Is a daughter REQUIRED to marry her rapist?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

The Bible tells us that a rapist must pay the father of the raped girl fifty shekels of silver, and marry the girl, and that the rapist may not put her away.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (King James Version)

If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

My read of this is, "Buddy, you break it, you bought it." If a man chooses to break a virgin's hymen, thus reducing her value to her father, then he must pay the dowry and be responsible for supporting her for the rest of her life . . . since no proper man will want her after that.

But does this require the daughter to marry the rapist?

I propose that the daughter doesn't have to actually marry the rapist; it is the rapist who is required to marry the daughter, not the other way around.

This, we know, is for the protection of the father and the daughter; the father, so he need not bear the cost of supporting a spinster, and the daughter so that she has the opportunity to wed and raise children. And because she might already be pregnant with the rapist's seed.

But if she wishes not to be wed, or has been so damaged that she can't bear children anyway, why put her through that? She should be allowed to waive her right to marriage, if she so desires. That just leaves the father to be compensated.

This could be handled by the rapist providing "rapee support" to the father on a regular basis, following the initial lump sum.

If the rapist can't provide the necessary income, the daughter would be on her own. She could go forth and become a harlot, or perhaps a television weathergirl. In any case, her father would not have to support her any longer.

So, it seems the choices for the girl are:

Marry the rapist and be supported for the rest of her life;
Stay home with her father, who will receive money from the rapist to support her; or
Be tossed out in the street by her father.

The good news is that she has choices!

I think this is a more compassionate approach to a difficult verse. What do you think?

[godswraith1]

Re: Is a daughter REQUIRED to marry her rapist?

What if the rapist refuses to marry her ? Would you really let your daughter marry a rapist .i don't think you would talks cheap

[Didymus Much]

Re: Is a daughter REQUIRED to marry her rapist?

...So, it seems the choices for the girl are:

Marry the rapist and be supported for the rest of her life;
Stay home with her father, who will receive money from the rapist to support her; or
Be tossed out in the street by her father.

...

How do the latter two options accord with "she shall be his wife"?

If she's at home with her father, she is not his (the rapist's) wife.
If she's out on the street, she is not the rapist's wife.

...The good news is that she has choices!...

But the other two "choices" involve disobeying the will of God as revealed to us in the King James Bible, and you know where that leads...

...I think this is a more compassionate approach to a difficult verse. What do you think?

I think you're going soft, Rev. Who are you to question God's Word?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Is a daughter REQUIRED to marry her rapist?

How do the latter two options accord with "she shall be his wife"?

If she's at home with her father, she is not his (the rapist's) wife.
If she's out on the street, she is not the rapist's wife.

"She shall be his wife" doesn't stand on its own. It is a consequence of the requirement for the rapist to marry her, not a commandment that she must marry him.

What if the rapist refuses to marry her ? Would you really let your daughter marry a rapist .i don't think you would talks cheap

If the rapist refuses to marry her, then he is put to death. Depending on the rapee, this may be preferable for the rapist.

As for talk being cheap . . . obedience to God's Command is not cheap. Google "Jephthah's daughter".

[godswraith1]

Re: Is a daughter REQUIRED to marry her rapist?

"She shall be his wife" doesn't stand on its own. It is a consequence of the requirement for the rapist to marry her, not a commandment that she must marry him.


If the rapist refuses to marry her, then he is put to death. Depending on the rapee, this may be preferable for the rapist.

As for talk being cheap . . . obedience to God's Command is not cheap. Google "Jephthah's daughter".

No he's put to jail

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Is a daughter REQUIRED to marry her rapist?

No he's put to jail

I'm talking Biblical law, dimwit.

Secular law does not presently allow a rapist to marry the girl he raped.

Are all atheists as stupid as you?

[Didymus Much]

Re: Is a daughter REQUIRED to marry her rapist?

"She shall be his wife" doesn't stand on its own. It is a consequence of the requirement for the rapist to marry her, not a commandment that she must marry him...

re·quire   [ri-kwahyuhr] Show IPA verb, re·quired, re·quir·ing.
verb (used with object)
1. to have need of; need: He requires medical care.
2. to call on authoritatively; order or enjoin to do something: to require an agent to account for money spent.
3. to ask for authoritatively or imperatively; demand.
4. to impose need or occasion for; make necessary or indispensable: The work required infinite patience.
5. to call for or exact as obligatory; ordain: The law requires annual income-tax returns.

from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/require

So when are you publishing your "Honorary True Christian's™ Dictionary" that defines "requirement" as meaning "demanded, unless it's inconvenient or you'd really rather not", because I still don't see anything optional in that verse?

As for talk being cheap . . . obedience to God's Command is not cheap. Google "Jephthah's daughter".

What about counselling others to disobey God's clear instructions? Is that cheap?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Is a daughter REQUIRED to marry her rapist?

So when are you publishing your "Honorary True Christian's™ Dictionary" that defines "requirement" as meaning "demanded, unless it's inconvenient or you'd really rather not", because I still don't see anything optional in that verse?



What about counselling others to disobey God's clear instructions? Is that cheap?

The command is to the rapist, not to the daughter, and the law exists to protect the father's property rights and the daughter's right to bear legitimate children.

And, I think, to ensure that she doesn't bear a rapist's bastard who then makes a claim on her father's house. You know, the inheritance of her brothers.

Suppose the rapist is already married, Didymus? What do you do then? He can't divorce his present wife, and he can't have multiple wives.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Is a daughter REQUIRED to marry her rapist?

I prefer not to twist scripture, personally. Who cares if God looks harsh and unfair by modern secular standards? God's values are the only reliable standard for moral judgement.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Is a daughter REQUIRED to marry her rapist?

I think it is implicit in these verses and the cultural context at the time that a woman has no choice in whom she marries. God was fine with women being the property of their fathers and husbands. It was only secularism that put a stop to this wise custom.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Is a daughter REQUIRED to marry her rapist?

...And, I think, to ensure that she doesn't bear a rapist's bastard...

She'd only bear a bastard if they WEREN'T married.

...Suppose the rapist is already married, Didymus? What do you do then? He can't divorce his present wife, and he can't have multiple wives.

Says who (unless he's a bishop)?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Is a daughter REQUIRED to marry her rapist?

I think it is implicit in these verses and the cultural context at the time that a woman has no choice in whom she marries. God was fine with women being the property of their fathers and husbands. It was only secularism that put a stop to this wise custom.

What if the father doesn't want her to marry the rapist? Maybe the rapist is a good friend of the father, and he doesn't want to inflict that punishment upon him for succumbing to the temptress in a moment of weakness.

Says who (unless he's a bishop)?

And what if he is?

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Is a daughter REQUIRED to marry her rapist?

What if the father doesn't want her to marry the rapist? Maybe the rapist is a good friend of the father, and he doesn't want to inflict that punishment upon him for succumbing to the temptress in a moment of weakness.

I will concede that perhaps the father could forgive the rapist. He would be the one to report it as a crime in the first place I think. If the father has no complaint, then nobody has a right to complain. After all, anti-rape laws are intended to protect fathers from having to pay for their daughters indefinitely. It is only the hymen that makes a woman worth anything to a potential husband.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Is a daughter REQUIRED to marry her rapist?

What if the father doesn't want her to marry the rapist?...

Where does the Scripture in question hang on the wishes of the father? Does the father know better what's good for him than God does?

...And what if he is [a bishop]?

I recalled this bit of Scripture:

1 Timothy 3:2 "A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;"

But while looking for it I also found this:

1 Timothy 3:12 "Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well."

Aside from those specific cases (bishops and deacons), is there any Scripture that limits men to one wife? Think of Solomon, among others.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Is a daughter REQUIRED to marry her rapist?

Where does the Scripture in question hang on the wishes of the father? Does the father know better what's good for him than God does?

As Billy Bob and I have both pointed out, the primary point of the law is to protect the father. There's no reason he can't waive his compensation, or negotiate other forms of compensation.

I recalled this bit of Scripture:

1 Timothy 3:2 "A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;"

But while looking for it I also found this:

1 Timothy 3:12 "Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well."

Aside from those specific cases (bishops and deacons), is there any Scripture that limits men to one wife? Think of Solomon, among others.

That's why I said, "and if he is?". Neither a bishop nor a deacon can divorce his wife and marry the rape victim.

Granted, since the bishop would be guilty of fornication, thus no longer blameless, he'd no longer be a bishop. But a deacon . . .