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  • Re: Are You an Atheist?

    Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
    So you think King James men wrote the Holy Bible in 1611 as a practical joke? All Christians on the planet are just victims of a practical joke?
    Yes that is almost right, but original pranksters where the chasers
    Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
    I am sure there will be a nice private suite in hell for you. Enjoy "living your life" while it lasts...
    I keep telling you there is no Hell in the way you seem to understand Hell, just not a logical choice for The Creator to go for.

    Now once again I tell you to put down that practical joke book you love so much and discover the truth. Your life will be so much better once you accept The Flying Spaghetti Monster as your Lord and Creator.
    Posted via Pasta

    True Pastafarian™

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    • Re: Are You an Atheist?

      Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
      In that case I have to decline. No beer is worth a visit to Holland. But thank you for the nice offer.
      Ahh what a shame, maybe you could use the travel to our country to show our people your religion!
      That doesn't make me smile!

      Comment


      • Re: Are You an Atheist?

        Originally posted by Jo Freddie View Post
        Your life will be so much better once you accept The Flying Spaghetti Monster as your Lord and Creator.
        Perhaps, but the afterlife will be a disaster.
        5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
        To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
        James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

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        • Re: Are You an Atheist?

          Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
          Perhaps, but the afterlife will be a disaster.
          Why?
          The scriptures assure us that each persons Beer Volcano and a Stripper factory will be tailored to their personal needs, tastes and desires

          The Book of Penelope
          Chapter II
          24 As with the beer volcano, so it is with the stripper factory.
          25 YOU and your desires dictate the out-put....
          Posted via Pasta

          True Pastafarian™

          May my Sauce be with you!
          Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
          Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
          The Loose Canon - HTML version
          Loose Canon Fan Page
          North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
          I have been to The Volcano!

          Comment


          • Re: Are You an Atheist?

            Originally posted by Jo Freddie View Post
            Why?
            The scriptures assure us that each persons Beer Volcano and a Stripper factory will be tailored to their personal needs, tastes and desires

            The Book of Penelope
            Chapter II
            24 As with the beer volcano, so it is with the stripper factory.
            25 YOU and your desires dictate the out-put....
            What beer does this beer volcano contain? If its Budweiser it will be the same as hell I want Grolsch
            That doesn't make me smile!

            Comment


            • Re: Are You an Atheist?

              Originally posted by R.Geus View Post
              What beer does this beer volcano contain? If its Budweiser it will be the same as hell I want Grolsch
              Grolsch??
              Carlsberg is the only beer!
              Convert to drinking Carlsberg or thou shall suffer Heineken for all eternity!!!
              O that ye would altogether hold your peace! And it should be your wisdom.
              -Job 13:5

              Comment


              • Re: Are You an Atheist?

                Originally posted by Lord Lolland View Post
                Grolsch??
                Carlsberg is the only beer!
                Convert to drinking Carlsberg or thou shall suffer Heineken for all eternity!!!
                I might consider doing that, cause there aint no worse faith imaginable than to drink Heineken
                That doesn't make me smile!

                Comment


                • Re: Are You an Atheist?

                  Originally posted by Lord Lolland View Post
                  Grolsch??
                  Carlsberg is the only beer!
                  Convert to drinking Carlsberg or thou shall suffer Heineken for all eternity!!!
                  Originally posted by R.Geus View Post
                  I might consider doing that, cause there aint no worse faith imaginable than to drink Heineken
                  And what does any of this have to do with atheism?

                  Stop derailing our threads!
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                  • Re: Are You an Atheist?

                    Originally posted by R.Geus View Post
                    What beer does this beer volcano contain? If its Budweiser it will be the same as hell I want Grolsch
                    Re read the quote:
                    Originally posted by Jo Freddie View Post
                    Why?
                    The scriptures assure us that each persons Beer Volcano and a Stripper factory will be tailored to their personal needs, tastes and desires

                    The Book of Penelope
                    Chapter II
                    24 As with the beer volcano, so it is with the stripper factory.
                    25 YOU and your desires dictate the out-put....
                    what does 25 say? YOU and your desires dictate the out-put....

                    So if you desire Grolsch you get Grolsch.
                    Posted via Pasta

                    True Pastafarian™

                    May my Sauce be with you!
                    Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
                    Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
                    The Loose Canon - HTML version
                    Loose Canon Fan Page
                    North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
                    I have been to The Volcano!

                    Comment


                    • Re: Are You an Atheist?

                      Why do you refer to Athiests as people who "Worship Monkeys"?

                      Comment


                      • Re: Are You an Atheist?

                        Originally posted by Dimensions Of Though View Post
                        Why do you refer to Athiests as people who "Worship Monkeys"?
                        Are you denying that atheists worship monkeys? What do you call evilution then?
                        The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                        Comment


                        • Re: Are You an Atheist?

                          Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
                          Are you denying that atheists worship monkeys? What do you call evilution then?
                          Evolution is the theory that humans have evolved from monkeys, naturally.

                          Comment


                          • Re: Are You an Atheist?

                            Originally posted by Dimensions Of Though View Post
                            Evolution is the theory that humans have evolved from monkeys, naturally.
                            Only a monkey worshipping atheist would believe something like that.

                            Some atheists even have sex with monkeys to prove their theory of evilution to innocent children and make them go to Hell.
                            The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                            Comment


                            • Re: Are You an Atheist?

                              Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
                              Only a monkey worshipping atheist would believe something like that.

                              Some atheists even have sex with monkeys to prove their theory of evilution to innocent children and make them go to Hell.
                              I heard that's where AIDS came from - God has punished the sinning evilutionists.

                              Levicitus 20
                              16And if a woman approach unto any beast, and lie down thereto, thou shalt kill the woman, and the beast: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
                              6
                              A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
                              "But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

                              Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
                              If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

                              GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.

                              Comment


                              • Re: Are You an Atheist?

                                Haha! Oh bless you, child. Jesus does not care about you! You are merely a tool of a corrupt man who would lie to the world in a pathetic attempt to segregate all but the white, god-fearing christian. This is not the way. However, as you are a pastor, I would assume you are just as bad, spreading your venomous words to the weak minded and hopeless. There is no repentance for you, Ezekiel the Damned.

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