Tweet
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRANKY OLD MAN
May the LORD call you home to His Bosom soon!
-
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRANKY OLD MAN
Please, try not to be too frustrated if you wake up still on Earth. You're so close to the Finish Line. Perhaps tomorrow will see you finally in Heaven with Jesus and President Reagan!
2 Timothy 4:7
I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:- Hitler is Alive!
- Hitler - the First man on the Moon!
- Hitler was maybe a Nazi!
- Hitler and the English Royal Family!
- Vladimir Putin is immortal! Perhaps Hitler is, too?
- Paris Hilton for President and the Hitler connection!
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRANKY OLD MAN
May the LORD seize your heart today, Brother Cranky, and bring those tired bones to rest in His loving Arms!
Birthday Blessings,
BrotherLarryProverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.Amen and AmenComment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRANKY OLD MAN
80 years and still not dead. This is starting to get annoying.5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
- Protect your family the Christian way! Get your daughter raped!
- Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
- Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."Comment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRANKY OLD MAN
May this cake ease your annoyance, Brother:
God created fossils to test our faith.
* * *
My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.Comment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRANKY OLD MAN
Have you ever considered a sky burial, when the inevitable occurs?
Very environmentally friendly!
Comment
-
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRANKY OLD MAN
Only 80? Seriously?Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
Well, sorta Happy Birthday, Brother.
Say, are you still driving and shooting? Not simultaneously that is, (there are limits to everyone's coordination); but can you still manage those specific activities?
If so, then at least there are pleasures still left to you on this earth. If you do plan to do either or both of those things, maybe you could give some advance notice to the Major so he canalertinform the police.His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy.gif "Gunsmilie(1)")
Comment
Comment