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  • #1

    Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

    I was out riding my bike today, enjoying a sunny spring afternoon, and I came upon a unicyclist. I slowed down to check him out, and he didn't seem threatening, so I asked him a few questions about unicycling.

    This fellow didn't look like a clown or a juggalo; he was wearing bike shorts and had a hydration pack. This guy was going for a serious ride, and barely stopped to talk to me. He was quite a skillful rider, so I asked him if he was a clown:
    "No"
    "Good. I hate clowns. They're scary."
    "Ha. Yeah."

    So, this unicyclist denied being a clown, but since you can't trust clowns, it's tough to say whether he was telling the truth or not.

    After I rode away I got to thinking about unicyclists. They're a solitary type. Most clowns ride unicycles, and a lot of unicyclists are clowns, so the odds are greater that he was an undercover clown, and maybe a juggalo, too.

    Am I right in being wary of trusting unicyclists?
    21
    Yes, I trust them.
    0%
    5
    No, stupid clowns can't be trusted.
    0%
    16
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

    Originally posted by Nobar King
    Am I right in being wary of trusting unicyclists?
    If God had meant for man to ride unicycles, He would have blessed us all with impeccable balance.
    Posted via Prayer

    1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
    Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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    • #3
      Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

      I would trust a unicyclist as much as I would trust a woman to fly a plane.
      READ THE BIBLE

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      • #4
        Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

        Originally posted by Unfalsifiable View Post
        I would trust a unicyclist as much as I would trust a woman to fly a plane.
        We saw how well that worked for Amelia Earhardt, didn't we?
        www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
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        • #5
          Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

          It is a little-known fact that all practitioners of unicyclery are in fact chronic masturbators.

          Meaning homers who like to show off.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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          • #6
            Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

            Being as tonight is Sunday night this unicycle image is appropriate:
            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

              That's rediculous, it's a guy on a one wheeled bike, nothing more.

              Not that many clowns ride unicycles and juggalos don't have the coordination to ride unicycles.

              I hate juggalos but you know when somebody is one it's rather obvious.

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              • #8
                Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

                They are an Abomination!

                I think these people were born with the Unicycle attached to their bodies.
                I've never seen a Unicyclist without a Cycle.

                In fact there should be a Law passed against all Cyclists. One wheel or two. It should be perfectly legal to run them down.

                Sister Talitha

                Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


                HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
                being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


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                • #9
                  Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

                  I only saw a unicyclist but once. He struck me as doing something ungodly, weird and unnatural. I stuck my walking stick into his spokes to stop him disturbing people and getting them excited. Getting excited ain’t natural for a soul. Therefore unicycling ain’t natural, I wouldn’t do it, therefore it’s against God.
                  sigpic


                  “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                  Author of such illuminating essays as,
                  Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

                    Unicyclist and mimes should all be stoned to death. It is clear they are all vile, perverted homers.

                    AMEN!
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                    • #11
                      Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

                      Unicycles are neither bicycles or pogosticks. Therefor they are luke warm and I spit them out as God commands me.

                      Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                      Hot Must ReadThreads!


                      Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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                      • #12
                        Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

                        Originally posted by Talitha View Post
                        They are an Abomination!

                        I think these people were born with the Unicycle attached to their bodies.
                        I've never seen a Unicyclist without a Cycle.

                        In fact there should be a Law passed against all Cyclists. One wheel or two. It should be perfectly legal to run them down.
                        I should step in here and point out that Sister Talitha is being terse and she also meant to say ",..but of course I follow all of the vehicle laws of the State of Iowa." As we have explained to the Iowa State police Sister Talitha is utterly horrified over the seven bicyclist killed in hit-and-runs by a black Chevy Suburban in Harris, Boone and Randolph townships in last year. The allegations by a certain Officer Martin of the Iowa State Police that Sister Taltha was somehow involved are utterly groundless and result of Officer Martin's deep seated hatred of Baptists.

                        Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                        Hot Must ReadThreads!


                        Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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                        • #13
                          Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

                          Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
                          I should step in here and point out that Sister Talitha is being terse and she also meant to say ",..but of course I follow all of the vehicle laws of the State of Iowa." As we have explained to the Iowa State police Sister Talitha is utterly horrified over the seven bicyclist killed in hit-and-runs by a black Chevy Suburban in Harris, Boone and Randolph townships in last year. The allegations by a certain Officer Martin of the Iowa State Police that Sister Taltha was somehow involved are utterly groundless and result of Officer Martin's deep seated hatred of Baptists.
                          It's illegal to run down Cyclists? Thank you for defending me dear BJ. It's unbelievable how much persecution we True Christians™ have to endure in our everyday life.

                          Sister Talitha

                          Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


                          HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
                          being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


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                          • #14
                            Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

                            Originally posted by Talitha View Post
                            It's illegal to run down Cyclists? Thank you for defending me dear BJ. It's unbelievable how much persecution we True Christians™ have to endure in our everyday life.
                            We Christians must be our brother's(and sister's) keepers against the evil of the world. It is really vile how people just assume the most horrible things when they see something out of the ordinary. Everybody knows those dents on your Suburban were caused by a freak hail storm that caused a truck to lose a load of paint cans and live chickens. But then Iowa’s chief anti-Baptist bigot Officer Martin has to jump in with his Catholic paranoia and start spinning head sized dents and chicken blood as something sinister.

                            Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                            Hot Must ReadThreads!


                            Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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                            • #15
                              Re: Unicyclists: Can they be trusted?

                              Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
                              We Christians must be our brother's(and sister's) keepers against the evil of the world. It is really vile how people just assume the most horrible things when they see something out of the ordinary. Everybody knows those dents on your Suburban were caused by a freak hail storm that caused a truck to lose a load of paint cans and live chickens. But then Iowa’s chief anti-Baptist bigot Officer Martin has to jump in with his Catholic paranoia and start spinning head sized dents and chicken blood as something sinister.
                              Not only that, but when my big buck negra gardener got a whiff of that Chicken blood he tried to eat the car. Hence the teeth marks on the Fender

                              Sister Talitha

                              Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


                              HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
                              being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


                              Comment

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