I'm afraid something might be missing from Freehold.

[Faith_Machine]

Friends, please correct me if I'm wrong, but in all my research on the Internet, I can find no indication that Freehold has a nuclear power facility. I'm hoping Freehold is just keeping quiet about this because it would be prime target for terrorists, but still...

I just think Freehold needs to be way out in front when it comes to energy independence, and set an example for the rest of the country.

I think the Bible is very clear about the need for setting a good example:

1 Peter 5:2

2Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind;

1 Timothy 4:12

12Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

If Freehold doesn't have a nuclear plant, are there any plans to put one in?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I'm afraid something might be missing from Freehold.

Of course we have a nuclear facility. It's just that, like all things in Freehold, we like our privacy.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: I'm afraid something might be missing from Freehold.

OK, I'm glad to hear that. We've got one over in San Luis Obispo. That's four hours from where I live, but I was thinking about putting in a job application and relocating. I'd have to give up my San Francisco street preaching, though.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: I'm afraid something might be missing from Freehold.

Friends, please correct me if I'm wrong, but in all my research on the Internet, I can find no indication that Freehold has a nuclear power facility. I'm hoping Freehold is just keeping quiet about this because it would be prime target for terrorists, but still...

I just think Freehold needs to be way out in front when it comes to energy independence, and set an example for the rest of the country.

I think the Bible is very clear about the need for setting a good example:





If Freehold doesn't have a nuclear plant, are there any plans to put one in?

First things first, Brother Faith. There are still Godless, pollution spewing, atheistic, ithyphallic trees all over Freehold, which I am single handedly removing. Since trees do not believe in God, and represent fertility and the penis, they cannot be in Freehold. Right now, we should be petitioning Mayor Hold to assist me in removing these woody infidels from the landscape. THEN we should ask him for a second nuclear power plant.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: I'm afraid something might be missing from Freehold.

First things first, Brother Faith. There are still Godless, pollution spewing, atheistic, ithyphallic trees all over Freehold, which I am single handedly removing. Right now, we should be petitioning Mayor Hold to assist me in removing these woody infidels from the landscape. THEN we should ask him for a second nuclear power plant.

I'm always encouraged by citizens who want to make Freehold better. I was hoping to accomodate both those in Freehold who love our trees, and, Brother Billy Bob who wants them all removed.

My way of accomplishing this was to remove the pesky song birds from Freehold. I thought this was the major problem some had with our trees. You can read about my work on this project:

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=42275&highlight=birds

Now, we have a good group of citizens wanting the trees removed for moral reasons. This is an even more serious problem.

I am trying to figure out a way to accomodate all parties in this matter.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: I'm afraid something might be missing from Freehold.

I wish I could say something in favor of trees, but it's been my experience that they pretty much just stand around mocking God and trying to undermine my faith.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: I'm afraid something might be missing from Freehold.

I wish I could say something in favor of trees, but it's been my experience that they pretty much just stand around mocking God and trying to undermine my faith.

You're not far off base there Brother Faith Machine, which is why a lot of people cut them down and burn them in fire places to keep warm in the winter – at least the trees wind up doing something useful.

The other problem with trees is that they reproduce by masturbating. It turns out that there are "male" and "female" trees, and since they can't move around and go into some corner and take care of their business unobserved the "male" trees send their seed spewing forth in the air in hopes it will reach a "female" somewhere. Not only does this make an obscene mess (mostly in the spring – it gets all over everything), but we wind up breathing this stuff.

I agree with Mayor Hold here, we have to strike some balance where we have enough wood to burn but we keep this menace to a minimum. I think we need to increase the population to where the number of naturally sprouting trees matches that used in fireplaces.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: I'm afraid something might be missing from Freehold.

WJB, are you serious? The trees in my area have been ejaculating all over me and into my lungs!?!?!!?!?

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: I'm afraid something might be missing from Freehold.

WJB, are you serious? The trees in my area have been ejaculating all over me and into my lungs!?!?!!?!?

I kid you not Brother. Here is a picture of what a car with tree spunk all over it looks like after being left outside overnight. I often wondered why Al Gore always has that funny look on his face.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: I'm afraid something might be missing from Freehold.

Oh dear. I think I'm going to take my car to the car wash right now.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: I'm afraid something might be missing from Freehold.

I feel violated by trees. I heard of a horror film where that happens. This feels like that must have looked to the sinners who watched it.
Posted via Mobile Device