True Christians™ demand destruction of British Satanic objects

[Larry Lee]

Brothers and Sistern, by now you've all heard about the ghastly cache of ancient Satanic objects that was recently discovered in a farmer's field in Britain. The find is an appalling reminder that the British have retained their love of Satan across the millennia.

For those True Christians™ who are late in catching up with this latest horror from the far side of the Atlantic, you can go here to view the hideous paraphernalia and symbology of historic Britisher Devil worship. I'll warn you though, that the explicit depictions of fetishitic artifacts from the Dark Ages are inappropriate for viewing by minors and by all Goths.

True Christians™ are adamant in demanding that this newly discovered junk be destroyed completely – even before one more provocative photo of it reaches the public, which is sorely unprepared to handle the dark impulses that viewing these objects will engender in so many.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: True Christians™ demand destruction of British Satanic object

I wish we had had our hands on those things back in June. Oh, well, maybe we can start buying some of them up for next year's event.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: True Christians™ demand destruction of British Satanic object

Image 6 is particularly offensive to me, it is a Cross that has been mangled up by the powers of Darkness.

There is also something that looks like an ancient necktie-grip, or one of them clips for dollar bills, with a mess of a Latin quotation from Numbers 10:35b: SURGE DNE DISEPENTUR INIMICI TUI ET FUGENT QUI ODERUNT TE A FACIE TUA ("Surge Domine et dissipentur inimici tui et fugiant qui oderunt te a facie tua"), which is: " Rise up, LORD, and let thine enemies be scattered; and let them that hate thee flee before thee."

Now that looks as if (a) Catlix were about terrorizing the countryside, hence the Latin, and (b) you will note that “Lord” is written as “DNE,” whoever wrote that could not write “Lord”. We know that the Devil knows scripture but cannot quote it accurately – there is devilry from Rome here.

I hope one of the Pastors will use their influence and have these artifacts of the devil brought to Landover so that the evil they bear can be eradicated by Godly prayer. This could take decades.



(The damn Brits won't be able to look after them and they'll probably end up sending them to Libya for some oil deal.)

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: True Christians™ demand destruction of British Satanic object

You can find identical twins to all of these items can be found in head shops and sex parlors across America today. If you don't believe me I will bring examples to Church next Sunday. As to why this is was buried is clear; this was some Medieval sodomite who wanted to hide his sins from the world. Most likely his Christian neighbors became aware of the threat he posed to his society and administered some proper Christian Tough Love® on him so he would sin no more.

Now the depraved sissies of England want to parade this collection of degenerate paraphernalia around the world and doubtless lure more young men in sexual madness.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: True Christians™ demand destruction of British Satanic object

I'm pleased to announce that my congregation has volunteered to accept these demonic items. One of our members is a jewelry-maker, who has agreed to transform them into gleaming new "Liberty from Sin" coins, each the size of a dime and made of solid 28K gold.

Each head of household of the church will get four coins. The remainder will be retained by the church.

Inflation? HA!