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  • The Miracle at Zeke’s Place.

    I know that you will have experienced the same thing…

    The Power of God is with us all and in us all. It is a wondrous Power that may have its effects on the most surprising occasions. It can manifest itself when least expected but is always a demonstration of God’s magnificence – you simply have to recognize it as such.

    A lot of people put things down to mere chance – “One of those things that happen”, “Something that has an earthly origin rather than a heavenly one.” This is such a mistake as it rejects 50% of God’s Deeds.

    We have all heard of cases where, for example someone is driving their child home from school and is hit, head-on, by a semi. The driver dies in the mangled wreckage but, by some wonderful miracle, the child survives unscathed.

    “It’s a miracle that he survived” is the cry – and yet… and yet the full miracle is God’s sending the trucker to sleep at precisely the right moment so that the accident would occur.

    Just think of how difficult it would be for us to do this. We would have to know both the car driver’s and the trucker’s entire life and arrange for them to be in exactly the right place at exactly the right time and for the truck and the car to meet. And we would have to arrange for the car to crumple in precisely the right manner and for the car driver’s head, upper torso and pelvic area to be crushed and shattered by sharp metal at the same time as the area around the child to be harmless.

    I must emphasize: If God miraculously saved the child – He also miraculously arranged the crash.

    There are liars who call themselves Christian and there are false prophets who preach that God does not do bad things: They have it wrong – Everything that God does is Good! He cannot do a bad thing. When he says

    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?

    Exodus 4:11 And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD?


    It means that these are a good action and/or the results of a good action.

    This brings me to the barn-raising that I went to some 25 years ago.
    ______________________________

    The Miracle at Pastor Zeke's Place

    The older members here will know it as “That barn-raising” – it was not exactly a barn, it was the raising the walls, windows and roof of Pastor Zeke’s swimming pool.

    The whole thing was bought and paid for by your kind donations. It was justified by the very real threat of a repetition of the incident in which Pastor Zeke was working on one of his remarkable sermons when he became fatigued and thought that swimming in his pool would revive his ardor for the work. He stripped off and went towards the pool but it was raining… His swim thus ruined, his day was ruined and that sermon – potentially one of the greatest ever written – was never completed.

    But to the story:

    The building was to be a copy of King David’s House for the Lord God as described in the Bible:
    1Ch:22:14: Now, behold, in my trouble I have prepared for the house of the LORD an hundred thousand talents of gold, and a thousand thousand talents of silver; and of brass and iron without weight; for it is in abundance: timber also and stone have I prepared; and thou mayest add thereto.
    1Ch:22:15: Moreover there are workmen with thee in abundance, hewers and workers of stone and timber, and all manner of cunning men for every manner of work.
    1Ch:22:16: Of the gold, the silver, and the brass, and the iron, there is no number. Arise therefore, and be doing, and the LORD be with thee.

    Almost all of the congregation joined in – the tin tithers as laborers, the silver tithers as designers and advisors, the gold tithers as management, platinum tithers as consultants, and the pastors as members of the Board of Christian Oversight.

    The timbers and stone had arrived the previous evening with the brass and iron. The gold and silver fittings were delivered on the day by Bobby-Joe’s Security business “The Wreathen Chains” [named for Ex:28:25: And the other two ends of the two wreathen chains thou shalt fasten in the two ouches, and put them on the shoulderpieces of the ephod before it.]

    By about 11 a.m., the foundations holes for the uprights had been dug, and were ready for the cedar wood walls to be placed upon them. (Interestingly, and to avoid confusion, these walls were known as “the Wailing Wall, The Moaning Wall, The Crying Wall, and The Howling Wall.)

    Now, the timber had been delivered in planks cut to length – each plank was numbered and required little more than nailing to its neighbor and to the uprights. The finished walls were then to be nailed together and the rafters and roof put in place. The whole place would then be kitted out with the decorations fitting for The Lord and Zeke (in that order.)

    Around 1 pm, there was a break for prayers and a meal. Now it seems that there had been a mistake in the amount of wine to be delivered – the decision had been that only the platinum tithers and the pastors would partake of wine (symbolically, in the manner of the Disciples at the Last Supper) but about 10 times the number of crates appeared and the excess was requisition by the "other tithers."

    It was during this break that pastor “One-eyed” Jack and I found ourselves sitting on some large, very heavy boxes that contained 18” bolts and nuts. I remember that I meant to ask what these were for but we were discussing the meaning of Ec:4:2: Wherefore I praised the dead which are already dead more than the living which are yet alive. and then we were approached by Miss Daisy-Mae who wanted to know when we wanted the marching band to appear.

    The nuts and bolts thus left my mind and Jack and I decided that, as the job was progressing well, and the wine was better quality that we had expected, that the band ought to be good to appear around 6:30 pm, at which time the roof would be in place.

    Daisy-Mae went off to organize things and Jack and I agreed to interpret “the dead which are already dead” as “the dead” and we went our separate ways.

    Around 6:10 pm, the roof was all but finished and Daisy-Mae reminded me that the marching band would be there in 20 minutes. I blew my whistle loudly and told everyone to listen up. I told them that there would be a band and photographers and therefore I wanted them all looking good and happy – some at the front; some by the sides; the upper and lower floor windows filled with people; some on the roof, etc. etc. and that I didn’t want to see anyone clutching a wine-bottle – this was a holy enterprise!

    Shortly before 6:30, we were in place and heard the band. It started off with a bass drum being beaten. There was the shortest of pauses and the brass section kicked in with “The South Shall Rise Again” played at double time.

    The band marched from behind Pastor Zeke’s mansion and on to the lawn – it was now playing “Onward Christian Soldiers”

    As it reached the building and started to circle around, it was playing "America The Beautiful". It was then that i thought I saw the building move slightly.

    As the Band continued around it changed to “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and I checked again - with all the enthusiasm that the day and the wine had generated, the whole building was shaking. I cast my eyes to the boxes I was standing on. There was a diagram showing that these bolts should have been inserted so as to secure the uprights to the walls… I opened my mouth to call the alarm, but it was all too late. The band had reached

    “As ye deal with my condemners, so with you My grace shall deal!
    Let the Hero, born of woman, crush the serpent with his heel,"


    and the Wailing Wall fell flat down and the whole structure started to sway and buckle. That stopped the enthusiastic screaming and yelling from the workers and, after a moment’s silence it was replace by the screaming and yelling of panic and desperation.

    You might remember seeing that silent movie where the wall falls down and the guy standing there is not affected as he was standing where the window was… Well, I remember seeing the wall with the large window in it fall on to a group trying to escape – none of them made the window and those who had been sitting on the window all had their legs and faces shattered.

    The other walls fell and, of course, the roof crushed those inside the building.

    There were 26 killed at the time; 12 died later despite our prayers, 44 were badly injured but recovered in one way or another, and, of the rest, 30 received minor wounds but I was completely unscathed…

    A miracle! Remember that child in the car? From the very start, God had caused the workers to become drunk, had caused me to neglect finding out why there were bolts in the boxes and he had saved me to remind me (a) of His Power and (b) as a witness to the complete miracle!

    More than that – I knew it was God who had done ALL of this – Yes, ALL – not just saving me! God did everything from the very start – even from the planning stage! It is so obvious: God was repeating Joshua 6

    Joshua fit the battle of Jericho
    Jericho, Jericho
    Joshua fit the battle of Jericho
    The walls came tumblin' down, Hallelujah

    Joshua fit the battle of Jericho

    Ah… That Darkie spiritual is wonderful when sung by some blacked-up singers in the style of Al Jolson.

    And thus let us remember God is Good and is Goodness and we should not ignore the miracles of which we are a part each and every day.
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

  • #2
    Re: The Miracle at Zeke’s Place.

    Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
    This brings me to the barn-raising that I went to some 25 years ago.
    Didn't that collapse because we forgot to pray for structural integrity? I remember old man Neil whining about the need for bolts, nuts and nails. That man no doubt burns in Hell for lack of trust in prayers.

    Matthew 21:22
    And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

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    • #3
      Re: The Miracle at Zeke’s Place.

      Had this been a cathylick church no doubt some pope would have called it a "miracle" and tried to make Pastor Zeke a "saint" - ascribing the "miracle" to Pastor Zeke and depriving God of His Glory. One more reason the cathylicks are wrong.
      Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
      brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
      ...and get off my lawn
      sigpic

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      • #4
        Re: The Miracle at Zeke’s Place.

        Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
        ...then we were approached by Miss Daisy-Mae who wanted to know when we wanted the marching band to appear.

        The nuts and bolts thus left my mind and Jack and I decided that, as the job was progressing well, and the wine was better quality that we had expected, that the band ought to be good to appear around 6:30 pm, at which time the roof would be in place.

        Daisy-Mae went off to organize things and Jack and I agreed to interpret “the dead which are already dead” as “the dead” and we went our separate ways.

        Around 6:10 pm, the roof was all but finished and Daisy-Mae reminded me that the marching band would be there in 20 minutes.
        My my my, wasn't Daisy Mae a really well-spoken toddler 25 years ago!
        God created fossils to test our faith.

        * * *

        My favorite LBC sermons:
        True Christians are Perfect!
        True Christian™ Love.
        Salvation™ made Easy!
        You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
        Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
        Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
        Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
        Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
        The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
        Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
        God HATES Rational Thinking!
        True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

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