X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • hellion
    Nasty and Mean-Spirited
    • Nov 2006
    • 564

    #106
    Re: And I had thought I saw it all

    [QUOTE=Pastor Ezekiel;17760]
    Originally posted by hellion View Post

    FOOLISH WOMAN! If you believe in satan, then you also believe in God!

    I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.--Isaiah 45:7

    You have chosen the wrong side, and so you can expect God's anger to be reflected in your eternal damnation. You won't need to worry about God sending you up into the attic as a practical joke. No siree bob....
    Well, I have to admit, that joke was pretty funny. And it kept me entertained. I think I still like Satan better. He has a better sense of humor and he lent me a dollar!
    "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

    Moderatio est Figmentum

    Comment

    • Pastor Al E Pistle
      Christ's Cōnsiliārius
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 9323

      #107
      Re: And I had thought I saw it all

      [quote=hellion;18936]
      Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post

      How would you know?
      Attic=head
      empty=no brains
      not getting the joke=priceless
      Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
      "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
      Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


      Comment

      • hellion
        Nasty and Mean-Spirited
        • Nov 2006
        • 564

        #108
        Re: And I had thought I saw it all

        [QUOTE=Pastor Al E Pistle;18938]
        Originally posted by hellion View Post
        Attic=head
        empty=no brains
        not getting the joke=priceless
        Only you would relate an attic to a human head. But thank Buddha it was just a joke, I thought you were stalking me!
        "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

        Moderatio est Figmentum

        Comment

        • hellion
          Nasty and Mean-Spirited
          • Nov 2006
          • 564

          #109
          Re: And I had thought I saw it all

          Originally posted by Brother V View Post
          It's so much more fun to hit someone who doesn't want to be hit. PRAISE JESUS!!!

          Also... if you are able to hit back, the man who hits you needs to start working out a little more.

          You should learn your place though, so he doesn't HAVE to hit you.

          YIC
          V
          Well, if I can't hit you, then I'll grab a gun and shoot your penis off. And I've seen average sized women take down pretty big guys. See, there's these new fighting techniques called martial arts. They help smaller people defend themselves against neanderthalls like you. And women can always kick you in the goodies, that's been proven quite effective.
          "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

          Moderatio est Figmentum

          Comment

          • Enobarbus
            Professor of English Landover University
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 3496

            #110
            Re: And I had thought I saw it all

            [QUOTE=hellion;19306]
            Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post

            Only you would relate an attic to a human head. But thank Buddha it was just a joke, I thought you were stalking me!
            "Attic" as a metaphor for the human head is commonplace and obvious. "An empty attic", "nothing in the attic", and so on are ways of indicating that someone is not so quick. "Bats in the belfry", and 1001 other references to roofs and topmost parts of buildings minus this and that are also common ways of indicating that some one is a dullard.

            Your hoping for a literal guy in your literal attic is understandable, and your rushing up to find out, despite the fact he may have been an axe murderer is also understandable. But you really shouldn't let your desperation for a man show so clearly: that is one of the things that will drive them away and is contributing to the fact that you are now over 18 and never had a boyfreind.

            And your fantasies about Pastor Pistle stalking you are very much wishful thinking, make no mistake about it. Pastor Pistle can do a little bit better than an uneducated little trollop like yourself -- and that must be the understatement of the decade.
            Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

            Comment

            • Mrs. Rogers
              compassion personified
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 2692

              #111
              Re: And I had thought I saw it all

              Originally posted by hellion View Post
              Well, if I can't hit you, then I'll grab a gun and shoot your penis off.
              Your determination to remain a virgin has been duly noted; why not pledge your purity to Jesus instead? Much more ladylike than threatening the members of our members.
              True Christians are Perfect!

              Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

              Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

              For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

              Comment

              • hellion
                Nasty and Mean-Spirited
                • Nov 2006
                • 564

                #112
                Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                [QUOTE=Enobarbus;19311]
                Originally posted by hellion View Post
                "Attic" as a metaphor for the human head is commonplace and obvious. "An empty attic", "nothing in the attic", and so on are ways of indicating that someone is not so quick. "Bats in the belfry", and 1001 other references to roofs and topmost parts of buildings minus this and that are also common ways of indicating that some one is a dullard.
                Sorry. Those metaphors are WAY out of date, atleast in my generation. Maybe you just need to catch up with the times.

                Your hoping for a literal guy in your literal attic is understandable, and your rushing up to find out, despite the fact he may have been an axe murderer is also understandable. But you really shouldn't let your desperation for a man show so clearly: that is one of the things that will drive them away and is contributing to the fact that you are now over 18 and never had a boyfreind.
                Actually I was sent up there to kill him. I wasn't going to, but I brought a knife and two friends up with me, just incase he was up there and did try to attack me. And I have had a boyfriend. Three, to be precise.

                And your fantasies about Pastor Pistle stalking you are very much wishful thinking, make no mistake about it. Pastor Pistle can do a little bit better than an uneducated little trollop like yourself -- and that must be the understatement of the decade.
                Eww...I meant stalking like he was trying to kill me or something. I've heard what you 'christians' do to people, running them over and all...
                "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

                Moderatio est Figmentum

                Comment

                • Enobarbus
                  Professor of English Landover University
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 3496

                  #113
                  Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                  Originally posted by hellion View Post
                  Well, if I can't hit you, then I'll grab a gun and shoot your penis off. And I've seen average sized women take down pretty big guys. See, there's these new fighting techniques called martial arts. They help smaller people defend themselves against neanderthalls like you. And women can always kick you in the goodies, that's been proven quite effective.
                  There may not be a gun handy and you probably wouldn't be able to use it. Shooting at someone's penis would not be a sensible thing to do either. The chances of a direct hit are minimal and it wouldn't stop someone either way -- think about it...

                  As far as the business of an average sized woman taking down a pretty big guy, one hears about it from people like you, but not from the people on the street or the police or the experts. And the martial arts are not as effective as you think. A practiced street fighter will hold his own with a martial artist, and that is a real martial artist who has studied and practiced for years.

                  It will take from three to five years training at the martial arts to be a better fighter than you were before and a small woman still won't necessarily take out a large man. Sorry it's not that simple.

                  And as far as kicking someone in the goodies is concerned, you have proven you just don't know what you are talking about. The experts are all unanimous about this -- whether they are the police, martial artists, feminist advisors -- "don't even think about it". And your reference to "kick" makes it doubly obvious that you don't know what you are talking about. All boys and men who have play-fought and sparred and who have any experience of real fighting know that trying to land a kick on a standing opponent is well-nigh impossible.

                  As far as kicking someone in the goodies is concerned it will only work if they just don't see it coming at all. Otherwise they just turn slightly and raise the thigh a bit. Then enraged that you have attempted such a thing they go for you a thousand times harder than they otherwise would have.

                  Kneeing someone in the goodies when at close quarters may sometimes be possible, but is still more likely to miss than connect. If you can get a grip on the goodies with your hand and squeeze or twist that may be effective, but again, it's not recommended.

                  According to all the experts the best tactic for a woman is to attempt to kick her assailant in the shins -- it's much harder to guard them and most men aren't instinctively prepared to guard them in the same way as they are with their goodies -- and then run shrieking. But don't shreik "Help, rape". Shreik: "Help Fire".

                  But it's not our job to educate you. You are just so woefully ignorant and stupid it's hard not to pity you.

                  Find the Lord Hellion, he will be able to help you.
                  Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

                  Comment

                  • hellion
                    Nasty and Mean-Spirited
                    • Nov 2006
                    • 564

                    #114
                    Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                    Originally posted by Enobarbus View Post
                    There may not be a gun handy and you probably wouldn't be able to use it. Shooting at someone's penis would not be a sensible thing to do either. The chances of a direct hit are minimal Haha! Maybe for you it is. and it wouldn't stop someone either way -- think about it...
                    Are you saying that if you got your cajones shot off, you'd still even be standing? Yeah right. Maybe we should test that theory. Would you like to be a willing subject?

                    As far as the business of an average sized woman taking down a pretty big guy, one hears about it from people like you, but not from the people on the street or the police or the experts. And the martial arts are not as effective as you think. A practiced street fighter will hold his own with a martial artist, and that is a real martial artist who has studied and practiced for years.Have you ever watched martial arts? Yeah, they can fight, very effectively. I used to take it, then this guy was being an ass, so I quit. No wonder there aren't any police reports. If a guy got beat up by a girl, he's not going to report it.

                    It will take from three to five years training at the martial arts to be a better fighter than you were before and a small woman still won't necessarily take out a large man. Sorry it's not that simple.
                    I've seen an 8th grade little girl take down a college student in martial arts. And he wasn't that small. He was average sized. And he had taken martial arts for atleast a year too.

                    And as far as kicking someone in the goodies is concerned, you have proven you just don't know what you are talking about. The experts are all unanimous about this -- whether they are the police, martial artists, feminist advisors -- "don't even think about it". And your reference to "kick" makes it doubly obvious that you don't know what you are talking about. All boys and men who have play-fought and sparred and who have any experience of real fighting know that trying to land a kick on a standing opponent is well-nigh impossible.
                    As a wittness and a victimizer to kicking someone in the balls, I know it's effective. What you do is pull a Tiger Paw. This is where you pretend to punch them so they go to cover their face, leaving their balls in the open. Now you can kick them in the nuts. After they are crying like babies, you say, 'Who's the bitch now?'.

                    As far as kicking someone in the goodies is concerned it will only work if they just don't see it coming at all. Otherwise they just turn slightly and raise the thigh a bit. Then enraged that you have attempted such a thing they go for you a thousand times harder than they otherwise would have.
                    See above description of Tiger Paw.

                    Kneeing someone in the goodies when at close quarters may sometimes be possible, but is still more likely to miss than connect. If you can get a grip on the goodies with your hand and squeeze or twist that may be effective, but again, it's not recommended.
                    You just use that as an excuse to touch their penis.

                    According to all the experts the best tactic for a woman is to attempt to kick her assailant in the shins -- it's much harder to guard them and most men aren't instinctively prepared to guard them in the same way as they are with their goodies -- and then run shrieking. But don't shreik "Help, rape". Shreik: "Help Fire".
                    But kicking them in the shin isn't as funny.

                    But it's not our job to educate you. You are just so woefully ignorant and stupid it's hard not to pity you.
                    Look who's talking...

                    Find the Lord Hellion, he will be able to help you.
                    I don't like jesus.
                    "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

                    Moderatio est Figmentum

                    Comment

                    • Jesus is Lord
                      Devout seeker of the Truth™
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 639

                      #115
                      Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                      Originally posted by hellion View Post
                      I don't like jesus.
                      Why not? Why the hatred of the One who created you and is willing to give you eternal life in Paradise if you let Him into your heart?
                      The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
                      Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
                      sigpic

                      Comment

                      • hellion
                        Nasty and Mean-Spirited
                        • Nov 2006
                        • 564

                        #116
                        Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                        Originally posted by Jesus is Lord View Post
                        Why not? Why the hatred of the One who created you and is willing to give you eternal life in Paradise if you let Him into your heart?
                        Well someone told me that your paradise was nothing but us women living in servitude for men. I think I'll pass.
                        "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

                        Moderatio est Figmentum

                        Comment

                        • Enobarbus
                          Professor of English Landover University
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 3496

                          #117
                          Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                          Originally posted by hellion View Post
                          I don't like jesus.
                          And how much experience have you had trying to shoot a moving target with a pistol? If it's a rifle you are not going to be able to aim. And yes people can be still standing and fly at you even when they have taken enough lead to eventually prove fatal. Make no mistake about it.

                          Yes, I have watched and participated in Martial Arts.

                          I've seen an 8th grade little girl take down a college student in martial arts. And he wasn't that small. He was average sized. And he had taken martial arts for atleast a year too.That wasn't a real fight.

                          And I'm not talking about official police reports -- I'm talking about what the police know and talk about and recommend unofficially.

                          As a wittness and a victimizer to kicking someone in the balls, I know it's effective. What you do is pull a Tiger Paw. This is where you pretend to punch them so they go to cover their face, leaving their balls in the open. Now you can kick them in the nuts. After they are crying like babies, you say, 'Who's the bitch now?'.Wishful thinking, dear, wishful thinking. It doesn't happen like that on the street. You are full of horsefeathers.
                          Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

                          Comment

                          • Enobarbus
                            Professor of English Landover University
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 3496

                            #118
                            Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                            Originally posted by hellion View Post
                            Well someone told me that your paradise was nothing but us women living in servitude for men. I think I'll pass.
                            And why have you signed up with other names, Stella? You know, Satan, and Belial.
                            Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

                            Comment

                            • Enobarbus
                              Professor of English Landover University
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 3496

                              #119
                              Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                              [QUOTE=hellion;19306]
                              Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post

                              Only you would relate an attic to a human head. But thank Buddha it was just a joke, I thought you were stalking me!
                              The fact that you couldn't work it out just proves that your own attic is empty. It is hardly difficult, and, no, it's not out of date.
                              Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

                              Comment

                              • SalvationSeeker
                                True Christian™ Theologian
                                Forum Member
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 3892

                                #120
                                Re: And I had thought I saw it all

                                Originally posted by Enobarbus View Post
                                And why have you signed up with other names, Stella? You know, Satan, and Belial.
                                And why is she even here at all?
                                Doesn't she have anything better to do than pester us?
                                (She's obviously not interested in learning about Jesus.)

                                So it would seem you have an admirer (and stalker), brother.
                                Too bad it's a spoiled little girl though.
                                If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
                                A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
                                Proverbs 9:12-13

                                Comment

                                Working...