Atheism: The Ultimate Excuse

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

No atheist ever does any good, according to the Bible.

Psalm 14:1

King James Version (KJV)

Psalm 14

1The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

The above verse shows that atheism will justify any sort of abominable deed. This means that there is no reason to do good, apart from a belief in God. So if there were no God we should just do whatever we want. Feel like raping a goat? Go ahead! Feel like eating human flesh? By all means! Want to divine the future by reference to the warm entrails of a still living child? Not a problem! "There is no God, so we can do anything," says the atheist, and if there were no God, he would be right.

We must remember that whatever we would do in the absence of God, is exactly what atheists are doing right now!

What sort of abominations would you commit if you thought there was no God? By archiving these latent tendencies in ourselves we can find out what the filthy atheists are up to.

Don't be shy. We need to do this to protect ourselves and our children from atheists. If you secretly want to rape dogs, and drink their blood through their rectums, we need to know about this so we can find the atheists who are doing it already and stop them!

I'll start:

I would build a false idol and worship it. Then I would add and take away from scripture so that I would not be alone in Hell.

What would you do if you were an atheist?

[Jedediah]

Re: Atheism: The Ultimate Excuse

Hmm... for starters: I would sleep in on Sundays, wouldn't use the rod of correction on my sons so often, and would have lots of anonymous homosexural intercourse (in the anus). I would also probably take up cooking, since I might as well go the whole nine yards on the fag thing.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Atheism: The Ultimate Excuse

If I were an atheist I suppose I would start my day by asking satan what his orders were for the day, eat a Christian baby for breakfast, and then go volunteer for the Re-Elect Obama campaign.

[The Lord's Sword]

Re: Atheism: The Ultimate Excuse

Hmm... for starters: I would sleep in on Sundays, wouldn't use the rod of correction on my sons so often, and would have lots of anonymous homosexural intercourse (in the anus). I would also probably take up cooking, since I might as well go the whole nine yards on the fag thing.

I agree, since I wouldn't know the difference between right and wrong or good and bad, I'd probably just set up a shack in the woods behind a interstate rest area and take man after man anally. In between my 48 hour anal sex sessions, I'd probably take some time to kick pregnant women in the stomachs. Also, I would become a catlick priest, eating babies, drinking blood, and raping children. Without Jesus what's stopping me?!

[Bob4God]

Re: Atheism: The Ultimate Excuse

If I were an atheist, I would shoot somebody over and over in the head.

It doesn't really matter who.

I would start by placing the barrel in their mouth and telling them how I hate them and how the world would be a better place without them.

The person would no doubt be crying and shaking, and trying to humanize himself in my eyes.

The person would tell me about his family, his life, his hopes and dreams, all while his pathetic drool ran down the barrel of the pistol in his mouth.

He would appeal to my mercy, knowing that I was the only one who could choose to save him from the fate I have selected for him.

Once the person could say no more than "please, please," I would cock the gun and gently apply pressure to the trigger, until it finally tripped and the first round was unloaded into the person's head, the sound of the shot ringing like a blissful melody in my ears.

Then, I would start shooting them over and over and over in the head as fast as I could, until I had totally exhausted my supply of bullets, and then I would write in their own blood on the floor, "GOD IS DEAD."

When we remove JESUS from our hearts, we remove all concept of morality and justice.

Each person would be accountable only to themselves, and the person I shot over and over would've been his own god, who is now lying dead on the floor.

Fortunately, my belief in the Bible has kept me from acting out this scenario on more than a few occasions, and I thank JESUS everyday that I am not like those sick atheists who have all lost their moral compass.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Atheism: The Ultimate Excuse

If I was an atheist...

I'd go online and mock Christians, using their own Bible, showing how any coherent reading of Scripture yields nothing but contradiction, confusion, and unspeakable horror.

Oh wait...

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Atheism: The Ultimate Excuse

If I were an atheist, I'd let my wife in the house during her unclean time.





Good grief, just thinking about it makes me want to heave.



YiC,

Zech
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[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Atheism: The Ultimate Excuse

I thought of another one: If I were an atheist, I would find a pregnant woman and rip out her baby. Then I would take the baby and open it up so I could see its intestines. Then I would carefully inspect the intestines to see if Satan had left me any signs in there.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Atheism: The Ultimate Excuse

There'd be some serious coveting going on. Starting with that guy down the street's wife.

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: Atheism: The Ultimate Excuse

There'd be some serious coveting going on. Starting with that guy down the street's wife.

Or the guy down the street.

There is a young builder guy who is working next door. If I was an atheist I would long to be embraced be his big strong arms as I stare into his dreamy eyes. I would think of him holding me down and taking me in every imaginable way.

However as a True Christian these thoughts would not even enter my mind.

Disgusting!

YIC

Jack

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Atheism: The Ultimate Excuse

If Atheists ran the world there would be treating their wives as house pets and sex objects, children would be living lives of constant terror and what passed for just would be swift, merciless death for the strangest of crimes. PRAISE Jesus I am a TRUE Christian and don't live in that nightmare world.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Atheism: The Ultimate Excuse

Being a pretty thrifty fella (and assuming I was an atheisticle ) I would be thinking financialwise.

I would mosy on down to the local Venture Scouts meeting hall and use my atheist powers of science to pursued one of the comely teenage girls to follow me to the local abandoned quarry and rape the bejesus out of her.

Then, I would would drag her to her house and calmly tell her dad exactly what I have done and watch his stupid crying face crumple in misery as he realises that I've done him out of 50 shekels

And I would not even need to marry the whore

YIC

[Redeemed Papist]

Or the guy down the street.

There is a young builder guy who is working next door. If I was an atheist I would long to be embraced be his big strong arms as I stare into his dreamy eyes. I would think of him holding me down and taking me in every imaginable way.

However as a True Christian these thoughts would not even enter my mind.

Disgusting!

YIC

Jack

Well yes, as an atheist why wouldn't you? Even his pets wouldn't be safe. It just gets more horrible the more you think about it.
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[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Atheism: The Ultimate Excuse

Well, I suppose if I were truly an atheist and had no moral reckoning one way or the other, I would leave my children and my husband behind and embrace a life of sexual exploration that would only be overshadowed by my drug experimentation. I would likely spend nights at Rave parties doing drugs and dancing with men and women I don't know, whose names don't matter, whose piercings vie for the most outrageous award. I would find myself in back rooms with a man of unknown origin, doing all kinds of depraved things while another man did depraved things to me. And I would like it, probably, because I wouldn't know any better. I would turn around and join in with other young women, we'd compare breast sizes and nipple hardness and perkiness and have contests like who can hold the most pencils under her breast without using her hands. Surely the men would judge us and then reward the winner with whatever he decided would be most appropriate. And I would likely do this for hours on end until I passed out in my own vomit in the back of somebody's car or in an alley. When I'd find myself pregnant I'd go to the nearest Planned Parenthood where they'd know me by name and we'd talk about how much fun it is to be a woman. Probably I'd end up kissing some random women there just because I'd know they are all atheists, too, and therefore without any morals or scruples of any kind. Yeah, that's probably what I would do. Oh, and I would move to San Francisco.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Atheism: The Ultimate Excuse

Without the moral compass of the Ten Commandments, I would most likely hate my parents. As an atheist, why would it matter if I sodomized my father in his sleep? Or forged his home title, evicted him and sold it for my gain? Anything goes when one hates God.

In Christ