[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Guess which True Christian couple is having a baby!

Congratulations, and praise the Lord! I'm sure that the newest soldier for Christ will be every bit as fine-looking as his parents.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Guess which True Christian couple is having a baby!

CONGRATULATIONS! I'm still sorry I couldn't make your wedding as I was birthing my own little Soldier for Christ (and his sister) at the time, but I will make up for it! Now I'm not going to tell you what you're getting for a gift yet, but just don't buy a crib or a manger.
Now to go pray that you have a healthy son!

[JennyD]

Re: Guess which True Christian couple is having a baby!

Congratulations, Sister Victory Over Sex! How far along are you?

I might have to come back to Freehold for your baby shower! (You don't mind if Vinnie and a few of the boys come along, do you? They're so very protective.)

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Guess which True Christian couple is having a baby!

Victoria just got home from the doctor's office. She didn't tell me she was going to see the doctor, and wasn't expecting me to have today off. You better believe she's holding an icepack against her eye right now.

That bastard of a doctor told her he thinks something is "wrong" with the baby!!! WHAT AN IDIOT!!! GOD WOULD NOT ALLOW IT. HE WOULDN'T.

Now he's got Victoria all scared and worried that she's cooking a retarded baby in her stomach!! ISN'T THAT RIDICULOUS?!

We have honored God all our lives. No way HE would give us a retard abomination.

[SUV]

Re: Guess which True Christian couple is having a baby!

Victoria just got home from the doctor's office. She didn't tell me she was going to see the doctor, and wasn't expecting me to have today off. You better believe she's holding an icepack against her eye right now.

So.....so then.....Sister Victory has shown up after all?

PS I understand that a nice Beefsteak on the eye makes the swelling and bruising go away more quickly

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Guess which True Christian couple is having a baby!

So.....so then.....Sister Victory has shown up after all?

PS I understand that a nice Beefsteak on the eye makes the swelling and bruising go away more quickly

Cold tea bags help too. If I put a few on an hour or so before Church the swelling is hardly noticeable.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Guess which True Christian couple is having a baby!

I wanted to clarify about the prayer request I made in church on Sunday.

A lot of you have been asking, and I don't know what could "be wrong with the baby."

I and Vicky have always been in optimal health, and it's not like we have defective atheist genes or something. (If genes actually do exist anyway.)

Our relationship with God is strong. We know that he would never leave or forsake us, and that this is likely another one of his tests of our faith.

I am more inclined to trust the creator of the universe before I trust some doctor with some fancy tools to test for retardedness.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Guess which True Christian couple is having a baby!

Look, Officer Don, let me tell you not to worry a thing. These doctors have no idea what they are talking about. If anything, he's probably just trying to bilk you. You can't trust physicians because they are unscrupulous individuals who use lies to swindle you out of your money.

You should listen to me instead, an honest televangelist. Now I tell you that your baby is fine. How do I know this? Well, last night before I went to bed I asked out loud "Jesus, please tell me about Don and Vicky's baby. Will he be alright?". And I heard a resounding answer: "YES!"

I am 110% sure your child will be okay! Never before have I been so sure of what Jesus has told me. Heck, I'm so sure of myself I will publicly and proudly declare that if you're child is not normal, then I'm a no-good fraud who has schizophrenic notions that he can have a two-way conversation with Jesus!

I'm sure you will sleep better tonight after having heard this from me.

[Bob4God]

Re: Guess which True Christian couple is having a baby!

Reverend Osborne, what an inspiring testimony of faith in our LORD JESUS CHRIST that you would stake your honest reputation upon it!

I too have been praying for the Richards' baby and I think my prayer might have been in line just behind yours last night!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Guess which True Christian couple is having a baby!

I wanted to clarify about the prayer request I made in church on Sunday.

A lot of you have been asking, and I don't know what could "be wrong with the baby."

I and Vicky have always been in optimal health, and it's not like we have defective atheist genes or something. (If genes actually do exist anyway.)

Our relationship with God is strong. We know that he would never leave or forsake us, and that this is likely another one of his tests of our faith.

I am more inclined to trust the creator of the universe before I trust some doctor with some fancy tools to test for retardedness.

Officer Richards, don't you worry a bit. The Good Lord will provide!

Have you decided what to name the little tyke?

I hear "Trig" is becoming quite popular these days.