[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

So Robin Williams walks into heaven......

and says:
"Robin, tell me one funny joke and I'll let you into Heaven."

Robin replies:
"Sure, ok. One day I was really depressed and waited for to answer my prayers, what do you think happened?"

responds:
"Hmmm, I don't know."

Robin says:
"He left me hanging!"

:
"Hahahaha, welcome to Heaven my son."

[Phalanx]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Abdul Hajiakmar, a savage jihadist kills himself while blowing up a school as a human bomb.

He arrives at the pearly gates and is greeted by St. Peter. Abdul asks Peter if he can enter and meet Allah.

St. Peter point to a huge palace of gold and told him that that is where Allah lives. Abdul enters the castle and asks if he may meet Allah. The receptionist tells him to go up the majestic stairway on the other side of the room.

Abdul goes up the stairs and arrives at a beautiful suite of rooms. There in the center of the suite is a man sitting on a throne surrounded by faithful followers. Abdul approaches and asks if he is Allah. The man on the throne said no, I am Buddha, Allah lives upstairs.

Abdul climbs another set of stairs and enters a more beautiful suite than the one below. Sitting on a throne is a man. Abdul asks if he is Allah and the man replies no, I am Zeus, Allah lives upstairs.

Abdul goes up another flight of stairs and enters an even greater suite with angels and people worshiping a man on a throne. The man approaches the throne and asks if it is Allah. No my son said the man on the throne, my name is Jesus. Allah lives up stairs.

As Abdul climbs the next flight of stairs, he is besides himself with the knowledge that Allah is higher than even Jesus. At the to, he enters the most beautiful and ornate suite imaginable. Sitting on a throne was a man dressed in flowing white robes. Abdul asks if he is Allah. The man replies no, I am God, Lord of all True Christians.

At this point Abdul is beside himself, this must mean that Allah is above even the Christian God.

God looks at Abdul and says you must be thirsty from climbing all of those stairs. Abdul admits that he is and asks if he may have some tea. God says of course you may and I will join you.

God claps his hand twice and yells to the back of the suite "Allah, bring us two cup of tea and make it snappy"

[Scott Richards]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Abdul Hajiakmar, a savage jihadist kills himself while blowing up a school as a human bomb.

He arrives at the pearly gates and is greeted by St. Peter. Abdul asks Peter if he can enter and meet Allah.

St. Peter point to a huge palace of gold and told him that that is where Allah lives. Abdul enters the castle and asks if he may meet Allah. The receptionist tells him to go up the majestic stairway on the other side of the room.

Abdul goes up the stairs and arrives at a beautiful suite of rooms. There in the center of the suite is a man sitting on a throne surrounded by faithful followers. Abdul approaches and asks if he is Allah. The man on the throne said no, I am Buddha, Allah lives upstairs.

Abdul climbs another set of stairs and enters a more beautiful suite than the one below. Sitting on a throne is a man. Abdul asks if he is Allah and the man replies no, I am Zeus, Allah lives upstairs.

Abdul goes up another flight of stairs and enters an even greater suite with angels and people worshiping a man on a throne. The man approaches the throne and asks if it is Allah. No my son said the man on the throne, my name is Jesus. Allah lives up stairs.

As Abdul climbs the next flight of stairs, he is besides himself with the knowledge that Allah is higher than even Jesus. At the to, he enters the most beautiful and ornate suite imaginable. Sitting on a throne was a man dressed in flowing white robes. Abdul asks if he is Allah. The man replies no, I am God, Lord of all True Christians.

At this point Abdul is beside himself, this must mean that Allah is above even the Christian God.

God looks at Abdul and says you must be thirsty from climbing all of those stairs. Abdul admits that he is and asks if he may have some tea. God says of course you may and I will join you.

God claps his hand twice and yells to the back of the suite "Allah, bring us two cup of tea and make it snappy"

May I ask why the Muslim Hitler is in heaven at all? Pathetic joke.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

How can you spot the irishman in a convalescent home?

He's the one blowing the foam off the bedpans!

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Q: Do you know why Jehovah's Witnesses hate Halloween.

A: Because they do not like strangers knocking on their door.

Thank you.

Rusty

[Phalanx]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

May I ask why the Muslim Hitler is in heaven at all? Pathetic joke.

I didn't write it. I just posted it.

Where's your brilliant comedic alternative?

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Hello Landover Baptist Church.

Q: What do you call people who immigrate to Sweden.

A: Artificial Swedeners.

Thank you.

Rusty

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Brother Rusty, while that's funny, I would call them Retards. Who would want to live in Godless Sweden?

[Holy Henry]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do you say to a Negro in Uniform?


Big Mac and fries please

[A Follower]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

President Obama went to the bank to cash a check but he didn't have his ID on him. So the teller says "You've got to prove who you are."

He asked, "How should I do that?" She told him, "The other day Phil Mickelson came in, he didn't have his ID but he set up a little cup on the ground, took a golf ball, putted it right into that cup so they knew it was Phil Mickelson. They cashed his check."

"Then Andre Agassi came in," she continued, "And Andre Agassi didn't have his ID either. He put a little target on the wall, took a tennis ball and racquet — hit it onto that target. We knew that was Andre Agassi so we cashed his check."

She asked, "Is there anything you can do to prove who you are?"
Obama replied, "I don't have a clue."

And she said, "Well, Mr. President, do you want your money in small bills or large bills?"

[arthur frayn]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do you say to a negroe in a three piece suit?

"Will the defendent please rise".


Whats black and brown and looks good on a negroe?

A doberman pincher.

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Q: Why do Jewish men get circumcised.

A: Because Jewish women will not touch anything that is not at least 20% off.

Thank you.

Rusty

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

P.S. I am sorry for using potty language there was no way around it.

[Basilissa]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Q: Why aren't there any runners from Detroit in the Olympics?
A: Because the Detroit police shoots at and kills every black man running.

[Nobar King]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

hese guys are doing it very right…