[WWJDnow]

Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis

Mr. Rutherford, I do not have a penis.

You do in Rutherford's dreams.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis

I only thought he wanted to impart his TC wisdom, that's what a True ChristianTM wants to do, right?

Isn't that what the last one said too?

[Martha Chump]

Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis

You do in Rutherford's dreams.

The most unassuming Negros do have wild imaginations, don't they! Just look at Bill Cosby.

[Des]

Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis

The most unassuming Negros do have wild imaginations, don't they! Just look at Bill Cosby.

Funny you should mention that. My new book should be hitting the shelves next week. I realized there were no critical race theory texts on the negro, so I took it upon myself to write Darkest Thoughts: Why Negroes Rape, Rob, & Riot. Look for it in True Christian bookstores everywhere.

[Basilissa]

Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis

If you have a tiny penis, you may as well be Adolf Hitler

I didn't expect to complete my Landover bingo card this early in the thread, but w/e. :shrugs:

You might think you're so smartly superior to our intellectually challenged guest here, Didymus, but it's people like Diesel who elected Trump in 2016 and will vote for him again now.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis

She married a yellow monkey, brother. Even a known predator has to be a step up.

It's true, I AM A PREDATOR! I am a sinner, and I have fallen short. I have missed the mark. I have allowed the lust within me to run wild like a ravenous beast.

My good friends in the Air National Guard are letting me hitch a ride to Des Moines International Airport in the morning. Can somebody come get me? I need to get to Freehold ASAP and submit myself to at least a Level 3 Rebuking Circle.

[Phil Ander]

Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis

It's true, I AM A PREDATOR! I am a sinner, and I have fallen short. I have missed the mark. I have allowed the lust within me to run wild like a ravenous beast.

My good friends in the Air National Guard are letting me hitch a ride to Des Moines International Airport in the morning. Can somebody come get me? I need to get to Freehold ASAP and submit myself to at least a Level 3 Rebuking Circle.

Thoughts and Prayers


Phil


PS have cast your vote already? If not, I'm sure that Mayor Johny can make sure that President Trump receives your vote through the Freehold ballot box during this difficult personal time.

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis

It's true, I AM A PREDATOR! I am a sinner, and I have fallen short. I have missed the mark. I have allowed the lust within me to run wild like a ravenous beast.

My good friends in the Air National Guard are letting me hitch a ride to Des Moines International Airport in the morning. Can somebody come get me? I need to get to Freehold ASAP and submit myself to at least a Level 3 Rebuking Circle.

I’d be willing to pick you up and drop you off at the city limits of Freehold. I can only drop you off at the city limits though as any time i try to get closer, these bullets fly at me out of nowhere as if God himself is angry at someone or something around me. Not much of a bother as it is more of an inconvenience. Also, I have to be back in time to vote in person at the polls come election time and watch to make sure everyone’s voting for Trump. I hope you understand my priorities.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis

I am a sinner, and I have fallen short. I have missed the mark. I have allowed the lust within me to run wild like a ravenous beast.

It's posts like this that make me sometimes wonder if it is always necessarily a sin to spill seed. Is there a legal defense, for example, in the case of a suitcase nuke and French Islamic terrorists? Picture the scene...

[Dana723]

Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis

Mr. Machine, have you tried posting pictures on the Internet to get advice? I would just bet if you did that, you'd get the answers you need!

[Martha Chump]

Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis

Dana, I'm so glad we are still focused on helping Mr. Machine and his poor penis. I've been up all night thinking about it, getting worked up; Peter's getting rather concerned. I feel however, as a woman, not yet Saved, there's little I can do at the moment.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis

Dana, I'm so glad we are still focused on helping Mr. Machine and his poor penis. I've been up all night thinking about it, getting worked up; Peter's getting rather concerned. I feel however, as a woman, not yet Saved, there's little I can do at the moment.

It's wonderful to see the concern for Mr. Machine even after he revealed himself to be a sexual predator only a few posts ago. That's a dedication only a female could muster. Sometimes I do think I understand the female brain but then I remember the Charles Manson family and NXIVIM cult were REAL THINGS THAT HAPPENED!!! Faithless savages.

[Martha Chump]

Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis

Who said he was sexual predator? It says spiritual predator in his signature. I assume that's someone who uses aggressive, even unorthodox methods to save souls at all cost?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis

Who said he was sexual predator? It says spiritual predator in his signature. I assume that's someone who uses aggressive, even unorthodox methods to save souls at all cost?

The clue for me was "I have allowed the lust within me to run wild like a ravenous beast".

[Faith_Machine]

Re: I need a Landover man to look at my penis

Mr. Machine, have you tried posting pictures on the Internet to get advice? I would just bet if you did that, you'd get the answers you need!

I've been taking close measurements along with the photographs. If my foreskin is growing back, I need to be able to document this fact.

It would not exactly be a miracle, but perhaps a reverse-miracle? Regardless, my foreskin would be incontrovertible proof of God's supernatural power. What atheist could fail to believe in the face of such evidence?