[ChristianBeliever]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do you call a group of Mexicans running down a hill?
A jailbreak.
What do you call two Mexicans fighting?
Juan-on-Juan

[A Follower]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A muslim, an atheist, an illegal immigrant and a communist walk into a bar.



The bartender asks: "What can I get you Mr. President?"

[Zechariah Smyth]

Why do you always take two Baptists hunting with you?

If you take one, he drinks all your beer. If you take two, they don't drink any

In order for a joke to be funny, the premise has to be believable. I simply can't see any chance of going hunting with someone who doesn't believe in Jesus, so that makes the whole joke fall flat.
Posted via Mobile Device

[JWforever]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Why do you always take two Baptists hunting with you?

If you take one, he drinks all your beer. If you take two, they don't drink any

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

not at all, religious officials Catholics are famous for touching little boys

Fixed.

[diablo666]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

That surprises you?

not at all, religious officials are famous for touching little boys

[Alphonse Alban]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

The Bible.

DAMN THAT WAS FUNNY!

Yes, bible is also about laughter and joy.

Psalm 2:4-5 He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the LORD shall have them in derision. Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure.

I can't wait to laugh with Jesus at sinners in hell.

[pervertforlife]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

I have a joke I have a joke!

The Bible.

DAMN THAT WAS FUNNY!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. if I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's!

[VictoryOS]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

This is not a clean joke. The point of the joke is that priest #1 molests children.

It's funny because it's true!

[Sister Kitty]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

This is not a clean joke. The point of the joke is that priest #1 molests children.

That surprises you?

[diablo666]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Priest #1: What's the best thing about twenty three year olds?

Priest #2: I don't know...what?

Priest #1: There's twenty of 'em.
Posted via Mobile Device

This is not a clean joke. The point of the joke is that priest #1 molests children.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Priest #1: What's the best thing about twenty three year olds?

Priest #2: I don't know...what?

Priest #1: There's twenty of 'em.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.

They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful
in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.

The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to
see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a
deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting
there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open..

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where
is God?!" Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE is GOD?!"

The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG
trouble this time!"
"GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!"

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What's black and shiny and looks great on a Muslim?









A bodybag.