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  • #1

    I Killed Christ and I am Sorry

    Brothers and Sisters,

    I want to apologize for killing your Savior and request your prayers that I can accept Him as Messiah one day soon. I am diligently studying scripture; it seems to point directly to Christ as the Son of Man and the Son of God, sent to die for a couple days so that all of creation could glorify the Father and our 8 ounce souls could rule and reign with Him forever and ever and ever and ever while we sing songs and play Uno. (Sorry, I made that last part up because I love Uno and I cannot imagine Heaven without Malachi and I playing a few hands each day)

    So, once again - so sorry for the crucifixion and for bad movies like The Holocaust. It is my fault and I accept it with contrition and repentance.

    Your friend,
    Morton

    PS: Sorry for Joan Rivers, too.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: I Killed Christ and I am Sorry

    Mr Weinstein,

    Thank you for you deeply moving confession! Good luck with your road leading to JESUS. I'm praying for you.

    Mark 1:15.

    Yours,

    Elmer
    2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



    PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
    Check out our Research in Creation Science:

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    • #3
      Re: I Killed Christ and I am Sorry

      Praise for letting you to see the Light™, Mr. Weinstein!

      God created fossils to test our faith.

      * * *

      My favorite LBC sermons:
      True Christians are Perfect!
      True Christian™ Love.
      Salvation™ made Easy!
      You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
      Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
      Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
       Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
      Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
      The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
      Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
      God HATES Rational Thinking!
      True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: I Killed Christ and I am Sorry

        Originally posted by Morton Weinstein View Post
        Brothers and Sisters,

        I want to apologize for killing your Savior and request your prayers that I can accept Him as Messiah one day soon. I am diligently studying scripture; it seems to point directly to Christ as the Son of Man and the Son of God, sent to die for a couple days so that all of creation could glorify the Father and our 8 ounce souls could rule and reign with Him forever and ever and ever and ever while we sing songs and play Uno. (Sorry, I made that last part up because I love Uno and I cannot imagine Heaven without Malachi and I playing a few hands each day)

        So, once again - so sorry for the crucifixion and for bad movies like The Holocaust. It is my fault and I accept it with contrition and repentance.

        Your friend,
        Morton

        PS: Sorry for Joan Rivers, too.
        This is exactly the kind of thing we need more of. Jooboy's are welcome into the light of Jesus if only they would just repent.

        Acts 20:21 Testifying both to the Jews, and also to the Greeks, repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ.

        As every one knows Jesus gives us all the chance to love Him and devote our lives to Him for the special gift of not being tortured for all eternity in the Lake of Fire. All it takes is the act of Faith that He exists and is as real as the long day.

        Heb 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

        Now that you are sorry for killing Jesus I feel far more at ease around you.

        As an aside, if you have any investment opportunities you would like to share please feel free to PM me.

        Yours in Christ.
        1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

        Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

        Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: I Killed Christ and I am Sorry

          It’s a difficult theological problem, your killing Jesus.

          On the one hand if the Jews and the closet Jew, Judas Iscariot, had not have killed Jesus, His prophecies would not have been correct, we would all be irredeemable sinners and we could dismiss Him as the local lunatic and just have kept worshiping Yahweh.

          On the other hand, the question arises how much blame should an individual Jew have? It may be that even Jews who were not even around at the Crucifixion (e.g. those on tourist trips to Mount Ararat or discussing the price of doves in a far city) should shoulder the blame as the Jewish crowd called out

          “M't:27:25: Then answered all the people, and said, His blood be on us, and on our children.”

          Now, did the crowd mean just themselves? Or all Jewry?...Difficult. If it meant only the crowd and their children, then (a) who are their descendants? (b) did that blood continue upon the children’s children, and their children, etc?

          And here’s a point, if His Blood was “upon them” did it wash them clean of sin?

          Now, if you and a few friends do an armed robbery at a bank, even the guy who sat in the car gets the punishment of all the others, so did every Jew get the same amount of blame and responsibility, and does that dilute with generations?

          In John:9, we hear Jesus saying that the blind man was not blinded because his parents sinned, but because this is a good way for God to make His Awesome Power known.

          Joh:9:2: And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?
          Joh:9:3: Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

          Yes, the Jews in the crowd believed that their children must suffer, and we Christians have done our best to follow God’s Word as written in the Bible.

          So, whilst the other Pastors and I work out this intractable question, I think I might keep blaming you 100%, but do not let that stop you being generally “good” and Christ-Like” as this may help if you die before we reach a decision.
          sigpic


          “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

          Author of such illuminating essays as,
          Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: I Killed Christ and I am Sorry

            Originally posted by Morton Weinstein View Post
            Brothers and Sisters,

            I want to apologize for killing your Savior and request your prayers that I can accept Him as Messiah one day soon. I am diligently studying scripture; it seems to point directly to Christ as the Son of Man and the Son of God, sent to die for a couple days so that all of creation could glorify the Father and our 8 ounce souls could rule and reign with Him forever and ever and ever and ever while we sing songs and play Uno. (Sorry, I made that last part up because I love Uno and I cannot imagine Heaven without Malachi and I playing a few hands each day)

            So, once again - so sorry for the crucifixion and for bad movies like The Holocaust. It is my fault and I accept it with contrition and repentance.

            Your friend,
            Morton

            PS: Sorry for Joan Rivers, too.

            The Holy Bible tells us you crucified the Messiah (1 Thessalonians 2:15), and so you were born cursed under a veil of spiritual blindness (Paul talks about this in his letter to the Romans, chapters 9-11). The ultimate meaning of the Bible is not favourable towards Jews at all, and so the fact that the Holy Spirit has opened your eyes is a testament to His Good Will (in this case).

            The Old Testament paints a very clear picture of who the Messiah would be when He eventually came to the nation of Israel. In fact, there are over 300 prophecies in the Old Testament which detail many facts about the coming Christ. Here is just a sampling from the "Jewish Bible":

            The Messiah was to be born at Bethlehem: Micah 5:1.
            The Messiah would be from the tribe of Judah: Genesis 49:10.
            The Messiah would present himself by riding on an ass: Zechariah 9:9.
            The Messiah would be tortured to death: Psalm 22.
            The Messiah would arrive before the destruction of the Second Temple: Daniel 9:24-27.
            The Messiah's life would match a particular description, including suffering, silence at his arrest and trial, death and burial in a rich man's tomb, and resurrection: Isaiah 52:13-53:12.

            Christian prophecy is remarkably specific. In detail as to lineage, birthplace, time and lifestyle, Jesus matched the Messianic expectations of the Hebrew Scriptures. This cannot have been coincidence, and it cannot be explained in any other way. As you review the more extensive list of Jewish Messianic prophecies, allow Jesus to speak to your heart and your mind, ask Him for the humility needed to accept His sovereignty over your life. I am cautiously hopeful for you, dear. It appears as if my prayers and thoughts would not be tossed to the swine in your case (Matthew 7:6).

            Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: I Killed Christ and I am Sorry

              Hello Morton Weinstein.

              Do not be so hard on yourself the Romans shoulder some of the blame plus they stole His clothes which seems a little overboard.

              Thank you.

              Rusty
              Psalms 116:6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.

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              • #8
                Re: I Killed Christ and I am Sorry

                Something in my eye... PRAISE THE LORD!

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: I Killed Christ and I am Sorry

                  Originally posted by Morton Weinstein View Post
                  Brothers and Sisters, I want to apologize for killing your Savior and request your prayers that I can accept Him as Messiah one day soon.
                  Long story short, Heavenly Father™ sent us His only begotten son to die on the cross for our sins. You can look it up in the Bible©.

                  So maybe by not killing Christ™, you would have been defying God™s plan?. It really is a pickle you're in!

                  On another note, in the documentary I saw (The Passion of the Christ), you joos seemed to enjoy the killing a bit too much...and that is another thing entirely.

                  I don't know if I can help you with that. But good luck.



                  .

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                  • #10
                    Re: I Killed Christ and I am Sorry

                    GLORY!

                    I'm glad you've seen the light, friend.

                    See! There is no limit to Christ's abundant love.

                    sigpic

                    Tweet me Here
                    My GODLY Bio Here

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                    • #11
                      Re: I Killed Christ and I am Sorry

                      Congratulations! Jesus doesn't chose to Save many Jews, but you've won the biggest Superlotto of them all. We forgive you for killing our Savior. More importantly, Jesus has forgiven you, too. Stick with us and we'll show you the light.

                      Are you a doctor, accountant, or lawyer? We have a special program for rapid church entry for high net worth ex-Jews.
                      The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

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                      • #12
                        Re: I Killed Christ and I am Sorry

                        Diving into the pool of Christian salvation is most admirable but it is not such a good idea to go head first into the shallowest of waters and trust me brother of Harvey... only the Freehold gene pool is shallower than these stagnant waters of cornhusker cult depravity.

                        As you seem to have found a path to Jesus, like your distant cousin Saul on the road to Damascus, it behooves you to seek the one Church He built for all who would know eternal salvation and the love of Jesus.

                        Clearly, we are talking about The Holy Roman Church and not a weekly meeting of a book club for home dentistry masquerading as a true place of worship, learning and compassion.

                        You seem like a reasonable fellow so ask yourself why there are fewer Landrover Baptists than there are Asian male adult film stars? It is simply a case of not measuring up where it counts and, unlike The Catholic Church, these Baptwits come up short on every ecclesiastical measurement known to man and to God.

                        We have plenty of room in the great tent of love that is The Church and you would be wise to join the largest, longest serving and lautitioust organization ever known!



                        Bless you, my future confessional entertainer,
                        Father Mo



                        .
                        A Cardinal in the making.

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                        • #13
                          Re: I Killed Christ and I am Sorry

                          Originally posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
                          ...it is not such a good idea to go head first into the shallowest of waters...We have plenty of room in the great tent of love that is The Church and you would be wise to join the largest, longest serving and lautitioust organization ever known!
                          .
                          Why you haven't been permanantly BANNED from here, I'll never know.

                          And just BTW...I think he's over the age of 12. I hope that cools your ardor

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                          • #14
                            Re: I Killed Christ and I am Sorry

                            God Bless you, Morty the joo. You are the kind of joo that Ann Coulter was talking about.

                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                            • #15
                              Re: I Killed Christ and I am Sorry

                              Originally posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
                              blah blah blah
                              Whoa, you mention a dead guy in the thread title and the cannibals come out of the woodwork!



                              In case you've never heard of transubstantiation, click here.



                              Yours in Christ (NOT JEFFREY DAHMER),

                              Zech
                              sigpic

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