[Bobby-Joe]

Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

Also, I don't recall saying anything about fish. We are possibly evolved from some sort of early human, and then God gave the homo sapien a soul, and a personal design in his image.

and before that primate according to your theory was this lemur like animal and then this rat like animal and they this lizard like mammal until you had this magical fish that crawled out of the water. If the THEORY of evolution is true then we are walking fish. So in other words Jake you belive in talking fish.

[James Hutchins]

Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

Great! I am never eating another Tuna Fish Sandwich for as long as I live. Thanks a lot!

[Shoebarf]

Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

Creation is the least valid thing I've ever heard of. Evolution is obvious, and surrounds us everywhere. That is, unless the members of this site are also ignorant to mutated strings of TB derived from under-medication.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

Creation is the least valid thing I've ever heard of. Evolution is obvious, and surrounds us everywhere. That is, unless the members of this site are also ignorant to mutated strings of TB derived from under-medication.

That's an obvious lie. The Bible says that God created everything you see. You should be thanking Him instead of mocking Him.

Jude 1:17 But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
1:19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.

[Professor Majestic]

Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

I know another common sense-crusader outside of this site whose screen name is "An ounce of sense" who has been banned. I liked the essay he wrote about the Guide, and I felt a duty to post it. So, he e-mailed it to me and here it is.

"Here are some more groups Jeb insists you cannot trust:
Believers in Microorganisms
“Microscoptic [really, he wrote that] creatures are never mentioned in the bible at all, so we are forced to do a lot of rewriting of genesis to account for their day of creation and their presence or absence on the ark.”
Okay, I think I’ve said this several times; the reason they are not mentioned in the bible is because the biblical scholars who compiled the books did not know they existed in the third century or whenever. Also, their presence or absence doesn’t need to be explained, because all of them can survive in the water, and even if they did parade up the ramp onto the ark, nobody would be able to see them. Also, only one of each species would be needed to keep them alive, because they reproduce asexually (they split in half to form 2 near-perfect copies) So millions of each species of single-celled life could have been on the ark, and nobody would have noticed. They would have rode in on Noah and his family, the animals, and the wood used to build the ark. (If for some reason they needed to be on the ark, which they didn’t)
Denying the existence of microscopic life is like denying the existence of the mold in your bathtub, that cheese or yogurt can be made, or that your milk has gone bad. Bloody hell, that’s worse than denying the value of Pi!
Microscopic organisms also embody characteristics of both plants and animals, so with the archaic understanding of the world you people have they could be either one.
Many single-celled organisms use Photosynthesis (combining reactions from sunlight with Carbon Dioxide to make sugar, which is food) to survive, like plants do.
Others eat each other, like animals. So they could have been created with plants or animals.
And I really don’t need to mention innumerable studies and examples of microscopic life, but I am afraid even if I put a microscope in front of you with a slide that was practically bursting with microscopic life, you would still dismiss it in some childish way. You’re hilarious, Jeb.

As I continued to read the guide, I came up with a basic summary of everything he said:

Don’t trust anybody who has made a logical conclusion based on evidence they have actually witnessed, disregard all common sense and deny the existence of anything that isn’t specifically mentioned in the bible, blame everything you don’t like on Satan, attribute everything else to “God’s Will”, and feel free to make far-fetched and idiotic accusations without any evidence, so long as it glorifies god, and demonizes everyone with an ounce of common sense.


Don’t eat food or listen to hurricane/tornado warnings, either. Weathermen are evil. So are farmers.

If you actually live your life or make an decisions based on “A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy”, I am going to start a betting pool on how many months before you die.

Some more good people to hate!
Believers in Ice Ages
“They have to have occurred since the flood, since the surface of the earth was reworked by the flood (to create, for instance, the Grand Canyon practically overnight), which would have messed up all those glacier marks on the landscape.”
Okay. First, even if all the earth’s water were jetted at the ground with the force of a power washer for 40 days and nights, it would not be able to cut a gorge 277 miles long ranging from 4-18 miles across and going more than a mile deep. It’s just plain impossible. Now, if I did rain with the power of a hurricane for 40 days, that would cause some erosion, but all the land would be covered up so quickly that erosion would be minimal. No great flood could erase the world’s glacial trails. Please keep your crazy claims at least remotely plausible.
“That means mile-thick ice sheets had to advance and retreat again and again, across half the northern hemisphere, with the speed of freight trains, but without this miracle being recorded in the bible.”
First of all, if they were moving with the speed of freight trains, they would have caught up with and killed any fleeing tribesmen on donkeys or horses, who needed to stop for food and rest. Maybe that’s why it was never recorded. Or maybe…..

It never happened!

Maybe, all those glaciers were moving around before the humans could write! Or they just didn’t record it, or the documentation was lost. Ooooh…… Or maybe, the earth is older than 6,000 years! Have you ever considered how much everything falls into place if the earth was older than 6,000 some years?
“I say it’s just easier just to deny that Ice Ages ever happened”
Easier than what? Facing the obvious truth? Admitting you’re wrong? Now you are stupid and a lazy believer. You should have evidence to the contrary (not counting the bible) before making idiotic claims like this. Also, if there never was an ice age, how did we get so many glaciers now? And how did non-seafaring people make it to North America? And how do you explain fluctuations in the Jet Stream that seem to be plunging North America into an Ice age? Oh wait. You probably don’t believe global air currents exist. Global warming is fake. Duh! There’s only not a shred of evidence to support that except one dummy’s ramblings-yours!
More later
I hope you psychos can find An ounce of sense."
Good, stuff, huh?

[Professor Majestic]

Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

Here's another essay segment he e-mailed to me.

"Here are some more Satanic people, who are satanic for having common sense and an ounce of smarts about them.

Meteorologists and weathermen and pilots
“The bible states that the sky is a solid dome, a “Firmament”, which was firm enough to separate waters above it from those below on earth”
If the bible said 2+2=5, would you believe it?
There is absolutely no excuse for being an idiot of this magnitude. You should be removed from society and given a psychiatric evaluation. This new claim is so blatantly wrong I cannot begin to guess what awful misconceptions you brew in your head. How do you make such ludicrous conclusions? And how many of them do you just invent? I’ll bet a good deal of this guide is figments of your imagination.
I believe I have already addressed this in an earlier post. Water is not blue. It is colorless, and reflects colors around it, like the ozone in the sky. So if there were an ocean in the sky that we were seeing, it would be black like space. Also, how do we see the stars through the ocean? How do falling stars glow hot when they fall through an ocean?
Okay. At this point I am a bit bored with smashing your ludicrous claims, so I’ll just cut to the chase and get all the really stupid ones.

Satan's Rapid Deployment Force (SRDF)
“Revealed At Last! SHOCKING PROOF that Satan is active in the world and working to defeat creationism! Every time that we creationists bring up one of those impossible changes from one created kind to another (macroevolution), the SRDF gets to work and plants in the rocks some True fossils, carefully "aging" them and putting them in the "proper" strata so that paleontologists can find them in a few years.”
If people could actually fabricate totally false underground networks and get people to believe in them, the SRDF would have been old news. If you discover something new like this, skip the internet forum and go straight to the Colbert Report or something so you can be nationally humiliated and have your misconceptions squashed. Then you won’t be a danger to society anymore, and you’ll finally be able to see the world for what it is! Win-win situation.

“Then they're shoved in our faces as examples of the major transitions that we know to be impossible.

We said a hyena can't change into a whale. The SRDF gets to work and presto! scientists are digging up Ambulocetus , Pakicetus , Prozeuglodon, and a passle of others.

We knew damn well that no lizard ever sprouted wings and feathers, so the SRDF made up those phony Archaeopteryx jobs that were just TOO perfect! I mean, teeth, bony tail, claws on the fingers, along with perfect flight feathers--come on! Since we absolutely wouldn't accept such an obvious True, now they're throwing in a bunch of others in various stages of birdness, like Protoavis , Sinornis , Hesperornis, and Ichthyornis .”
At least you’ve done a bit of research this time. Those fossils were well formed because they were of real species that lived for millions of years and did pretty well.

“They claimed we were all fish, then we grew legs and lungs and crawled out on land--what rot! Where are the transitions? Enter the SRDF, and now we've got Eusthenopteron, Panderichtys, Acanthostega, and labyrynthodonts.”
I take that back. Clearly you have done no research at all.

“And of course the highest priority mission of the SRDF is to "prove" that people are just improved apes (whereas Genesis 2:7 tells us clearly that we are improved dirt). We keep telling them that there are "missing links" between apes and humans, and they keep finding something to fill whatever gap we point out. After all, isn't Lucy (Australopithecus afarensis) just a little too convenient? Throw in A. ramidus and africanus and then H. habilis and erectus, and it's hard to find much of a gap anymore where a link could be missing.”
Let me get this straight; you would rather be dirt than already intelligent animals? The reason you can’t find a gap is because we have all the transitional fossils. I don’t think you understand evolution either. Evolution is not genetic change between generations, but beings that have favorable traits that help them survive living longer and reproducing more, spreading that trait.
Now if you really believe Satan is smart enough to forge 1,000 years worth of discoveries in every branch of science, your god must be an eternal weakling. What kind of almighty deity would let his sole enemy wreak havoc around the globe? My god doesn’t let any devil screw with us. Why hasn’t god smote all the paleontologists and geneticists who are proving creation quite thoroughly wrong? Maybe because they are right.
Also, you provide no proof of the SRDF’s activities except far-fetched accusations. You have no evidence whatsoever. The SRDF, I’m afraid, is a figment of your imagination. I challenge everyone on this site to come up with a viable source proving the existence of SRDF (not including the bible, which doesn’t say anything about that, so it doesn’t exist. Of course. Defeated again by your own logic. )

Believers in DNA
“How convientent [he really wrote that] that this "science" would turn up and confirm predictions of relationships made by evolutionary theory perfectly. And what a dirty trick to have human DNA fit right into the distribution, right next door to the chimps'! Obviously a hoax.”
Obviously. Hmmm. By convenient, do you mean, “Fit together logically and independently confirmed by multiple sources,” I think DNA was actually discovered before people started fussing about transitional fossils. Maybe it’s convenient because everything makes sense now. DNA was hailed as “The secret of life” when it was discovered.
“According to believers in DNA, the ultimate blueprint for building entire human beings turns out to be just plain chemicals, with nothing magical or even particularly unusual that sets humans aside from other living things.”
Humans are very magical and unusual. Nature can produce clever animals, like chimps, parrots, and dolphins fairly easily, but creating a species that can think and invent, like us, has only ever happened once. I think our mind and ability to think could be our magical god-given soul.
And mind you, these are very complex chemicals. Nothing normal about them.
“And those geneticists can even tinker with the stuff, and build new creatures. They can replace defective genes in people, thwarting God's will that people be crippled and die. I'm sure something was put into Leviticus to forbid such ungodliness, we just haven't managed to find and interpret it yet.”
If people actually gave a damn, they would have been flipping through Leviticus right after someone invented crutches. You also said the bible is to be taken absolutely literally. Why are you interpreting things differently? By your own reasoning, you are a SATANIST! Or is it okay to disobey God’s laws so long as it is within your moral boundaries? Oh….
Here is something else interesting. If DNA doesn’t exist, then there is no fundamental building block that can make sure traits are passed on or that cells can reproduce. Then it’s either we all have to be clones (which we clearly are not) or it is all totally random, and your offspring can have traits of a different species. So an ape could potentially poot out a human baby. Voila! Evolution.
That’s assuming DNA doesn’t exist, which it does. If it weren’t for DNA, life could not exist.

Arrogant Scientists in General

“Your average creation scientist [isn’t that an oxymoron?] has almost an entire year of college [Oooh! Ahhh! Special! I’ll get at least four], and clearly knows more about [fake] paleontology than Bakker or Horner or Currie, knows more about the definition of [creationism] evolution than Gould or Dawkins, knows more about [fake] biology than Dobzhansky or Mayr, knows more about [fake, medieval-level understanding of] cosmology than Hawking, Kaku, or Witten, and more about human fossils [psh. All those are fake. Duh!] than Johanson or the Leakeys. He knows more true [fake] geology than geologists, more [fake] physics than physicists, more [fake] astronomy than astronomers--and more about everything [practically nothing] than atheists like Asimov or Sagan. Scientists deny this fact only out of pure arrogance.”
What the hell does he know? And why on earth would a well-educated scientist bow to a bible thumping screwhead who thinks he knows everything because he can read a 2000-year-old book? NONE OF THEM! It’s not about arrogance; it’s about the fine line between faith and idiocy! You’re the arrogant ones! (And the idiots)

A few more ounces of sense later"

[Professor Majestic]

Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

My post was tampered with. Wherever it says "Genuine", put in the word "FAke". If it makes sense from your point of view, it has probably been altered. I can e-mail you the entire essay when he gives it to me.

[Professor Majestic]

Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

My post was tampered with. Wherever it says "Genuine", put in the word "FAke". If it makes sense from your point of view, it has probably been altered. I can e-mail you the entire essay when he gives it to me.

That post was tampered with too. Switch
the
words
false or not real and
genuine out
Sorry, but i have to ttry and fool the fillters. This has probably been tampered with too

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

Thank you for the clarification there - Genuine, need not be with an uppercase 'G' every time though. (We usually reserve uppercase 'G' for God.)

[Nobar King]

Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

Are you sure you're not too stupid to know what you're posting? Also, you're an agent for this "oz. of sensi" drug dealer? That makes you pretty suspect right away. How are you going to explain this one?

[NonSense Crusade]

Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

Yes, it makes more sense....unless one is conversing with a drooler. Then we make allowances....like posting within tags.....so your attention doesn't jump out your ear and get lost when your finger gets stuck in your nose.

I think you almost set a record. You managed three posts before you were banned. That means at least two people in the world are dumber than you are, or at least less articulate. Maybe you can find them. They will be drooling on their keyboards as well, so you are probably all in the same room. Pull that finger out of your nose and your head will turn. See them?

Sir, you have no room to say anything about intelligence. Nobody, absolutely nobody who believes a word of this is aloud to speak about intelligence. And especially not you, because you think the sun is made of coal.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

Sir, you have no room to say anything about intelligence. Nobody, absolutely nobody who believes a word of this is aloud to speak about intelligence. And especially not you, because you think the sun is made of coal.

Friend,

We do not "think" the sun is made of coal, we "know" it is. Presumably you have seen the carefully done work of the Christian science which has been offered for peer review in the best Christian science magazines. The Christian experts have spoken, now were are you entitled to your opinion of this?

[NonSense Crusade]

Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

I simply refuse to debate something as obvious and commonly known as the composition, size, and distance of the sun. That would be undignifying.

[Jenni111]

Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

What are the views on the sun running out of fuel and exploding?

Also sun spots:

Sunspots imaged on 2004-06-22


A sunspot is an area on the Sun's surface (photosphere) that is marked by intense magnetic activity, which inhibits convection, forming areas of reduced surface temperature. They can be visible from Earth without the aid of a telescope. Although they are at temperatures of roughly 4,000–4,500 K, the contrast with the surrounding material at about 5,800 K leaves them clearly visible as dark spots, as the intensity of a heated black body (closely approximated by the photosphere) is a function of T (temperature) to the fourth power. If a sunspot were isolated from the surrounding photosphere it would be brighter than an electric arc.

[James Hutchins]

Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

I simply refuse to debate something as obvious and commonly known as the composition, size, and distance of the sun. That would be undignifying.

Oh, I did not know you went to the Sun and checked it out. Why didn't you say so sooner!