounce Twilight for you. Not even for $20k.

I don't know what you're implying, sir, but we don't call it "magic," we call it a miracle.

Brother, I think the atheistard is finally coming around! He's realizing that witches and their evil magic are in the Bible, thus real, while vampires are not, because they are make-believe.

Glory! He's seeing the light!

[UnSafe&UnSound]

Re: No, I will not denounce Twilight for you. Not even for $20k.

Do you really want to know who I aspire to be like? I aspire to be like a lot of people, Bella Swan not being one. How about I give you three, and I don't care if you bash them, because really, you don't have their talents...
1)Helena Bonham Carter- a legend of great acting
2)J.R.R Tolkien-Author of Lord of the Rings and creator of 5 languages
3)John Deacon-Bass guitarist of Queen. A real legend.

And all women are moany, annoying etc. Sorry mate but you are barking up the wrong tree there!

And here's a good joke for you!

Write your screen-name:Safe&Sound
With your elbow: safed7sxlojun cd
With your nose:wsaqrfe7ws087jhe
Bash your head against the keyboard! My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down. It was seventy five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue. I was wearing my favorite shirt - sleeve-less, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture. My carry-on item was a parka.

Oh no! I started to write Twilight!

[Bill R. Briscoe]

Re: No, I will not denounce Twilight for you. Not even for $20k.

Do you really want to know who I aspire to be like?

If the answer isn't Jesus Christ, then no. No, I don't want to know.

I aspire to be like a lot of people, Bella Swan not being one. How about I give you three, and I don't care if you bash them, because really, you don't have their talents...

You're going to go ahead after I already said no? Ok, let's take a look at these not Jesus idols you have.

1)Helena Bonham Carter- a legend of great acting

I don't know who this is, but I can't only assume that she's related to the WORST president the United States has ever known. That affiliation alone puts you on thin ice for the rest of this god-mocking list. As if you hadn't already plunged into the icy waters of eternal damnation, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for now.

2)J.R.R Tolkien-Author of Lord of the Rings and creator of 5 languages

Genesis 11:6
And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.

It's bad enough that Mr. Tolkien feels the need to disobey God and create new unGodly languages, but he has to be the grandfather of Dungeons and Dragons. If you're looking for moral depravity, look no further.

3)John Deacon-Bass guitarist of Queen. A real legend.

Not only does he make "music" in a fag band that sings about riding a bicycle , but he plays bass? Talk about being the choir boy to the pope, my heavens. We are to sing HIGH praises of the Lord, not these low blaring brown notes.

So that's your list, eh? Here's how it should have read:

1) Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.
2) See #1
3) See #2, and additionally, #1

If you have any further questions about which idol to worship in the future, I'll just leave this here for you to read.

[Rupture Joey]

Re: No, I will not denounce Twilight for you. Not even for $20k.

Personally I have not seen or read twilight but have heard that it was a better book. This is something that happens a lot when filmmakers transfer books to the big screen. But I'm probably missing the case and point, aren't I?

[Bill R. Briscoe]

Re: No, I will not denounce Twilight for you. Not even for $20k.

But I'm probably missing the case and point, aren't I?

Here's the case:

Here's the point:

I rest my case.
Hallelujah!