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  • Mistress Cookie
    Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
    True Christian™
    • Jul 2008
    • 6790

    #106
    Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

    Originally posted by Noah Dint View Post
    It amazes me to see just how perfectly you define situations Sister Cookie. Your wisdom is that of a 400 year old prophet. And as usual, you are dead on target with this one.
    Thank you, Brother Dint. I do try my best to share what I have learned. Though I would like to stress quite clearly that I have not been here for anything like 400 years!

    One area in which I have somewhat "advanced" thinking (and I just know some of the Male Elders are going to come down on me for repeating this once again) is the area of cooking.

    It goes without saying that all pies in the home should be cooked by the wife, as this is the cornerstone that binds the American family together, and makes Daddy ever so much easier to deal with when there's a good supply onhand.

    But the rest of the cooking can easily be done by the children, practically from the time they can stand. The measuring, etc., is good for their math and manual dexterity skills, they learn firsthand what "hot" and "cold" is, and when they've actually made the meal, they won't whine and ask if there's anything else to eat that's off the menu.

    Several toaster ovens can be arranged on a low table, and these can hold oblong casseroles for macaroni and cheese, meatloaf, and even containers parbroiling vegetables. As for a cold salad, that is easy enough to make, served with bottled dressing. (You may want to supervise the chopping of salad vegetables, though.)

    In addition to giving children a sense of pride and contribution, freeing Mommie up from the cooking allows her to be even more of a helpmeet to Daddy, see to his needs, and even embark on repairs around the home that may take additional time and training for her to complete properly.

    Comment

    • Daisy Mae Johnson
      The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
      Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
      aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 15708

      #107
      Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

      Originally posted by TC Patriot View Post
      My parents used many methods on me. Godly mother would blow out the pilot light and hold me over a gas stove. Sometimes she would leave the flame going and shout Armegeddon!


      Your Mother sounds like a wonderful gal with a good sense of humor. JESUS appreciates a good sense of humor he showed that by walking on water.
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      • Ezekiel Bathfire
        Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
        Christ's Rottweiler
         
        • Jan 2008
        • 22897

        #108
        Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

        I used to tell mine that the Atheist would come and get them:

        Click image for larger version

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        This poster helped too.
        sigpic


        “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

        Author of such illuminating essays as,
        Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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        • proudharlot
          Unsaved trash
          • Jan 2010
          • 13

          #109
          Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
          I always thought that you're just supposed to slap the hell out of them when they cry.

          That's what my parents did, and I came out just fine.
          You came out a sick chauvinistic pig who probably sticks all sorts of random objects up his bum. You're a closet fag, you're a hater, and you're doomed to eternity in Hell. I know because GOD TOLD ME!

          Comment

          • shameroncollier
            Unsaved trash, uppity nigress
            • Jan 2010
            • 46

            #110
            Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

            Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
            Greetings Brothers and Sisters

            I've noticed we don't have very many threads about cranky babies so I decided to start one and offer my own advice.

            TIP

            When your baby is crying in church, the best way to shut them up is to drag them out of the Church like so:

            I know I used to do it with my own little Tater and believe you me, he knew when to shut his yap after that.

            Please post your tips here!

            Lve, Sister Thumper

            this is dangerous...

            Comment

            • Cranky Old Man
              Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
              You kids get off his lawn!
               
              • Jan 2010
              • 22378

              #111
              Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

              Originally posted by proudharlot View Post
              You came out a sick chauvinistic pig who probably sticks all sorts of random objects up his bum. You're a closet fag,
              Since you are bringing it up, it's probably you who is a fag. Romans 1:27 "And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet."

              Originally posted by proudharlot View Post
              I know because GOD TOLD ME!
              How did He do that?
              5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
              To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
              James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

              Comment

              • sarah meis
                Unsaved trash
                Under Investigation
                • Jan 2010
                • 7

                #112
                Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                I believe the putting head under streaming water works best.
                Last week i trew my oldest son adam in a cold bath.
                He was immediatly quiet , and was so scared he didnt do anything wrong te next day.

                Comment

                • Oakland "Reb" Griner
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Jun 2009
                  • 2241

                  #113
                  Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                  I happily note paregoric has now been reformulated for use on troublesome infants, without the serious risk of addiction. Just look for the brand names Ny-Quil and Benedryl.

                  Recall, these are to be used as supplements to the rod of correction, not as a substitute.
                  Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are unGodly among them of all their unGodly deeds which they have unGodly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which unGodly sinners have spoken against him.

                  Comment

                  • Daisy Mae Johnson
                    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 15708

                    #114
                    Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                    Originally posted by Oakland "Reb" Griner View Post
                    I happily note paregoric has now been reformulated for use on troublesome infants, without the serious risk of addiction. Just look for the brand names Ny-Quil and Benedryl.

                    Recall, these are to be used as supplements to the rod of correction, not as a substitute.
                    If you are out of Benedryl or Ny-quil a few ounces whiskey, rum or vodka will do in a pinch. Mix it with juice or soda to sweeten the taste.
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                    • Mistress Cookie
                      Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                      True Christian™
                      • Jul 2008
                      • 6790

                      #115
                      Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                      Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
                      If you are out of Benedryl or Ny-quil a few ounces of whiskey, rum or vodka will do in a pinch. Mix it with juice or soda to sweeten the taste.
                      Another one I use, when the neighbors' kids are making too much noise outside, is sugar cubes drizzled with cognac or brandy...or the cherry and berry-flavored licqures (sp?) work, too.

                      I bring out a heaping tray and just leave it with them.

                      Comment

                      • Daisy Mae Johnson
                        The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                        Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                        aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 15708

                        #116
                        Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                        <BUMP>

                        For Brother Chem and all new parents-to-be.

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                        • Chemistry
                          Unsaved trash
                           
                          • Apr 2010
                          • 50

                          #117
                          Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                          My nephew just turned 3. My mother had spent most of her time helping raising him since both my brother and sister-in-law work . (Neither go to church ) But my mother takes him (my nephew) to church and has been raising him the right way . He knows better than to act out in church.
                          Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of the wicked, for the evil man has no future hope, and the lamp of the wicked will be snuffed out. Fear the Lord and the king, my son, and do not join with the rebellious, for those two will send sudden destruction upon them, and who knows what calamities they can bring? -- Proverbs 24:19-22

                          Comment

                          • Purge the Unfaithful
                            Confirmed Enemy of God
                            BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                            • Apr 2010
                            • 176

                            #118
                            Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                            All you need to know about child rearing is found in Proverbs

                            Prov 13:24: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son:

                            Prov 22:15: "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."

                            I pray in Jesus' name!!!

                            Comment

                            • Chemistry
                              Unsaved trash
                               
                              • Apr 2010
                              • 50

                              #119
                              Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                              Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
                              <BUMP>

                              For Brother Chem and all new parents-to-be.

                              Thank you, that was very thoughtful of you
                              Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of the wicked, for the evil man has no future hope, and the lamp of the wicked will be snuffed out. Fear the Lord and the king, my son, and do not join with the rebellious, for those two will send sudden destruction upon them, and who knows what calamities they can bring? -- Proverbs 24:19-22

                              Comment

                              • Sidoain
                                Unsaved trash, Hatian with the AIDS!
                                • Jul 2009
                                • 173

                                #120
                                Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                                Why all this? You Christians are brutal. I will never do these kind of thing once i have a child. Ok, punish him with a road(I prefer the belt) Is alright, but the cage and other stuff i saw in the whole thread are just too brutal.

                                My recommendation, once your child is 5-7 years old and is still cranky or any other term, subscribe him to a sport team like Football.(My father did subscribe me to football for a total of 8 years) His coach will make him suffer for you. They will make him run, they will let other kids beat him hard, they will raise him into a real man. There are also camp for kids. There, they can raise your kid just like they do it in the Army. Warning, do not subscribe your kid into soccer. This sport is for gay ppl.

                                That way, you dont risk the chance to see your own child calling the police or any neighbors. As a result, you risk 0% chance to see your son being adopted by gay couple.
                                Leviticus 18:23 Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.

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