How can I catch an Angel?

[Knight of knowing]

I am having difficulties... I keep getting close (I have got a few feathers).

I want to know if I am using the wrong bait or traps...

The baits I have used are as follows: -

• Cheese
• Bacon
• Womens underwear
• A copy of playboy

I am using a man sized mousetrap...

This doesnt seem to be working... what would you suggest?

I desperately want one as a pet, how cool would that be!

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: How can I catch an Angel?

Are you a homersexural?

Everyone knows that angels are usually male: Gabriel and Michael for example.

Daniel 10:13 and 12:1 are references for Michael and Luke 1:26-28 for Gabriel.

Psalms 91:11, Matthew 18:10 and Acts 12:15 for other MALE angel references.

I doubt very much you would have any chance of catching one, as a pet or for any other reason, because God ONLY sends angels to those WORTHY, and you certainly fall short of God's love.

IF you read the KJV1611, you would know this!

YIC

Mrs. Phebe Dewitt.

[Knight of knowing]

Re: How can I catch an Angel?

Are you a homersexural?

In response to you, I am not a homosexual (Spell it right) I can prove it too if you like

But seriously, can you help?

How about if I trick god into sending me one... what trick would work?

[Knights_ISS]

Re: How can I catch an Angel?

@ Knight of knowing - I would suggest using a bacon cheese burger. Its the bread your missing!

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: How can I catch an Angel?

@ Knight of Ignorant Buffoonery

Please don't make any more jokes. You are hurting us.

[Knight of knowing]

Re: How can I catch an Angel?

@ Knight of Ignorant Buffoonery

Please don't make any more jokes. You are hurting us.

Billy Bob, Are my posts really hurting you?

I'm sorry... I cant help it, having read the posts of you and your fellow TrueSatanists who advocate hate towards anyone who is not white, american and straight.
In your eyes a rapist is the victim and its ok to beat your wife and children.

God may exist and if it (He/she or whatever) could see the way you are I am sure you would have the bitchslap of a life time waiting for you when you die.

Do you not think that everyone was created equal?

We are all on this planet for such a small amount of time, wouldnt it be better for everyone to just get along?

KJV version of the bible is one of many. The bible wasn't written in English or American (I add that because you believe American is a language), it was translated from hebrew and was originally part of the Qur'an.

Plus you base all of your beliefs in an interpretation of somebody elses interpretation of a book written by many people.

Just because it says it in the KJV doesnt make it fact...

Come on people, be human... if you are a good person if there is a heaven you will be going!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: How can I catch an Angel?

Come on people, be human... if you are a good person if there is a heaven you will be going!

Wrong again, hatemonger. God is very clear on this subject. Being a "nice guy" isn't going to get you into Heaven. That's just false Christian blasphemy.

Please read my sermon on the subject HERE.

I'm Praying that Jesus shakes those demons out of you.

[John Creeser]

Re: How can I catch an Angel?

Dear Knight of Blowing,

You don't know it, but you *are* on the right path to catching an angel, a fallen angel who is going to make you a star in one of hells porn movies, it'll probably be titled "Anal Rampage".

Have fun

[CyberYahweh]

Re: How can I catch an Angel?

@Knight of Fornication.

I challenge you to find any sermon or assertion made on this by our good pastors and parishioners, that isn't backed by 1611 Bible Scripture, or supplemented directly/extrapolated from the true context of the 1611 K.J. We're right by God, as it EXPLICITLY says in his Holy Book.

You ought strike this arrogant, slanderous, sodomite beast from your heart. It is very disgusting. In your time here, I suggest that you open your heart to GOD, and try to LEARN something about True Christianity.

Proverbs 24:3-4
"Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: and by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches."

And if you will not cease your serpentine tongue -

Proverbs 17:28
"Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding."

Have some humility, you wretched-tongued young man - and read the Bible, for Pete's sake.

[David Micheal]

Re: How can I catch an Angel?

I am having difficulties... I keep getting close (I have got a few feathers).

I want to know if I am using the wrong bait or traps...

The baits I have used are as follows: -

• Cheese
• Bacon
• Womens underwear
• A copy of playboy

I am using a man sized mousetrap...

This doesnt seem to be working... what would you suggest?

I desperately want one as a pet, how cool would that be!

First off, you have no chance at seeing an angel in your current circumstances, you are a homosexual pervert.

[Brother Helge]

Re: How can I catch an Angel?

Do you not think that everyone was created equal?

Nope. Some are slim, some are fat. Some are white, some are black. Some are smart and some are stupid. Does that sound equal to you?

We are all on this planet for such a small amount of time, wouldnt it be better for everyone to just get along?

No, it would be better if everyone got straight with Jesus.

KJV version of the bible is one of many. The bible wasn't written in English or American (I add that because you believe American is a language), it was translated from hebrew and was originally part of the Qur'an.

Part of the Qur'an? Do you perheps refer to the Torah?
Is this a result of public schools?

Plus you base all of your beliefs in an interpretation of somebody elses interpretation of a book written by many people..

We don't interpret at all. Have you learn nothing on this fora?

Just because it says it in the KJV doesnt make it fact...

On the contrary. God's word are fact. Do you suggest that God is a liar?

Come on people, be human... if you are a good person if there is a heaven you will be going!

We are humans, but being "good" takes you nowhere.
Only Jesus can save you.

Why do you hate him? He gave his life for you and you piss in his face.