[James Hutchins]

Re: Policing Freehold

As always, Ofc. Richards, if you need the court room filled with character references, witnesses (we'll need to brief them forst) or what ever you need, you got it. I still owe you big time. It is Jesus's way of sharing the love.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

As always, Ofc. Richards, if you need the court room filled with character references, witnesses (we'll need to brief them forst) or what ever you need, you got it. I still owe you big time. It is Jesus's way of sharing the love.

I am very well-known in Freehold, but a few extra character references never hurt. You can always find a witness or two if you know just where to look. Will see you Monday.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

Well this day was almost a complete waste of everyone's time and energy. That kid found a pretty scummy lawyer to lie to an entire court that 1989 to 2010 is 21 years. (And how the judge LAUGHED at my poster board was unprofessional and insulting!)

If it hadn't been for the unlikely phone call from the Mayor of Freehold that took place after our recess I might have lost the case altogether!

Still, the only outcome is that this kid has to pay a fine. I was hoping for some more jail time, or community service. Who knew we had our own liberal activist judge right here in Freehold?

My blood pressure is still pounding from the whole thing.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Policing Freehold

1989 + 2010 = 19, duh.

(I already have these equations written out on a poster board in bright red ink for Monday.)...

...Well this day was almost a complete waste of everyone's time and energy. That kid found a pretty scummy lawyer to lie to an entire court that 1989 to 2010 is 21 years. (And how the judge LAUGHED at my poster board was unprofessional and insulting!)

If it hadn't been for the unlikely phone call from the Mayor of Freehold that took place after our recess I might have lost the case altogether!

This just proves what I've always said: public schools should be disbanded altogether. All that wacky "new math" is polluting the students' brains. And don't me started on all those other crazy liberal propaganda things they teach, like evolution and global warming. We could save billions of dollars in taxes if all public schools were closed.

Now some people talk about giving vouchers for private schools, but actually I don't think that's necessary, and indeed it would be an enormously expensive waste. For most Americans home schooling is the way to go. Of course, I know that lots of parents don't have time to teach their kids, but actually I don't think that's a problem either. Really, when you think about it, why do kids need a formal education?

Look, the vast majority of jobs in America today don't require you to read and write. Flipping burgers at McDonald's, coal mining, cleaning oil spills off of beaches, greeting people at Wal-Mart, selling drugs, prison guard, mercenary - all perfect examples of the great careers that await your children. Outside of learning to sign their names on credit card applications, your kids don't even need to know what an "alphabet" is, and in fact they can just use a thumb-print so they don't even need to know that.

Furthermore, I'd like to point out that some of the greatest leaders in world history - Genghis Khan, Attila-the-Hun, Ronald Reagan, George W Bush - were illiterate, but that didn't prevent them from doing wonderful things. For example, here's President Bush at a photo-op helping to rebuild New Orleans:


Heck of a job

I've heard liberals say that the public needs to be literate so that they can vote, but we've already proven in our staged Afghan-Iraqi elections that this is not necessary. Just put a picture of a candidate on the ballot, and people can mark an "X" next to it. Then we dab some purple ink on their thumbs to show they voted. All those years of studying just to learn how to read and write just so you can mark an "X" - what's the point? In fact, our research has shown that the more book learning people get, the more likely they are to vote for liberal candidates like Jimmy Carter - that just proves that education makes you stupider.


Democracy in action: "We don't need no education."

Of course, responsible citizens should be well-informed, so they'll understand who to vote for. Back in the old days before the 20th century, people had to become literate so they could read newspapers to understand what was going on. But these days, we've got AM talk radio, Fox News, and audio books by Ann Coulter, so reading is redundant. And as for studying the Bible, that problem is solved with both audio and video - you can get the whole King James Bible on mp3, or watch movies like Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ.

In short, public school education is one of those elitist, liberal schemes to make your kids into communists. Either give your kids home schooling, or better yet don't even bother and just put them to work in a garment factory where they can get on-the-job training (my company can help - we're training 8-year-old seamstresses in Bangladesh right now!). Sure, some people ought to go to school - mainly the off-spring of the wealthy, who attend private academies where they learn how to scam stocks and bonds - but most Americans should just understand that God intended them to work with their hands and allow the ruling CEO class to make all the big decisions.

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

Ossifer, my door is Always™ open and the Donuts are always warm

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 2, 2010

Apparently over Memorial Day weekend, somebody vandalized the grave of one of Freehold's only known (and now dead) gay persons.

He died before I moved here to Freehold, but apparently the young man was shot during an unfortunate indoor hunting accident while visiting another town. (I would of course argue that it was God's will.)

When dispatch sent an Officer to the scene, I was unfortunately in the bathroom and couldn't finish my business in time to stop Officer Borders from taking the call! (I keep the radio on me at all times.)

It's just like that bleeding-heart liberal to volunteer for something like this. Well you better believe I finished up as quickly as possible and followed him to the cemetery.

When we both arrived he put on a very unexpected display of assertiveness.

"Get lost, Richards, I know what you're doing here."

Well, I don't take lip off nobody, so I got up real close to his face and said,

"Oh yeah?"

He didn't back down, and that really made me mad, because usually when I puff out my chest he listens.

"I know you're a Christian and whatever and you think he deserved to be shot, but going to rub salt in his family's freshly opened wound isn't going to prove a damned thing." This guy just knows NOTHING about what Christianity is really about.

He turned and walked away. I was stunned this little weasel had the fortitude speak to an actual man like that.

I followed closely on his heels.

We arrived in the south end of the cemetery. (Where all the trash is buried.)

The family was gathered together in a small huddle near the head stone, which had the word "FAGGIT" painted across it in neon-green and a rather obscene (yet strangely amusing) penis and testicles dangling above the last name.

A man, the deviant's father, stepped forward. He explained that the family gets together once-a-year on Memorial Day to decorate various family graves, and of course visit their homo son's girly remains.

The mother, in wavering tones, said, "We figured something like this would happen sooner or later, and now it has."

"Not as bad as what's happening to him right now in hell" I said under my breath.

Borders gave me a quick glare and then proceeded.

"Has your family made any enemies recently?"

"No" was the blunt reply.

"I can think of one up in Heaven they made when they let their son become a homosexual." I said.

At this point the waterworks started up and mommy dearest started crying.

"I honestly thought Iowa was moving past some of this" said the father angrily. Apparently they all want to go to hell and be with their kid.

"You can't move past God, he's everywhere." I said.

They had a younger boy with them, it was likely a little brother.

"You know," I said, "it must be rough to lose a kid like that, but if you think about it, you actually SAVED a kid by not having a perverted older influence around to recruit his little brother to the same perverted life style."

At this point Mr. Borders was really putting on a show of bravado and told me he could "handle it from there." This would be funny.

Borders proceeded with the report. I quoted the Bible in his ear as he did, reminding him what God says about those who support gays.

He promised a "swift investigation."

I didn't understand it. The investigation was already closed before it started, and God was the Judge, Jury and Executioner.

I talked to him about that later and he insisted that trials be "tangible and public" and everybody have a right to confront their accusers before a sentence is passed. I am actually starting to believe there is no hope for Borders ever becoming a Christian.

Oh well, I gave some Chick Tracts to the family, so maybe they'll come around at least.

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

"At this point Mr. Borders was really putting on a show of bravado

I'll just bet he was!

Sadly, the apple never seems to fall very far from the tree, does it?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Policing Freehold

The things an Officier or the Law has to put up with. Amazing.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Policing Freehold

Ofc. Don, yesterday while driving in the downtown shopping district a fellow motorist informed me that I had a low tire. I turned off Main street on to 3rd av. I got out and sure enough my rear tire was almost flat. I remember seeing that a new tire sales business just opened last week and it was just up a few blocks. My car made it the 3 blocks to Pedro's Tire shop. Pedro came right out and looked at my Porch 911, I had ran over a nail. He said that he could fix or replace the tire, I went with replacement. While I was waiting he offered me a seat and a cold beverage. Upon taking my seat another messican offered me a hair cut and manicure. Now this really confused me until I looked closely at the sign on the door, Pedro's tire sales and hair salon. I figured thats not a bad idea, kill two birds with one stone. I asked the barber to trim my hair and beard, he asked if I would like a magazine to read while the towel was being warmed. Ofc. Don the fellow gave me a copy of Gay life. Above the desk was a flag, not the messican flag , it was a rainbow homersexural flag. I thought we had a city ordinance that did not allow Homersexurals with in city limits? I urge all my fellow True Christians stay far away from Pedro's tire sales and Hair salon. It is ran and staffed by Homersexurals. Mayor JJ Hold what are you going to do about this. I took a picture of the flag, It is just plain disgusting.

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: Policing Freehold

James that was a truly terrifying account of what can go on right under your very eyes if you are not looking for it. There needs to be a crackdown on this homersexural activity, so it can be stamped out or pushed back to where it came from (probably Sweden or messico).

In the future I would be wary of ANY man that works in a Salon (if it's a barbers shop, it's a salon), or any other job which requires finesse and other feminine beauty practices because these demoniac professions are often prone to an infestation by the type of man who is interested in touching more than just your hair.

Praise Jesus this is stopped in Freehold. Even if in my diabolical land it never will be.

[Master Gordon]

Re: Policing Freehold

James that was a truly terrifying account of what can go on right under your very eyes if you are not looking for it. There needs to be a crackdown on this homersexural activity, so it can be stamped out or pushed back to where it came from (probably Sweden or messico).

In the future I would be wary of ANY man that works in a Salon (if it's a barbers shop, it's a salon), or any other job which requires finesse and other feminine beauty practices because these demoniac professions are often prone to an infestation by the type of man who is interested in touching more than just your hair.

Praise Jesus this is stopped in Freehold. Even if in my diabolical land it never will be.

Agreed Brother WinnerNotSinner the Bible is very clear on the matters of sodomites... Genesis 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

[Dirk]

Re: Policing Freehold

James that was a truly terrifying account of what can go on right under your very eyes if you are not looking for it. There needs to be a crackdown on this homersexural activity, so it can be stamped out or pushed back to where it came from (probably Sweden or messico).

In the future I would be wary of ANY man that works in a Salon (if it's a barbers shop, it's a salon), or any other job which requires finesse and other feminine beauty practices because these demoniac professions are often prone to an infestation by the type of man who is interested in touching more than just your hair.

Praise Jesus this is stopped in Freehold. Even if in my diabolical land it never will be.

You took the words out of my mouth.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Policing Freehold

James that was a truly terrifying account of what can go on right under your very eyes if you are not looking for it. There needs to be a crackdown on this homersexural activity, so it can be stamped out or pushed back to where it came from (probably Sweden or messico).

In the future I would be wary of ANY man that works in a Salon (if it's a barbers shop, it's a salon), or any other job which requires finesse and other feminine beauty practices because these demoniac professions are often prone to an infestation by the type of man who is interested in touching more than just your hair.

Praise Jesus this is stopped in Freehold. Even if in my diabolical land it never will be.

I have a feeling that when the FPD gets a hold of this report, swift action will be taken. I just received word form the DoF that Pedro is an illegal messican.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

This is an outright travesty! That it could happen right here in Freehold, right under our noses!

Not only is the FPD going to take swift action, but yours truly will be the one to do it. We are going to whip this town into shape, just you wait and see.

It is not technically illegal for homosexuals to BE in the city limits, but we have regulations about flaunting it like this. (If homos keep to themselves and live in the closet, there isn't much we can do.)

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Policing Freehold

This is an outright travesty! That it could happen right here in Freehold, right under our noses!

Not only is the FPD going to take swift action, but yours truly will be the one to do it. We are going to whip this town into shape, just you wait and see.

It is not technically illegal for homosexuals to BE in the city limits, but we have regulations about flaunting it like this. (If homos keep to themselves and live in the closet, there isn't much we can do.)

If the military were to have to change their don't ask policy to the Osama Yomomma Obama plan of you're gay, that's ok! will you be forced to amend yours?