[Secret]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

From what I've seen in this thread, FSM is the One True God.
RAmen, Thank the enlightened individual that has fought so hard to let the truth be heard.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

From what I've seen in this thread, FSM is the One True God.
RAmen, Thank the enlightened individual that has fought so hard to let the truth be heard.

All this thread has done is show you are worshiping a false God.

1 Kings 14:9 But hast done evil above all that were before thee: for thou hast gone and made thee other gods, and molten images, to provoke me to anger, and hast cast me behind thy back:

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

All this thread has done is show you are worshiping a false God.

Nope worshiping The One True God, it is you that worships a false god, one who was designed by men to control people.

i·dol·a·tor -noun 1. One who worships idols.

We worship God not an idol

i·dol –noun 1. an image or other material object representing a deity to which religious worship is addressed.

We do not worship the plate of pasta, we eat the pasta as it pleases Him, the worship is NOT addressed at the object (the plate of Pasta)

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Nope worshiping The One True God, it is you that worships a false god, one who was designed by men to control people.

We worship God not an idol
We do not worship the plate of pasta, we eat the pasta as it pleases Him, the worship is NOT addressed at the object (the plate of Pasta)

Of course you worship an idol. Your plate of spaghetti monster is man made. You are a silly billy.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Of course you worship an idol. Your plate of spaghetti monster is man made. You are a silly billy.

Yes, but as I have already pointed out several time WE DO NOT WORSHIP THE PLATE OF SPAGHETTI. Yet again your comprehension skills are at their usual low.

[Levi Jones]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

WE DO NOT WORSHIP THE PLATE OF SPAGHETTI.

You're as bad as a catlicker trying to swear up and down that she doesn't worship Mary while bowing prostrate in front of a statue of her and lighting incense.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Yes, but as I have already pointed out several time WE DO NOT WORSHIP THE PLATE OF SPAGHETTI. Yet again your comprehension skills are at their usual low.

My comprehension skills are fine thankyou. You fail to understand your plate of spaghetti monster is a man made idol. It is not the real God.

I posted a picture of men making your silly plate of spaghetti monster. This is what it looks like when served.



Before you eat you spaghetti you should say a blessing to the Real True God. It is to thank him for giving you the food.

So stop worshiping your silly idol and start worshiping the Lord.

[Petal]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

We do not worship the plate of pasta, we eat the pasta as it pleases Him, the worship is NOT addressed at the object (the plate of Pasta)

i gonna cooks me a big fat rare steaks, it gonna be all bloody an stuff cuz lord God lurve them bloods, an then i gonna eats it om nom nom . i gonna eats it so in your face, Mr.Jo pasta-humpa! you be a abominashun

i lurve to eats lots an lots of meats for lord Jesus, it true

.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

i gonna cooks me a big fat rare steaks, it gonna be all bloody an stuff cuz lord God lurve them bloods, an then i gonna eats it om nom nom . i gonna eats it so in your face, Mr.Jo pasta-humpa! you be a abominashun

i lurve to eats lots an lots of meats for lord Jesus, it true

.

That sounds real tasty Petal. Perhaps Jo Freddie should eat some also.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

My comprehension skills are fine thankyou. You fail to understand your plate of spaghetti monster is a man made idol. It is not the real God.

The One True God IS The FLYING Spaghetti Monster.

A plate of spaghetti is something that looks like The Flying Spaghetti Monster. I worship The One True God, not the plate of food.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is not actually made from strands of durum wheat, in honour of The one True God we take durum wheat and form it into strands that resemble his Noodlyness.

The mythical Elohim that you worship is nothing more then a fantasy of a bunch of chasers it is not The Real God.

We have seen in this thread several people who have come to this place in an attempt to discover the truth, they have looked at what your church says, and at what the TRUE Church says, and have accepted the truth that I have given them over the lies of your collection of fairy tales.

Now let me list some simple facts and see if you are capable of understanding them

1. God IS The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
2. We worship The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
3. God is NOT made of Earthly spaghetti.
4. A plate of spaghetti, meatballs and sauce looks a bit like GOD.
5. The plate of food (spaghetti, meatballs and sauce) is NOT God.
6. God gave us the ingredients to make the plate of food.
7. It pleases God that we make a plate of food that looks a bit like him.
8. We do NOT worship a plate of food.

I await your display of a total lack of comprehension skills in response Lisa. I will not hold you inability to grasp simple facts against you, for it is not your fault, you are the victim of centuries of manipulation and brainwashing by the men of the cult of Elohim. I have a Hug for you once you accept The Flying Spaghetti Monster as the One True God.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

i gonna cooks me a big fat rare steaks, it gonna be all bloody an stuff cuz lord God lurve them bloods, an then i gonna eats it om nom nom . i gonna eats it so in your face, Mr.Jo pasta-humpa! you be a abominashun

i lurve to eats lots an lots of meats for lord Jesus, it true

.

Sounds like you have succumbed to the EVIL that is Atkins.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

The One True God IS The FLYING Spaghetti Monster.
Irrelevant nonsense removed

I think you have been smoking your salad side dressing.

I worship the Real True God, you on the other are worshiping a plate of spaghetti. You have now condemed other people to hell with you.

I see you have titled yourself "True Pastafart"
That would be sound and smell you will be making in the rivers of hell.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I think you have been smoking your salad side dressing.

I worship the Real True God, you on the other are worshiping a plate of spaghetti. You have now condemed other people to hell with you.

Real True God = The Flying Spaghetti Monster and what I worship.
a plate of spaghetti = a plate of food and not something I worship.

And so the prophecy was fulfilled

I await your display of a total lack of comprehension skills in response Lisa. I will not hold you inability to grasp simple facts against you, for it is not your fault, you are the victim of centuries of manipulation and brainwashing by the men of the cult of Elohim. I have a Hug for you once you accept The Flying Spaghetti Monster as the One True God.

First Letter From Edd to the Forum Members

1 One day a man entered a strip joint and sat at a back table.
2 Verily, he did order his minimum of drinks, which numbered two.
3 He sat, expressionless, staring at the strippers, without tipping, without beckoning them over.
4 And, yea, did the strippers avoid him and call him 'creepy.'

5 All night, the creepy patron did sit and stare.
6 The strippers whispered amongst themselves about the body parts he most likely concealeth in a freezer.

7 But, lo, one stripper did become intoxicated and became much too physical with all the customers.
8 Her coworkers did liken her unto a prostitute and were embarrassed on her behalf.
9 She danced provocatively, yet clumsily, eliciting not tips but pity.

10 Behold, On this day I issue a challenge to unrepentant lurkers:
11 Be not like the creepy patron, staring without participating.
12 Lurk until you have become familiar with these forums, then participate.
13 But do not become like the drunken stripper; remember to post with civility, consideration of others, and make a sincere attempt to verify your contribution is intelligible and interesting and not repetitive.

14 Respect the seriousness of the serious threads and the silliness of the humorous threads, for is not The Flying Spaghetti Monster composed of many noodly appendages, each as omniscient and omnipotent as the next?
15 So it is with the forums.

16 May The FSM guide your hands over your keyboard while protecting it from beverages.

RAmen

I see you have titled yourself "True Pastafart"

True Pastafarian™

That would be sound and smell you will be making in the rivers of hell.

No Such place.

[handmaiden]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

So your spaghetti "god" is all about the pirates and midgets. He/Sh/It makes no dispensation regarding the earthly people who have sought to express the possibilities of pasta through an almost infinite variety of forms.

I had looked into your foolish religion in the past and found a certain cold indifference to my people. The Italians . . . curse those trumpet players, where are they?!

No mention or charitable thought towards my people can be found in your "gospel" . . . okay, where was the pianist who was supposed to strike the dramatic cords just now . . . darn it all!

At LBC, at least they care enough to warn me against the inherent dangers that are associated with my ethnicity-- the tendency towards papism and the teasing need to feel the smoothness of rosary beads slipping through my fingers-- the thrum of passion in my veins that can lead to either lovemaking or gunplay with assault weapons-- the habitual use , some would say misuse, of garlic.

The feet of my family are no longer quite as purple but the pull towards the old country is strong. LBC offers me a cleaner, less purple-footed, surer, conservative, saintly way to salvation with only mild hints of garlic.

I laughed at your silly attempts to explain the universe and returned to the True Christian Way in which all things stretch forth from the Hand of Almighty God -- Who we can assume HAS hands,( unlike some other so-called deities), since we humans were made in His image, (minus the manparts for some of us.)

Begone you betrayer of truth! God is not pasta, but pasta is the work given to my people by God. How else could we turn such simple substances into so many fanciful forms if not for the guiding Hand of the Great Sculptor Himself?

When next I bow my head over a plate of rotini, or linguini, or fettucini, or any other ini, I will thank the Lord Jesus for my meal and my reasonably clean feet.

Dismissively Yours,

Handmaiden

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Begone you betrayer of truth! God is not pasta, but pasta is the work given to my people by God. How else could we turn such simple substances into so many fanciful forms if not for the guiding Hand of the Great Sculptor Himself?


Handmaiden

Well said, Handy. It's such an injustice that the followers of GSM are allowed to preach this mockery to the gullible public. There should be a law that only the solid, verifiable truth, that found in KJV 1611, is available for people to read.