Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

[Nobar King]

I was out riding my bike today, enjoying a sunny spring afternoon, and I came upon a unicyclist. I slowed down to check him out, and he didn't seem threatening, so I asked him a few questions about unicycling.

This fellow didn't look like a clown or a juggalo; he was wearing bike shorts and had a hydration pack. This guy was going for a serious ride, and barely stopped to talk to me. He was quite a skillful rider, so I asked him if he was a clown:
"No"
"Good. I hate clowns. They're scary."
"Ha. Yeah."

So, this unicyclist denied being a clown, but since you can't trust clowns, it's tough to say whether he was telling the truth or not.

After I rode away I got to thinking about unicyclists. They're a solitary type. Most clowns ride unicycles, and a lot of unicyclists are clowns, so the odds are greater that he was an undercover clown, and maybe a juggalo, too.

Am I right in being wary of trusting unicyclists?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

Am I right in being wary of trusting unicyclists?

If God had meant for man to ride unicycles, He would have blessed us all with impeccable balance.

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

I would trust a unicyclist as much as I would trust a woman to fly a plane.

[JennyD]

Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

I would trust a unicyclist as much as I would trust a woman to fly a plane.

We saw how well that worked for Amelia Earhardt, didn't we?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

It is a little-known fact that all practitioners of unicyclery are in fact chronic masturbators.

Meaning homers who like to show off.

[Nobar King]

Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

Being as tonight is Sunday night this unicycle image is appropriate:

[Stanrules666]

Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

That's rediculous, it's a guy on a one wheeled bike, nothing more.

Not that many clowns ride unicycles and juggalos don't have the coordination to ride unicycles.

I hate juggalos but you know when somebody is one it's rather obvious.

[Talitha]

Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

They are an Abomination!

I think these people were born with the Unicycle attached to their bodies.
I've never seen a Unicyclist without a Cycle.

In fact there should be a Law passed against all Cyclists. One wheel or two. It should be perfectly legal to run them down.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

I only saw a unicyclist but once. He struck me as doing something ungodly, weird and unnatural. I stuck my walking stick into his spokes to stop him disturbing people and getting them excited. Getting excited ain’t natural for a soul. Therefore unicycling ain’t natural, I wouldn’t do it, therefore it’s against God.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

Unicyclist and mimes should all be stoned to death. It is clear they are all vile, perverted homers.

AMEN!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

Unicycles are neither bicycles or pogosticks. Therefor they are luke warm and I spit them out as God commands me.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

They are an Abomination!

I think these people were born with the Unicycle attached to their bodies.
I've never seen a Unicyclist without a Cycle.

In fact there should be a Law passed against all Cyclists. One wheel or two. It should be perfectly legal to run them down.

I should step in here and point out that Sister Talitha is being terse and she also meant to say ",..but of course I follow all of the vehicle laws of the State of Iowa." As we have explained to the Iowa State police Sister Talitha is utterly horrified over the seven bicyclist killed in hit-and-runs by a black Chevy Suburban in Harris, Boone and Randolph townships in last year. The allegations by a certain Officer Martin of the Iowa State Police that Sister Taltha was somehow involved are utterly groundless and result of Officer Martin's deep seated hatred of Baptists.

[Talitha]

Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

I should step in here and point out that Sister Talitha is being terse and she also meant to say ",..but of course I follow all of the vehicle laws of the State of Iowa." As we have explained to the Iowa State police Sister Talitha is utterly horrified over the seven bicyclist killed in hit-and-runs by a black Chevy Suburban in Harris, Boone and Randolph townships in last year. The allegations by a certain Officer Martin of the Iowa State Police that Sister Taltha was somehow involved are utterly groundless and result of Officer Martin's deep seated hatred of Baptists.

It's illegal to run down Cyclists? Thank you for defending me dear BJ. It's unbelievable how much persecution we True Christians™ have to endure in our everyday life.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

It's illegal to run down Cyclists? Thank you for defending me dear BJ. It's unbelievable how much persecution we True Christians™ have to endure in our everyday life.

We Christians must be our brother's(and sister's) keepers against the evil of the world. It is really vile how people just assume the most horrible things when they see something out of the ordinary. Everybody knows those dents on your Suburban were caused by a freak hail storm that caused a truck to lose a load of paint cans and live chickens. But then Iowa’s chief anti-Baptist bigot Officer Martin has to jump in with his Catholic paranoia and start spinning head sized dents and chicken blood as something sinister.

[Talitha]

Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

We Christians must be our brother's(and sister's) keepers against the evil of the world. It is really vile how people just assume the most horrible things when they see something out of the ordinary. Everybody knows those dents on your Suburban were caused by a freak hail storm that caused a truck to lose a load of paint cans and live chickens. But then Iowa’s chief anti-Baptist bigot Officer Martin has to jump in with his Catholic paranoia and start spinning head sized dents and chicken blood as something sinister.

Not only that, but when my big buck negra gardener got a whiff of that Chicken blood he tried to eat the car. Hence the teeth marks on the Fender