[Christiansoldier]

Re: Policing Freehold

The more reports I read from this fine officer the more I want to move to Freehold. Tell me, is this all true what he says?

[Bob4God]

Re: Policing Freehold

The more reports I read from this fine officer the more I want to move to Freehold. Tell me, is this all true what he says?

Of course it's true. I know Ofc. Don personally and he is a good Christian man. Lying is against the Bible, and he would never do anything against the Bible.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Policing Freehold

Rev. Jim: I didn't know these girls were students of yours. Consider the traffic ticket void. To help prevent things like this in the future, I would appreciate it if you would let me know whenever young women are going to be over at your place. Some of them can be rowdy and you might need an Officer of the Law to cuff them if they get out of hand.

Oh don't worry about it, Officer Don. It's a honest mistake! I know we have each other's cell phone numbers, but I'd hate to bug you constantly whenever I have young girls over at my place. I'm sure you have more important things to do around Freehold like busting Mexicans for loitering by walking down the street or ticketing jaywalkers who walk on the crosswalk lines instead of between them without me calling you up every 20 minutes letting you know there's a young nubile college girl over at my place.

But, since my wife is out of town till the end of August, expect to see several carloads of young ladies around Freehold. If you pull them over and they say "Oh we know Rev. Jim" you know they're okay and can let them go.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

Monday, August 10, 2009

Took a call from dispatch saying that a crying little girl had phoned them and wouldn't say anything but "I'm in trouble, please help me."

Arrived at the scene down at the Trinity Trailers Mobile Home community. Of course I can't give out any details, but apparently the father in trailer 19 was beating his daughter because she had gotten hold of some of those "Bratz" dolls and was turning into a seven year-old harlot.

Turns out the dad is a good old fundamentalist Baptist Bible salesmen who is just trying to do the right thing. I told him he had done nothing wrong by eye-gouging and choking his daughter. I then took the little girl on my knee and explained why she was being punished and that the Ten Commandments tell us to honor our parents.

Over and out.

[VictoryOS]

Re: Policing Freehold

I then took the little girl on my knee and explained why she was being punished and that the Ten Commandments tell us to honor our parents.

Dear, someday you will be such a fine father to our own little Warriors For Christ!

[SUV]

Re: Policing Freehold

Dear, someday you will be such a fine father to our own little Warriors For Christ!

My, my, Sister Victory, you know there is nothing little SUV loves better than a True Christian love story!

Much like the time He trudged up His Hill wearing His Diaper carrying His Cross, etc., to Die for the sins of the un$avED.
But what do you know, I think I just saw a few more of them in the "convenience" "store"

You don't think He'll have to go through all of that again, do you?

So perhaps your Husband and his Team can begin Policing those places. I'd start by getting the Lottery Tickets away from above the counter, where just any vile sinner can snatch them all up! And get those condiments away from that area, too, before the Children can see them and say Mommy, can we please get that pack of balloons?

Won't anyone please, PLEASE, think of the Children? I Fear that RA9 is imminent

Christ in a Cruller,

SUV

[Christiansoldier]

Re: Policing Freehold

The liebrals might have taken over our military, courts, families, schools, and government, but they shall never take over our fine police!

Props to you officer, wish there were cops as good as you in Virginia. This satanic state turned blue and now all the cops are pansies.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Policing Freehold

I, for one, feel a whole lot safer knowing that there are brave men out there like Officer Don patroling the mean streets of Freehold. Men like Officer Don don't play by the restrictive rules of the LIEberal activist judges, they go by the book-- The Good Book (KJV 1611)!!!

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

Monday, August 10, 2009

Took a call from dispatch saying that a crying little girl had phoned them and wouldn't say anything but "I'm in trouble, please help me."

Arrived at the scene down at the Trinity Trailers Mobile Home community. Of course I can't give out any details, but apparently the father in trailer 19 was beating his daughter because she had gotten hold of some of those "Bratz" dolls and was turning into a seven year-old harlot.

Turns out the dad is a good old fundamentalist Baptist Bible salesmen who is just trying to do the right thing. I told him he had done nothing wrong by eye-gouging and choking his daughter. I then took the little girl on my knee and explained why she was being punished and that the Ten Commandments tell us to honor our parents.

Over and out.

Great work, Officer Don. I'm so tired of these liberal pansies who think that spanking and flogging of children is a crime. My dad used to use a cattle prod to sodomize me whenever I misbehaved, but look how well-adjusted and normal I've turned out. We don't need a liberal nanny state telling us how to raise our Christian kids. As they say, spare the taser and spoil the child.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Policing Freehold

SATURDAY, AUGUST 15, 2009

Saw two kids sitting in the shade on the steps of the First Bank of Freehold. It was obvious to me what was going on: These two nine-year olds were casing the bank, just waiting for an opportunity to break in, steal the cash and make a quick getaway on their ten-speed bikes.

I approached them both and questioned them. Neither one of them had any form of identification, so I arrested them. They figured out pretty quick that crying doesn't work on Officer Don.

Down at the station I called their parents and listened to the usual bleeding-heart complaints about how "they're only nine years old! They're innocent!"

Yeah, right.

They were released on the promise that they would come to church today. I didn't see them.

Over and out.

[Christiansoldier]

Re: Policing Freehold

SATURDAY, AUGUST 15, 2009

Saw two kids sitting in the shade on the steps of the First Bank of Freehold. It was obvious to me what was going on: These two nine-year olds were casing the bank, just waiting for an opportunity to break in, steal the cash and make a quick getaway on their ten-speed bikes.

I approached them both and questioned them. Neither one of them had any form of identification, so I arrested them. They figured out pretty quick that crying doesn't work on Officer Don.

Down at the station I called their parents and listened to the usual bleeding-heart complaints about how "they're only nine years old! They're innocent!"

Yeah, right.

They were released on the promise that they would come to church today. I didn't see them.

Over and out.

You should've checked their bobies for explosive. Lord knows that may be influenced by the libertard media to join the Taliban and suicide bomb Freehold!

Other than that, good job! Wish I had more police officers like you around here. Good thing I'm moving soon !

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Policing Freehold

You're doing great work, Officer. If you lived in Britain, the socialist Big Government would almost certainly have forced you to become a woman by now. I wish I was joking, but I'm not. And do you know who pays for the operations to turn normal policemen into abominations? That's right, socialised healthcare.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Policing Freehold

Officer Don, just to let you know, I think we may have a poisoner loose in town. Earlier today, right after my Sunday sermon and services here at Landover Baptist, I was running late for my golf game with Bob Fore. Actually, it's funny playing golf with Bob, because everytime I yell "FORE!!!" He turns to me and goes "What?".

Anyways, I was a bit hungry and couldn't stay for the breakfast buffet we always have after church, so I stopped into the 7-11 on Revelations Road and bought me a six-pack of chocolate Hostess Donuts. I scarfed them down and set out to play my game of golf.

However, once Bob and I reached the 4th hole, I started feeling painful intestinal cramps. I knew what that meant. Bob looked at my grimacing face and asked "Are you okay, Rev. Jim?". I couldn't answer. I jumped into the golf cart and put the pedal to the metal. I barely made it to the clubhouse bathrooms. I was really gopher-holing it.

Needless to say, my golf game was pretty much ruined. After every two holes, it was another desperate high-speed rally back to the clubhouse in my golf cart. After the game, I looked at the donut wrapper in my car. It expired a week ago! No doubt that Sanjay who runs the 7-11 knew this and was intentionally trying to poison innocent Freehold residents. For what gain? Perhaps to sell more Immodium AD or Pepto-Bismol. Maybe it was racially motivated. But I think you should do an investigation on Sanjay because it may not be long before he moves from expired donuts to injecting strychnine into the chili dogs!

YIC,
Rev. Jim

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Policing Freehold

...No doubt that Sanjay who runs the 7-11...

Sanjay, huh? That sounds like a Muslim name. This could be Freehold's 9/11!

Officer Don, this is no time to pussyfoot around. Time to go to Terror Alert Level Red!

Onward Christian soldiers!

Praise Jesus,
Brother Buford

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Policing Freehold

Yea, he claims to be a so-called "Sikh", but that's probably just some variety of Islam like Shiite or Sunni. Whenever I'm at the counter, I always listen closely to see if I can hear the ticking of a bomb hidden inside his turban. He really has me worried.