[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

.

[Born Again Bob]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Clop-clop-clop-clop-BANG!-BANG!-clop-clop

?
?
?
?

Amish drive-by shooting

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do they call an animal euthanizing center that puts cats to sleep?

Meowschwitz

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

DUCKS IN HEAVEN !

Three women die together in an accident

And go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says,

'We only have one rule here in heaven:

Don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough,

There are ducks all over the place.

It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,

And although they try their best to avoid them,

The first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says,

'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to

Spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day,

The second woman steps accidentally on a duck

And along comes St. Peter,

Who doesn't miss a thing.

With him is another extremely ugly man.

He chains them together

With the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and,

Not wanting to be chained

For all eternity to an ugly man, is very,

VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months

Without stepping on any ducks,

then

One day St.Peter comes up to her

With the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on

.... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular. (like Pastor Zeke )

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says,

'I wonder what I did to deserve being

Chained to you for all of eternity?'

The guy says,

'I don't know about you,

But I stepped on a
Duck. '

[Godfly]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What you talkin bout Willis?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

[Titus Templeton]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

This one is selfmade:

An atheist walks threw the woods and steps into a bear trap. Hours later a monkey walks to him. "Hey monkey help me!" the atheist
says." I help only my own species!" the monkey answered. "I am we have the same ancestor!" the atheist screams. The monkey walks away and says:" I hate deluded fanatics."

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What's the difference between a Barnum & Bailey three ring circus and a Miss America beauty pagent? The circus has a cunning display of stunts.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the monkey was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's The Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?
"Well," said the monkey, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The doctor remarked, 'Well, in the Bible it says that God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam. This clearly required surgery, so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world.'
The civil engineer interrupted and said, 'But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong; mine is the oldest profession in the world.'
The computer scientist leaned back in his chair, smiled and said confidently, 'Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?'

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

So a Catholick dies and walks through the pearly gates and into heaven...
There's more to the joke, but I thought that was the funnies part.

Here's a hint for future attempts at humor:

A joke is more likely to be found humorous if the situation is within the realm of possibility. Purely fictional and impossible situations, like a Catholic entering Heaven, are difficult for an audience to relate to, and such jokes will likely fall flat.

[Go_Away_Sinners!]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

So a Catholick dies and walks through the pearly gates and into heaven...
There's more to the joke, but I thought that was the funnies part.

[Titus Templeton]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. You may be a Muslim
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
You may be a Muslim
3. You have more wives than teeth. You may be a Muslim
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean. You may be a Muslim
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Q: Whats the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?

A: Acne doesn't come on a boys face till he reaches puberty.

Catholicjism

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Q: Whats the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?

A: Acne doesn't come on a boys face till he reaches puberty.